I was at restaurant with my boyfriend and his 4 year old son. The son was playing with his toy train at the table. The son started to "toot" and whistle really loudly. (The boyfriend didn't nothing as always). I told the son that we were inside a restaurant and we needed to toot and whistle more quietly. I demonstrated what I meant. The son thought it was a game and said "no" and laughed. I told him that we needed to be more quiet. When he didn't, I gave him a choice to play with the train quietly or not play with the train at all. He ended up playing with the train more quietly and I complimented him on playing more quietly.
Was this, in your opinion, okay to do? If I had taken the train away, then what? I don't want the kid to sit there and do nothing while we wait for the food, but he can't play that loudly. What if he started screaming? Do we leave the restaurant? If we leave, then won't he scream every time we do something he doesn't like?
2006-09-25 11:46:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I said my boyfriend didn't do anything.....He lets other people( IE- his parents or sister) handle his son. If he has to do something it's usually just "no", "stop", or "I'm leaving you". He doesn't do anything to make the son stop, understand why he should stop or how to do what is "right". It's all sort of a game to the son. I don't think my boyfriend really knows what to do.
2006-09-25 12:25:54 · update #1
You did the right thing. Give him the opportunity to do as you ask. If he doesn't, then take the toy away. Kids have to learn to behave in public differently than they do at home. And if it ever comes to taking away a toy or leaving a restaurant then you're teaching him there are consequences for his actions.
2006-09-25 11:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you did worked, but it doesnt always. Sometimes you have to take the toy away and that usually makes them listen. BUT some kids are used to screaming and getting their way. This is where the parents come in. The children have learned this behaviour.
What you did was best and it just happen to work. When you desribed the scene and said that your boyfriend did nothing, as always, it reminded me of my husband when we got his kids. He always did nothing, and wouldnt support me if I did something in his place. This is why his kids grew up to be losers.
You handled it well, so good for you. But if the boyfriend continues doing nothing, the little boy wont continue to listen to you either. He will see that daddy doesnt care, so why listen to you? Thats just the sad truth.
Best of luck....
2006-09-25 19:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be persistant with that..and yes I think that is ok..my 4 yr old son is the same way and also VERY into trains..He is a very very good kid BUT when he does act up I have to threaten to take his trains away(sometimes actually taking it away) and it works everytime...He'll whine a little but he knows that just makes it worse..lol..Just have to let him know you arent playing a game and if you say no or else..you need to go through with it and he'll take you seriously after that. He is old enough now to learn that.
2006-09-25 19:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by blondemom133 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your boyfriend doesn't guide his son, I think you were reasonable. Remember since he has shown you he isn't hands on when it comes to dicipline he won't likely be there to dicipline your kids if you should continue the relationship. You should talk this over how you will handle his son's behavior in the future. I think you did the right thing, children need dicipline and limits.
2006-09-25 19:04:40 · answer #4 · answered by bramblerock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure of your age, but you did great.
if you have to leave the restaurant because of a screaming child, he would need to understand that this was unpleasant for you, and that his behaviour is unacceptable. he needs to have a reward of some small porportion for behaving nicely, such as your praise, and some type of accountability for bad behaviour, like loosing a toy. good work
2006-09-25 19:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing and maybe if its to stressful to take toys like that in maybe you can try to take in a coloring book and some crayons that might be a little Quieter and at the same time he's got something to do and your not stressed out .
2006-09-26 19:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and handled it well.
As to the screaming portion. You take him outside and lay the law down.
If you scream, we go home and that's the end of it for a month!
2006-09-25 19:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent!! You did a great job! You gave him a choice and he did as you said. That's the way it should be.
2006-09-25 18:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by M & M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did fine! and so did he! Keep up the good work!
2006-09-25 19:06:14 · answer #9 · answered by hillbilly wife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋