Single Dad needs advice on how to pay for childcare?

Question

I'm a single Dad with 2 daughters (age 2 and 5 yrs old). I make decent money but It's getting very difficult to pay for daycare for my youngest and after school care for my oldest. I receive no assistance from their mother and I can't take her to court because she has nothing anyway. Does anybody know of any grants or programs I might beable to apply for to help pay for the childcare? Childcare + Rent + food + car payment + clothing, I don't know if I can make it. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Answer 1

Daycare---contact your local dept. of jobs and family services.
They help with paying a portion of daycare bills at county approved centers and the rest is based on your income. They will give you a list of approved centers, you can call to see if they are accepting new children, check out the center and go from there. I pay $145 a month for 2 kids. Normal rate is $125 for the my youngest and $110 for my oldest. Thats PER WEEK, PER KID so you can see it is a big difference, and I too, make decent money.
Food---WIC (Women, Infants and Children) is a great program that will provide coupons for Milk, juice, eggs, cereal, cheese and peanut butter. Based on child's health and how the measure up to other children the same age on the growth chart. This is only for children up to age 5, so one daughter may qualify. It can also be based on income and need, but it is a program that is more along the lines of creating a healthy child.
Food Stamps---income based, helps out with buying food for your family. Food only, no cleaning products, paper products, alcohol, cigarettes or like items.
Rent, clothing, Car payments----try the dept. of jobs and family services again. They have voucher programs for help with the above things as well as other items.
Medicaid----If you do not have insurance coverage or have minimum coverage, you can apply for the medicaid card. It will pick up all the costs associated with health care.
Utilities----Budget plans for electric and gas, Lifeline service for phone, PIPP plans for electric and gas. Call your utility companies for info on these programs.
Most of the county programs will ask for pay stubs or tax returns, copies of rent and utility bills/receipts, checking account info, medical insurance info, saving, assests, birth certificates and social security numbers. Take all requested info with you to any appointment. They are very good at helping you learn about and understand what is available to you.
No matter what the mother doesn't have, it is your responsibility to provide for your daughters. Contact child support, get a case worker and open a support case against her. She may not have much, but if she is proven to be the mother (they will order a paternity test for everyone involved to establish paternity, even if you know for sure who the parents are), they will do what is necessary to have her pay child support. It may not be much, but you can go for back support and any support that is ordered will stand, even if she is thousands of dollars behind. If she is working, he employer MUST take support out, if she is on unemployment, they also must take support out. Her tax returns will also come to you. She will be legally obligated to pay the support, no matter how long it may take her.
Also, I shop at consignment shops, Goodwill and off of the sale rack. Most palces anymore will only take clothing that is in good condition, no tears, stains or anything like that. My kids are hard on clothes. I have a few "good" outfits for them, but the rest is hand me down, 2nd hand or garage sales. We don't look like ragamuffins, but we aren't sporting GAP, AE or Abercrombie, either. It just isn't woth it to buy that stuff.
Try a local church group if you need "adult" time. They usually provide childcare and a way to just get out of the house and around other adults. Parents groups are good, too. We HAVE to keep our sanity.
Shoot me an e-mail if you want to know anything else, to chat or even vent.
It's tough, it's hard, it can get discouraging, but you are doing what you need to.

I am a 29 yr old single mother of 2, a 4 1/2 yr old boy and an almost 1 yr old girl.
I have taken advantage of every program that is out there. I work full time, go to school part time and live on my own. Before I had my kids, I worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs at a time.
I have paid plenty of taxes and have every right to take advantage of what is out there, as do you.
The programs are designed to help those who need it to get back on their feet, take care of their family and live a heathy life. (although there are MANY people who are abusing the program)
Don't get discouraged, make a few phone calls and do what you can. It is hard, but it makes you stronger and helps you to realize what you can do to survive.

Answer 2

This is so tough. There are some things you can do. These are the things we do to save $ so I can not work full time....in your instance it may work to help you have more $ for essentials.

Sell car with payment -- use the $ you make to buy a new car = no car payments (also older and less cool car, but...)

Clothing -- look into consignment sales. My hubby hated this idea at the get go, but you can get outfits for $3-5 and shoes as low as $2. Some sales are open in the evening and some on Saturdays. This saves me a TON on my kids clothes.

Can you look into an in home daycare for your 2 year old, it may be less than a franchise type daycare center. Also, does you school have ASP (afterschool program) -- they have the best rates going around here.

You can do this, like someone else said, you will because you must. If you are religious, seek out a church (or appropriate place of worship), in my experience "church families" can be amazing. They can also offer assistance. Many churches house daycares that also offer financial assistance in regards to tuition.

Good luck to you! Pat yourself on the back. You will never regret what you are doing for your kids!

Answer 3

every area has differnt plans - your daycare or school would know about them so please check
its not easy but also you can give up things.. like cable TV, cell phones.. the internet.. f you are making car payments - sell your car and drive a $500 car (they last forever)
I know how to save money - as a single parent I raised my kid - working part time for minimum wage AND managed to save enough for a down payment on a home!
live cheaply, more walks in the park - less going out for dinner
buy used clothing at second hand stores (some times you can even find new clothes)
be smart with your money

buying a home makes WAY better sense then renting its the single most important thing you can do.. #1 get rid of the car - that will be a huge savings

Answer 4

Call your local welfare department and have them direct you to a program that may work for you. I live in cali and they directed me to a place that depending on income helps with full payment of daycare or you pay a share of cost each month. Who knows what decent money is anymore anyways. I work with people who get help from this program with 2 children and the husband is a decent rank in the military and she works for a decent wage also. Just call and see what they tell you, you would be suprised about all the programs are out there to help you. And don't feel ashamed, your tax dollars pay for it too.

Answer 5

Take a deep breath dad and thank you for stepping up!You can cut down on costs that you don't realize you spend unessesarily.Write down every penny you spend for a week or two including food and bills,toys and colas and coffees and intertainment,and lunches. You can do without most of it. You have to to make a secure home for your family.Just pay bills, buy food to be cooked(much cheaper),and any meds or pullups you need for the kids. Do this for at least 2 mo. and you will get straight. The kids do not need toys every time you go to the store! Just for b'days and holidays.You can save lots by taking leftover supper for your lunch the next day.You may find an elderly or retired lady to stay at your house so the girls will be more secure and it will be easier for you also. If the lady will dod light cleaning it would be a bonus and worth a few extra dollars.If she is there you will have less gas going to daycare and theykids will not have to get up earlier to go to daycare before you go to work Your morning will be much smoother and less stressful.You can buy needed clothes at a thrinft shop. There are some great clothes in them that are gently used or never used and at great prices. The youngest can also wear the oldest girl's clothes so save them and pack up to save for for her.You can get school clothes there also and jackets for winter.Don't feel bad because sometimes a kid can wear someting once and ruin it so there is no need to buy expensive play clothes or school clothes when they do finger painting and get glue and sand stains on them. As long as they are clean and neat they are ok. There are many many ppl who shop at consignment, thrift,or 2nd hand shops for their kids and themselves.Some daycares will give a discount for the second child if you will call around. There is a program here in Texas that pays part of the fees for single parents but I can't think of the name.You can ck out church daycares also or college daycares may have an opening and the kids get great programs there. There are many ways to make ends meet. I had to do it with my 3 kids. Ppl couldn't beleive I did all that I did for my kids. I didn't have much personally,no diamonds,gold, just plain clothes, and we didn't get to go out much but they were in sports,gymnastics, church activities,and had lots of friends to play with.My daughter and son were chosen as class favorites,cheerleader,band award winner, Val. Sweetheart,Most likely to Succeed and many more things so shopping at 2nd hand, making some things,and shopping stores like Marshalls,and Ross's didn't hurt their chances in school! I wish you well and if you need recipes, or anything else just contact me. I am home and disabled now and I love to help when I can.Best wishes!

Answer 6

Contact your local school district... they can put you in touch with agencies in your area that can help. Some preschools have "scholarship" programs that can help pay for tuition. There are also some after school programs that are based on a sliding income scale, so the payment would be based on your income. Head Start preschool is a good place to look for quality care based on a sliding income scale (and in a lot of instances, it is free). Also, if your child qualifies for any special services (speech delay) they may qualify for services from your local Regional Center.

Answer 7

Since your youngest is only 2 you can probably (Depending on how much you make) qualify for WIC (It is not only for single moms). They give you vouchers for certain food items, so that would help with your food bill. You could also look into hiring someone to come to your home because that would be cheaper than daycare, and they can play with their own toys, and they can meet your oldest when she gets off the bus.

Answer 8

Do you belong to a church? I ask because they may have some way to help you with the costs of daycare or they may provide a subsidy or even allow you to use daycare for free.

As for the government, they may have help for your situation so see what you can find out through a social services agency.

I wish you all the best, that you'll find a way, be given a way to overcome this difficulty.

Answer 9

where I live you can get childcare assistance from the county on a sliding scale fee. There is usually a waiting list and it may not exist at all where you are...but I would call your county and ask at least.
I know how expensive daycare can be and I would not be able to afford to work if I didn't get the assistance.
Oh, and for those of you who judge people, it is not welfare.......I pay for my kids.

Answer 10

CDR (not sure what it stands for but it's where the government pays for your daycare. You qualify based on income)
Some churches have daycares and the rate is based on a sliding scale.
Is there an easter seals daycare in your area? If so you might check them out.

Oh, and you will make it. You will because you have to.