Hi- I have a 3 year old girl and she has been having absolute melt downs lately! We have tried time out and taking stuff away, but good grief. It's so embarrasing when we go to the store and she has a coniption. Any suggestions?
2006-09-25 11:40:17 · 10 answers · asked by Goldylocks 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess, she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If she damages something in the home, she does things around the house to pay for the damages. If she throws a fit in the store, you leave. Let the discipline fit the crime
Another technique you can try when she is misbehaving is this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (control yourself, stop hitting, listen, behave, calm down) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she's ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a few times before she gets the message. Thank her when she behaves. Keep it up!
Empathize with her. Say things like “I can tell that you are feeling very (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated). What can we do about that?” It will help her to better express herself.
Give her something to keep her occupied in the store, something that she can’t play with at home. Give her something to look forward to once you get home (she can help with dinner, read her a story...). This should make your outings easier.
Notice her when she is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help her to feel powerful in a positive way.
Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Pick your battles! Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!
2006-09-25 12:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all pick a form of discipline and STICK TO IT. Quit going from one thing to another, you're only adding to the problem. She is going through wat is termed as "the terrible twos" which can begin at one year and go through until kindergarten
For the most part I ignored the tantrums, they are nothing but attention getters, don't pay attention to them and they stop after awhile. Secondly. The next time she acts up at the store, take her home, leave her with a trusted friend/parent or hire a sitter and tell her that until she can behave properly she will not be able to go to the store or anywhere else with you, then STICK TO IT. At home when the tantrum strike put her in her room with a child gate in front of her door, put on headphones and walk away, go on about whatever it was you were doing before the tantrum. When she calms down let her out of her room.
2006-09-26 02:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my 18 month old child did this to me (not at the store thank goodness), he would fall in the floor screaming for no apparent reason that I could see, so I walked away, as soon as I was out of his sight, he stopped, and when I returned, he started again, so I left again. So the next time I walked into the room and he got started with his fit I walked over to him and picked him up by his arm and spanked him, told him I would not put up with his temper tantrums and he never did it again.
I am not saying this will work for you, but it couldn't hurt to try, I know you have to be at your wits end.
Hoping for the best, good luck.
2006-09-25 23:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by Pam of Ga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it. Everyone with any sense knows that kids sometimes do that and there is not a whole lot you can do about it. Some grown ups even act out and throw fits.
Just be careful you don't encourage it by giving in and she will grow out of it. If you get mad about it then you've let her ruin your day or trip and then there is a problem. It's not easy to keep cool when you are being controlled by a 3 yr. old.
2006-09-25 18:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by Not Laughing w/ U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to sound mean or nasty ...like some of the people who answer these things..But a good old fashioned swat on the bottom (at home...not in public...)once in awhile...might work!! My son does this now and then too..he's not quite 3 yet...but I put everything BACK and tell him he's in big trouble..we get home..and he gets his little swat on the diapered butt...and I tell him to stop or he won't be going anywhere! His melt downs have cut down to ONLY when he's over tired..SOOOO I make sure he's napping BEFORE we go anywhere public...and I also will avoid walking down any isle that have...toys, movies, candy etc..that might set him off...
2006-09-25 19:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ignore her. Yes, it's embarrassing when you're in the middle of the store and she's throwing a fit but personally I think it's even more embarrassing when she's throwing a fit and you're trying to get her to stop and she's screaming and kicking you. Just walk away and ignore her. She only does it for attention and if you give her any sort of attention while she's throwing a fit then you're giving into her and she wins that way.
2006-09-25 19:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine did the same thing to me!! I gave her a warning...then I picked her up,left my cart there with everything in it and said sorry as I walked out of the store with her screaming and kicking!She has not done it again.I also would not let her go to the store with me at all for a few times,I told her I was going to the store and told her why she could not go.
2006-09-25 18:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by spoiledsarah25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you can still see her when ata store, just walk off and leave her standing in the middle of the aisle. Tell her that you are NOT going to deal with her tantrums. Don't just say "Sweety, that is not approriate", Tell her sternly that she WILL NOT have a tantrum. I little boy I used to baby sit did this and he KNEW that I would not listen to it. His parents always freaked out and over-reacted so he knew that he could get away with it with them. My son is 2 and will bang his head on the floor and I just walk away and he stops.
2006-09-25 18:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yea the best advice is to ignore the tantrums i know it is embarrassing my daughter trys it on most times we go out especially when we are in the supermarket but as long as she is in your view leave her to it she will soon come out of it and stop good luck
2006-09-25 18:47:53 · answer #9 · answered by vicky s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remove sugar and refined grains from her diet.
2006-09-26 00:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by Delphine F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋