My BF of 4 years is a touchy kind of guy so he thinks it's ok to touch people (like waitresses). He is genuinely nice and people like him, male and female.
We've had an argument before about this before, and another last night. He put his hand on a waitress's shoulder to order something when we were at the bar together. It was tame, not creepy or anything, but still.
The waitress is totally friendly with bot of us (I like her, she is a sweetie, remembers my name, etc) and we've gone to the place like 10 times over a year, but she is not a friend, etc.
Anyway, I gave my boyfriend a hard time over this (over-reacting?). I am not jealous or questioning his motives, just think it's innapropriate.
PS. He is always affectionate to me in public and the waitress is not very pretty... if it matters ;)
Oh yeah - he has a history of cheating/touching other females *in front fo me as well as behind my back*.
Thoughts?
2006-09-25 10:44:18 · 25 answers · asked by eurogirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Touching on the arm, shoulder, hand is not necessarily flirting. Especially as he does it with everyone. And we know he is not flirting with the men. If by cheating, you mean touching in this way, let it go. Save your arguments for the big stuff. This is not really important, you are not going to win. Sounds like he loves you. Like you said, he is just a touchy feely guy.
2006-09-25 10:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some of us women are the touchy, feel-ly kind - and you being a very nice looking guy doesn't hurt. Some of the women may be trying to see if you hit on them - some may be just flirting (not wanting to take it any further) - some may think that it will get them more points with you. Some may just feel a warmth from you. It's hard to say - but, if a women really likes you - and wants to really get to know you - she will let you know in very certain ways. Keep being a gentleman.
2016-03-18 01:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was touchy feely when you started dating him then he's not going to just wake up one morning and stop being so. I'm touchy feely and that doesn't mean I'm trying to bang everyone I touch! I'm sorry but yes, you're way over-reacting. Besides, what waitress isn't nice to people? That's how they get big tips at the end of the night!
2006-09-25 10:50:11 · answer #3 · answered by scorpion187us 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if he has a history of cheating why are you dating him? not to smart. However, i flirt. I am married and I flirt my *** off. If she is a close family friend, i might even pat her butt! But i don't cheat. However, for education sake, back in the old west, when a waitress got patted on the butt by a patron, it was to let her know he wanted another drink. Just thought I would throw that in there.
2006-09-25 10:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's flirting. Sorry. It's inappropriate to put your hand on anyone's shoulder other than your boyfriend's/spouse's shoulder.
2006-09-25 10:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by Conscious-X 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Kinda creepy... Sounds like he's kinda weird... If I was a waitress, I wouldn't want guys touching me. It would be very uncomfortable...... You are not overreacting. Watch him and keep him on a short leash.
P.S.---- You should've dumped him when he cheated on you. You don't deserve that.
2006-09-25 10:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by the love guru 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
umm...if he has a history of cheating its time to send him packing. I dated someone who was friendly with female waitresses. Some times it bugged me and sometimes it didnt. If the waitresses isnt pretty, dont worry about it. Just drink a lot and talk to the guy sittin next to you!! touch his shoulder!!
2006-09-25 10:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion is: I find the act totally unacceptable...even if its innocent. I think it is taking niceness a bit too far.
His reputation of being a cheater though, compounds my assertions. Lastly, he should respect your feelings and show a willingness to let that be the apex of his being nice.
2006-09-25 10:55:41 · answer #8 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is only my opinion I DO NOT LIKE A TOUCHY FEELY GUY.. to me it is not appropriate.. i am happily newly married and let me tell you i am so happy my husband is not the touchy feely kindo guy..he wont even hug my girlfriends which is a good thing for me and i love that about a man..no need to be so loose you know? a man should be a man especially if you are around him. how disrespectful of him to flirt and touch other woman dont matter who they are. i dont like men who are loud, obnixous and touchy feely ( ofcuz to other woman). i think you should tell him and stand your grounds that it bothers you. And if it doesnt change then maybe it shows you sth .. it shows you that he isnt willing to sacrifice ( lol not like it is abig thing to sacrifise..all he has to do is to keep his hands only on you that is all) . I am a beautiful woman and i do get hit on alot but it doesnt mean i will feel comfortable with my husband touching a waitress who is not all looks. that doesnt change anything. it is the whole idea behind it. As you said he has cheated before .. doesnt that show you something?? I mean if he doesnt change his ways then i dont think he is worth for you to be with him. I should give you credit for tolarating it this far. honestly i dont know how you do it. My friends tell me my husband is cold but he is not cold actually he just is not touchy feely and flirty and i like it . He respects me and plus it is not in his nature. Friendliness has nth to do with being touchy feely with someone. My husband is a great guy who is nice to male/female but he doesnt go to that extra mile to touch women like that in a flirty way . Do tell him please it is not ok. I am sure alot of ppl might disagree with how i think but i am sure your man wouldnt like it if you went around did what he is doing to men when he is around. But if you do it then you cant judge it right? dont let a man treat you this way, it doesnt mean he doesnt love you and dont let him use the excuse that he is a man.... it is no excuse. conclusion: DO NOT TOLARATE THIS BEHAVIOUR..IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AND YOU SAID HE HAS CHEATED BEFORE..COME ON GIRL...STEP IT UP!!!!!
2006-09-25 10:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know's he a touchy kind of guy, maybe you need to stop stressing.
2006-09-25 10:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋