I dont mind having attention, but my fiance is the type who does not like christmas or his birthday- cause everyone looks at you- and he would rather have eloped- but im the opposite and wanted the dress, and the walk down the aisle, and etc.. so we are doing it my way- but w/ a small amount of people- (50)
Now I am afraid he will be bummed out during the wedding, and end up looking like it was an arranged marriage or something. Anyone been through this???
2006-09-25 10:20:22 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the wedding is not about him. it is about the both of you wanting to spend your lives together. he has to understand that, and should be able to look over the tiny little minute detail of ophthalmophobia (fear of being stared at). worse comes to worse, meds.
2006-09-25 10:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by ♫ sf_ca ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be sure to spend just enough time with your well wishers that no one feels like you snubbed them. you have to greet them as a married couple. do the assembly line, and the usual thing. then after a few dances, you can probably make your getaway after some socialization. Tell him to keep the focus on the two of you. Remind him that it's your wedding. and that you two will be leaving. He sounds like an intorvert and this is a major event starring him and you. the trick is to minimize as much as possible but considering the situation there isn't much you can do. hop in the limo as soon as you politely can. you'll probably be seeing people at your place of worship who will congratulate you possibly for a few months and so will he and he will need to be prepared for this. these are people who will have heard about this but who for some reason weren't invited or could not make the wedding. just be polite and say thanks for the well wishes. if the person asks why they weren't invited just say it was a small wedding for family and an extremely small group of friends. The important thing is to suppot him.
2006-09-25 22:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by leeanndemon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went trough this. I screamed and cried at my wedding. It was so bad. That was just because of the introductions, and the 1st dance, & the dance with my father. Oh I was crying so bad when I was dancing with my dad. I just want to go home and kill myself.
But then I got over it. My new husband had the DJ play some of my favorit songs. If I had to do it again I would not let the DJ introdue Us or the Bridal party, & I would not have had the 1st dances played.
P.S. After dinner the DJ played "the best is yet to come" and I asked my hubby to dance. We had so much fun dancing by ourselves, b/c everyone else was still eating. That is my best memory from my wedding reception.
2006-09-26 10:25:16 · answer #3 · answered by ee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, went through it and let me tell you, you have nothing to worry about, the wedding always tends to focus more on the bride than the groom, that should ease the tension a little, and once he is there and he realizes he just married the woman of his life he won't pay attention to everyone paying attention to you.
My husband hates being the center of attention and he loved every second of the wedding, he got to be with his friends while I danced with mine.
The one moment he seemed to be tense was when we danced so I started talking to him about funny and not so important things and before he realized the song was over and everyone else was dancing too.
Have fun and don't suffer, trust me, he will love it.
2006-09-25 17:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by White 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This requires a man's answer. Ignore the cackling hens herein. Women can't give advice about men. Here is the simple answer: get him a nice gift to be delivered to him by the best man while he is getting ready, with a card saying how you can;t wait to marry him. If he smokes cigars, a humidor full of cohibas. If he golfs, a new club, etc. If he drinks, send over a bottle of his favorite liquor or beer for the boys to enjoy while getting ready.
The bottom line is, the day is for BOTH of you. Let him get drunk if he wants to. Le thim hang out with the boys too.
2006-09-25 17:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, the guys don't really care a whole lot about the wedding. It is more for the brides anyway. He loves you enough that if you want for the wedding to go down like it is, then he should be able to stand up and be man enough.
2006-09-25 17:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Joshua B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate being the center of attention too. HOWEVER--this is just for one day. In fact, it's just for a few hours at most. While I'm not excited about being the center of attention, I'm excited about getting married. I'm excited about being with friends and family. I'm excited about being with my new husband. That trumps all anxieties I have.
I would sit down with your fiance and discuss his anxieties. Would it be easier if you two walked down the aisle together?
Listen to him, but don't give up your dream wedding because of it. You both need to decide what's best for the both of you.
2006-09-25 17:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am like your husband, but I would go through with the type of wedding he likes to make him happy. But you should understand if he goes off and be to himself and not socialize during the reception.
I have had a friend who would not invite me to parties that he goes to, because he assumed I was anti-social, but I was not. I just like to stand back and watch and not interact. He might be that type of person.
Talk to him about how he feels you might learn that it might not be all of what you think
2006-09-25 17:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by Vickey B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. It will only be for a couple of hours at the most. It will go so fast that you won't even know the day was there except for the pictures that remain. Just tell him to relax and have fun.
2006-09-25 18:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by poohbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It stinks being the guy in a wedding shy or not. Every guy has to deal with it though , he will not complain. Hopefully his best man will have a few cocktails ready for him before they have to go up their and wait for you.
2006-09-25 17:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by messtograves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋