am i too young?

Question

i'm 20 and my boyfriend is 22 we trying for a baby but everyone is saying your too young live your life have fun, its a life commitment.but how am i? i've got mortgage planning a wedding next year after being with my bf for 5yrs.so whats the deal?

Answer 1

You are no longer a child. If this feels like the right time for you, then it is the right time for you.

Answer 2

If at 20 you have been with your boyfriend for five years, have a mortgage, are planning a wedding and have taken the mutual decision with your boyfriend to try for an obviously much wanted child, I would personally consider you to be pretty mature. What a shame everyone is being so negative towards you. Sure, having a baby is a life committment, so is marriage and you are planning on entering into that, so is a mortgage and you are managing that, so why would they think that you are too young for a baby? Yes, you should live your life and have fun, and having a child is a 24/7 responsibility. However, all the hard work and trying times are far outweighed by the joy and love raising a child brings, both to you as parents, and to you much loved child.

I was 28 when I planned to conceive my baby, and I was nothing like as stable and together as you. It was a really tough time for many reasons, but she is now 8 and is the light of my life. She is beautiful, independent, intelligent, wise, funny and well mannered. She is also the most fun I have ever had. So your friends tell you to live your life and have fun, and you want a child, believe me, if you go ahead, you will live your life in a way that is enriched in ways you would never have imagined, and you will have much more fun, from the moment your child is born than you could ever have in a loud dark club, drunk on something expensive and eating a dodgy kebab. Saying that, I have had plenty of nights out, my parents love babysitting for me, and babies are actually really portable.

Listen to your instincts, not your friends, you know your own minds, and if it is what you both want, then I hope God blesses you with a little bundle of joy in the near future, I think you will make fine parents, and will have much fun. God bless.

Answer 3

If you were going for a dream job, or great house and everyone told you not to, would you listen?
I am 19 years old and a single mother to my 15 month old son and doing university. If you and your boyfriend feel that you would like to start trying for a baby that is your business.
I'm not going to pretend that having a baby is a bed of roses and that it is all easy and plain sailing because it isn't but it is sure rewarding.
It would probably be a good idea to wait until after your wedding to start trying and then you won't be stressed out about the seating arrangements and when your ovulating
I hope you go with you heart and do what you feel is right
Good luck x x x

Answer 4

Very simply put- a lot can happen in one year. You and he are at an age where lots of differences start happening. You may have totally different directions to take to reach your goals. You are not married so why put the cart before the horse? Let your baby come into a well established marriage so you can be sure to give your child the best possible life.You have a mortgage planning for the wedding so you are not financially ready for a baby either.If you think about it marriage bills, baby bills, and a new apt or house and its furnishings are three of the biggest things you will have happen to pay for. You need to put them in the correct order, pay each off and save for the next one before doing it.That is the way to keep stress from your marriage and your relationship and from your child. Best wishes and I hope you take this advice seriously!

Answer 5

The bottom line is ... if possible, try and do everything in the correct order, i.e. engagement, marriage, mortgage, home, family.

Ideally you may wish to squeeze some 'fun' between 'home' and 'family', but that's up to the individual. Some couples want to be up to their elbows in nappies before they return from their honeymoon. At the very least, it can be fun trying to start a family.

But remember, once you start a family, there's no going back. You are not allowed any second chances.

Personally, I think you should spend 2-3 years sharing some experiences with your new husband. After all, you'll still only be 23!!

Answer 6

I think that if your in doubt than you should wait. I am 27, got married young and have 3 children. My life is good but find the children are a little restricting and sometimes wish that I had waited a bit longer before having them. On the other hand. If you have children young you can do the travel and partying when your in you late 30's and still be young enough to enjoy it. Either way only you know what is best for you and I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Answer 7

I think they are only saying that you have plenty of time to have a baby. I am sure you here it all the time but babies change your lives. I mean... no more free time. If you plan on working than you drop the baby off 1/2 hour earlier than work, than work, than pick up the baby, home for dinner, bath time, and then finally put the baby down for the night. By that time it is 8:30 or so and you cant leave because the baby is sleeping.
I think they are just telling you to go out and have fun while you can.

Answer 8

Dont worry about what people are saying to you. Youve been with your boyf for 5yrs and you feel ready to have a baby,thats great! Its not like your rushing into and your old enough. I got married at 19 and found out i was pregnant 2 days before the wedding (we'd been trying for 4 months). I had also been with my partner for 5 years. Some people said the same to me but I really wasnt bothered, its my life and thats what we wanted to do. Yes its a commitment but we still live our lives and have fun and Im sure you will too.

Answer 9

I am 20 and my husband is 21 we have 2 beautiful daughters together 1 is 3 and the other is 18 months, i was always being told i was too young but it is the best job in the whole wide world nothing can beat it. Go for it, it is your choice and i am sure you will be fine. Good luck and dont listen to what these other people say. Its your life live it how you want to

Answer 10

what happens if you decide to wait then for some reason or another you find out you mised your chance in life, if its what you both want go for it. who made the rule that you cant live your life and have fun while youve got kids, what do they mean by having fun anyway i bet if you got drunk and threw up on their doorstep they would tell you to grow up and be responsible.
Ps not all babies are a nightmare and extreme hard work i love being a mum to my 7 month old (i am 27 and while i have no regrets with what ive done in my life i sometimes think i would have benefited from having him when i was a bit younger)

Answer 11

Hi Mum in Training, I'm sure that YOU will make a great Mum.

Being a parent though is a very stressful, life long commitment that both you and your partner need to be ready for. Once you go down that road, you cannot put it all on hold whilst you have a break and do things for yourselves for a while.

My advice: Get married, enjoy a couple more years together to firmly bond your relationship and then have a child. Only you really know when you are ready, just be sure you are BOTH prepared.