do i stay with him?

Question

im in love with my boyfriend and i know he loves me but sometimes i feel like i have a hard time trusting him. We've been together [ officially ] fro 4 months and 1 year a unofficially. He's never given me a reason to not trust him, btu he is a senior and star player of the football team and it's hard to not think about another female getting in the way. I fear losing him because he means so much to me and i dotn knwo what i would do without him. He wants me to stay the night with him and i really want to but i dont know if I'm ready or not. I really think im scared to open up to him because of past relationship problems so what do i do?

Answer 1

First of all, don't let past relationship problems tie you down. You need to get over any of that, because you can't afford to just feel nervous because of it. You've got no reason not to trust him. Sure, he's got the opportunity, and lots of girls might be interested in him, but there's no saying he's interested in them back. Trust him until you have a reason not to -- I'm not saying to trust him until he does something to break your heart, but trust him until he does something suspicious.

Don't do anything with him you're not comfortable. Try to talk to him about this...go ahead, open up. you guys need to understand where you stand.

And good luck, I hope it works out. =)

Answer 2

I think trust has to be built. Let his actions show you what kind of a man he is, to determine if he deserves your trust. It's always scary to feel as if you love someone that much, like you are losing a part of yourself if you open up. Staying the night with him will open up a whole different set of issues, I have never been in a situation where staying the night has helped any problems. I would wait until I was for sure ready and had no doubts about him or our relationship. You are worth waiting for, and if he doesn't want to wait then he doesn't deserve you!

Answer 3

First loves are so full of angst and self doubt. Should I, shouldn't I. Its the age old question. You know in your heart already what you want to do or not do. Trust yourself. If there is doubt its there for a reason. If you can't come to him freely with excitement and happiness as you take it to the next level you need to ask yourself why you're hesitant? Is it a valid reason or simply fear of the unknown. Statistics on first loves lasting a lifetime however, are pretty small but who knows you guys could be the exception to the rule. Either way I wish you well. Don't be pressured. It's your body, your decision.

Answer 4

Ah the spectacular inner turmoil that is relationships...if he's not willing to do what you ask of him then you both may need some time apart...still be friends but it sounds like you both need some away time to sort out some issues...this time away will only further validate your love for one another when you are both ready...be close friends but give each other some space!

Just a little commentary though, why are so many people confusig love with infatuation...you clearly are infatuated with him to the point of possesion issues...let it go its not love...its a future one night stand and then more emotional problems like you described in your past relationships...why do humans never learn from their past mistakes...geesh!

Answer 5

From experience, if you are "not ready" or "not sure" you shouldnt stay over its only going to be uncomfertable for you... Things like should ONLY be done with some one you REALLY care about and someone who cares about you soo much that they will NEVER pressure you!
EXAMPLE:
when I was in high school i started dating this guy that i had a crush on since middle school, (which is now my husband)
he would stay late in my house and we would hang out after every one feel asleep... things would lead to another and (i wanted to go all the way for the first time, meaning i was a virgin) I wanted my first time to be with him because I cared about him so much that even if our relationship didnt last i knew i wasnt going to regret it. I just loved him for such a long time before we actually started dating.
(getting to the point) Moral of my story is when I told him that night that i wanted him to go all the way with me he said ...

No, I want you to think about it and when you feel 100% in me doing so then we can start the party! That made me realize how much he REALLY cared about me, he could have taken advantage of me and my feelings but he didnt, he wanted me to be ready, I waited 2more months and it happend. and that night was the most memorable ever!
4 years later we get married (7/21/06) !!!

Answer 6

If you don't know if you're ready, you aren't, it's a simple as that. He's the star player and a senior, plenty of women are going to get in the way in the very near future, high school romances don't always last forever. My best advice is to get more of an identity and sense of self-worth outside of being "his" girlfriend, he shouldn't define you because he probably won't be there forever.

Answer 7

You need to take your time and whatever you do, dont stay the night with him in fear of losing him. and dont let the insecurity of mistrust consume you. it makes for a miserable life. Be young, enjoy it while you can, If this guy is stressing you out for unknown reasons maybe your better off without the stress trust me they will come and go, your dating life has barely begun.

Answer 8

You seem to have some trust issues with your boyfriend. Obviously if he is with you its because he loves you, maybe is the way that you act with him, the way you smile at him, the way you talk to him. Its not always about looks so why do you understimate yourself like that.
In regards to the second issue spending the night over, well only you decide when you are ready or not.

Answer 9

You aren't ready for a real relationship. Too many trust issues. Take a break and get counseling and control of your life.

Answer 10

Your insecure and that is not his problem. You have brought baggage into the relationship and are making him pay for the mishaps of others. Until/unless he gives you reason to not trust him...you need to get a grip.