Today my boy friend met my sister and I guess I was being a [little] controlling by telling him what he should and shouldn't say because I really wanted my family to like him and now I feel REALLY guilty about it...should I say that I am sorry and tell my family what he is really like...or do you think I should leave it alone?
2006-09-25 10:07:17 · 29 answers · asked by cookiemvh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
any relationship should be built on a firm ground of truth...one built on the grounds of lie is going to come down sooner than later
2006-09-25 10:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him, then let him be who he is to your family. You will never bring a guy home that your dad will approve of... every father is over protective of his "little girl". But, chances are, your family believes that you can make educated decisions about men on your own and trust your judgement. It's best to let your family see the same boy you do. Personally, I'd break up with you... I'd assume that by you telling me how to act, what to say, or what to do... that you apparently don't really like who I am. I'd look for someone else... but that's just me... I bet your boyfriend though the same thing already and unless you appologize, you may find that you don't have a boyfriend anymore.
2006-09-25 17:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it with you family, just tell your man that you are sorry if you sounded pushy on what to say and do. Just that he means so much to you and you were just scared about him meeting your family because they have somthing to say about anyone. And that you were wrong to tell him to be someone who hes not because that you love him the way he is and wouldnt change him for anything in the world and next time he meet them if he could just be understanding that you just want it to go smoothly. So he can be who he really is just be on his best behaivour. Sure he will understand and be great when he goes meets them again. You want to make sure you make it clear to him that you just were panicing about it, but really should of understood that you had nothing to worry about, that you know hes a great guy and you love him and wouldnt change him no matter what, and your family will love him as long as he makes you happy. If you dont tell him he might feel like you are imbarresed of him and maybe will want to date someone who likes him for who he is and not want to cover that up when he goes met the parents. Just patch things up with him before he thinks somthing else. Sure he will love to hear it from you and will have no more doubts. and understand why you did it :)
2006-09-25 17:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it alone. I don't know how old you are but you don't have anything to explain to anyone. However, I would say, that either what he says really needs to be sanctioned, in which case you have a problem, or you are sanctioning him, which is a problem. Either way you have a small problem which could turn into a big problem later on if you don't talk about it.
2006-09-25 17:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by Maine Landscapes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you feel the need to control him when he met your family? If you are dating him, he must be a decent person, well one would hope.
I would really just talk to HIM about why you were acting that way. It is pretty normal to want friends and family to like your boyfriend tho, so don't worry too much.
2006-09-25 17:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by Not_a_toothless_pirate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need in putting on a facade, just keep it real. Yes I would apologize. Your family doesnt have to date him, you do. And what is wrong with him where you have to coach him on what not to say and what to say? If he is a man (a real man) he will behave appropriately around your folks anyway without doing anything to embarrass you or make an a** of himself!
2006-09-25 17:14:16 · answer #6 · answered by Say It Again M'am 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should apologize to your boyfriend and let him be more himself. Don't mention anything to your family because first impressions are very hard and your family may take it as you are ashamed of your boyfriend or he isn't good enough for you. If they got a good first impression leave it at that. I am sure your boyfriend will be mindful of himself and not change their opinon.
2006-09-25 17:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't have to be a big deal. Just tell him the situation had you a little anxious and you went overboard. Resist the temptation to edit his statements if it comes up again. Let him stand on his own merits.
2006-09-25 17:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on whether he's really an *** or not.
More often than not though, your micromanaging will only cause problems and make everyone else irritated with you. I'd leave it for now and deal with things as they arise in the future.
2006-09-25 17:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by Mongo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave it alone... you've already done enough. Besides, your family should be given an opportunity to get to form their own thoughts about him.
2006-09-25 17:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by tampico 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋