2006-09-25 09:47:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
2006-09-25 10:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear the one about the truck driver that goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot to keep him company on the road?.............
Well I'm gonna tell you any ways............
The driver notices a beautiful parrot in a cage and wanders over.
As soon as he reaches the cage the parrot exclaims, "You gotta cracker Lard A*s."
The shopkeeper rushes over and says, "I'm sorry but he is a real wise guy."
The truck driver says, "It's all right I'm looking for one with a sense of humor to keep me company as I am usually on the road for two weeks at a time."
The Owner tells him that the parrot will certainly do that because he never shuts up. I am only asking $500 for him and $60 for the cage.
Done deal says the truck driver as he pulls out the cash. The Shopkeeper rings up the sale and informs the driver that if the parrot ever stops talking to him to bring him back.
The driver goes out on his next run with the parrot in the truck. The parrot keeps him amused for the first week with his non stop chatter. During the second week the parrot talks less and less every day. Finally on the last day of the return trip the parrot doesn't say a word.
The driver is a little annoyed and goes back to the pet store when he gets into his hometown. The shop owner asks if he can be of service and the truck driver replies, "Ya, you can take this stupid bird back and refund my money."
"Don't worry your parrot is just lonely for a mate. I will put him in a cage with a female and it will only cost you $5 to hear him speak again." replies the storekeeper.
The driver hands over the fiver and the owner leads him into the back room. The owner puts the parrot in a cage with a female and covers the cage with a cloth.
About five minutes go by and nothing seems to happen. Suddenly the cage starts to sway violently, loud thuds come from the cage and a lot of feathers start to fall out under the edge of the cloth.
The truck driver says, "What the hell is happening to my $500 parrot in there." as he lifts the cover.
In the cage the driver sees his parrot standing with one foot on the other parrot's back. His other foot is raised high in the air with a bunch of feathers in it.
The parrot exclaims loudly, "GAWD DAMN IT, for $5 I want her naked."
2006-09-25 17:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by reppinca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough so, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The man said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me -- I don't want to go deaf!"
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . .", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand . .
2006-09-26 13:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by Robert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"
2006-09-25 17:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by Chino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this one. "You're so fat, that when you wento on the scale, it said to be continued." No offense though. Hope you liked it! ^_^
2006-09-25 17:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what did the cheese say to the other cheese? mac off! lol!
2006-09-26 15:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's green, slimy, and smells like pork?
kermit's finger.
â£
2006-09-25 16:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question above yours is funny
2006-09-25 16:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by im lost come and find me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your so ugly that last time i saw something nasty as you, i flushed it. ha ha lol.
2006-09-25 17:24:38 · answer #9 · answered by bobo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋