Can I be a Good Father?

Question

My ex went back to her ex with our 3 and 4 year old kids. I was voluntarily sending support and visiting 3 times a year for 2 weeks at a time. (they are 2500 miles away). She stopped all contact and I got served with a petition to adopt from her now once again husband. They are trying to adopt without my consent on the grounds, I havent had contact or sent support for a minimum of one year. This is not true and I have receipts and photos of us. How can cutting me out of my kids lives be whats best for them? And can the kids bond with me without 24 hr/day contact?I am Canadian she is US

Answer 1

They Can try to do this adoption thing but they will not succeed..they would have to have your approval to do so. I looked into this before and it's not so easy to do. Can you be a good father? ..Sure, if you want to be. Although your not there everyday it's important that they know you still think of them, love them and try your VERY best to keep in contact. That means letters, phone calls, e-mails and maybe your ex will let them see you on a web cam. If she knew what was best for the children she would make an attempt to see if you two could work it out. I don't know the whole story here but i do know that nothing hurts a child worse than inconsistency and feeling unimportant. If you want to be in and out of their life spuraticlly then just let them adjust to their life without you. My daughter has a father who was never there and came in and out of her life as he pleased..never cherishing what he had. My daughter began to distance herself from him and became angry, depressed and it killed me. She had problems focusing in school and even talked to school counclers on the issue..this started in 2nd grade. I told him to be a father or stay away because he was hurting her by not calling or seeing her for like 6 months or longer in a row. Although skeptical and still to this day i let him continue to repair the relationship because my daughter wanted her Dad and i will never hurt my child. Slowly my daughter got her smile back..she felt important again..It's hard to hear a child cry and ask.."Why doesn't my Dad love me? or call me? or any other question you can imagine. They just want your love..every day YOU matter to your children no matter what your ex may think. Don't give up on them ..I assure you they will not give up on you. When they grow up.. you want them to know you did everything you could to have the bond with them. If you have to move to do it...then do it, they are your kids too and it's your right as their parent to be a part of their life.

Answer 2

You can still be a wonderful father at 2500 miles away. I think it's admirable that you go and visit 3 times a year for 2 weeks at a time.

I feel for you that your ex-wife is doing this to you. That has to be so difficult for you.

I saw what everyone else has to say, you need to contact a lawyer. One that has a license to practice in the state that your ex is living as she cannot allow her husband to adopt those children without your consent. I'm sure she's going to make this as expensive as she can for you in hopes that you'd drop your rights to your children. (I know I would, but only if I didn't feel the father was fit for my child)

Answer 3

I grew up in Illinois and my Dad lived in Texas. I saw him 2, maybe 3 times per year for one or two weeks at a time. My dad and I have a great relationship (I am 23 now). I am not angry with him for living far away. You need to get in contact with a lawyer because her new husband should not be able to adopt your children without your consent. If you have the proof, then they have no case. Good luck and I am happy to see a father who wants to be involved.

Answer 4

Do you want to see your children again? Make sure you have a steady job and take her to court for custody; If you want custody. If you are only interested in visiting your children 3 times a year and sending support are you giving the children the right message? Try to talk to your ex-wife civilly. Let her know of your concern of putting (make sure you use the word our)children in the middle of a custody struggle. If you are willing to fight for custody just remember most courts favor the woman in these cases and could be very costly to you.

Answer 5

first of all-even if you never see them again-and never send one more dime-they cannot do this without your permission

i know because my children were adopted by my husband-and it didn't matter if he never sent a dime-or never saw them-he had to willingly sign the papers to make it happen

Answer 6

Tell your ex to go suck a d!ck.
Take her to court.

They CANNOT do that without your concent.

Don't wait any longer.
Take them to court NOW.

The longer you wait, the worse it will be.

Answer 7

that sound like a good dam fight in court . she can't take your kids away . fight her in court man show your proof that you have been a good father to your children's.under the circumstance that you are in i don't think no court would allow them to do that.

Answer 8

you need the appear in court ,don't miss and talk to a lawyer