My bf of 4 years has been acting very distant lately. Well, it really started in the beginning of the summer. Not wanting to see me as much. Recently canceling plans a lot because of work. Past couple months, when I do go see him he always puts my car in the garage. He never cared about where I parked before.
There is this girl that is always calling and texting him. I noticed it really the last couple months.
Of course he says they are just friends, but things are seriously adding up to cheating and I want to know the truth.
What’s the best way to find out?
I saved her number one night. I thought of calling her, but that would only make matters so much worse if there is nothing really going on.
Maybe she is chasing him, he doesn’t want her, and really is working and things?
I don’t want to accuse and ruin things, yah know?
What are the best ways to find out the truth?
Hoping there are experienced people out there that have ideas
Thanks!!!
2006-09-25 08:57:35 · 27 answers · asked by Shanna S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well it took me a yahoo answ thread to give me the balls to snoop on him. Last night when he said he was busy, I took a trip by his house, snuck in with my key, and found him cuddling up to a girl in his bed.
You all were right and I guess I really did know it all along.
Now where to find the answers of how to heal
2006-09-25 23:15:28 · update #1
You already know the answer to this one - all the signs are there - HE IS CHEATING! Here is how I see the situation: (and please don't be offended - it is not my intention to hurt your feelings; I just want to give you an objective opinion). 1) He is not wanting to see you as much because he has to have time to see the girl he is cheating on you with; 2) He's not cancelling plans with you because of work - he is cancelling plans with you so that he can have time to spend with what's-her-name; 3) He is putting your car in the garage when you go to see him because he doesn't want what's-her-name to see your car parked at his house; 4) Don't worry about making matters worse by calling what's-her-name - your boyfriend IS cheating on you - how much worse can it get? 5) If she IS chasing him and he doesn't want her (which I seriously doubt) then he is a spineless idiot for not having the guts to tell her to knock it off; 6) Don't worry about "accusing" him and ruining things, as you say. He is already guilty, and HE is the one who has "ruined" things by cheating on you. The best ways to find out the truth? Forget asking him - if he is enough of a loser to cheat on you, he is enough of a loser to lie to you - he already has lied to you about the phone calls and text messages. If it were me, I would call what's-her-name up and see if she is aware that he is seeing you as well. If he is hiding your car from her, chances are she may not know about you. Wouldn't that be funny if she DIDN'T know about you, and the two of you decided to get together and both go over to his house and confront him? I would love to be a fly on the wall in that case! Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here. Forget about hiring a private detective - they are expensive (I know because I work for one) and this loser is not worth you wasting your money on. Beside, you already know the answer - yes, he is cheating on you. Dump him and move on (before he gives you a sexually transmitted disease). There are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. God bless and best of luck to you.
2006-09-25 09:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's cheating. Why would he put your car in the garage, unless he was "hiding" your car so his so called friend wouldn't see it? It seems a little strange. You can either trust him, or approach him with your concerns. I would ask him why all of a sudden is he putting your car in the garage, ask him in a joking way, "Are you hiding it from your girlfriend, are you afraid she'll see I'm here?" See what his reactions is. You'll be able to tell if he's cheating by his answer and reactions. Good luck.
2006-09-25 16:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by sedonalove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you're bf isn't cheating on you it sounds as if you're relationship is getting old. It sounds a little suspicious that he has a girl calling him, hides your car, works late and is distant. You need to take a long hard look at your relationship and ask yourself if this is how you want to be treated. If he's doing it now, he'll do it always. You need to sit down with him and in a non-confrontational way say, "this is how I feel, do you want this relationship to continue?" You must be ready to accept it if he says no. If he wants to work on it, he must commit to it and forget other "girl friends".
2006-09-25 16:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he cheating or not happy with the relationship anymore? If he has another girl text-messaging and calling him frequently, you should definitely look into it ASAP. Communication in any relationship is extremely important. You should set a date to meet with your boyfriend in private (cells off!!) and for as long time as you need to discuss your relationship openly. You should ask him to be honest with you NO MATTER what. It's better to find out the truth, even if may hurt, than to be "on the side' for months and getting hurt.
2006-09-25 16:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can do the obvious thing and ask.... straight out... and judge what he says. Generally though, trust your instincts. If you feel that strongly that he's cheating, he probably is. I dated a guy who I thought for sure was cheating on me but he would make it seem like we were fine. I went through his phone and saw messages from this girl and he said they were just friends... to this day I can't tell you whether or not he was cheating... but I broke up with him... because for me to not trust him THAT much, there was something wrong.... and our relationship would've never worked out. You may never know if this guy is cheating on you but the fact that you're worried about it should prompt you to wonder if this guy is really for you..... good luck
2006-09-25 16:06:50 · answer #5 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this may sound cheesy but honestly the best way to find out would be to ask, give him all your reasons explain why you think this. But the reality is if he tells you know can you trust that he is telling the truth, if not then the relationship is pretty much over anyway. With out trust there is no relationship.
2006-09-25 16:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by spanishfly_100 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just come out and ask him if he is cheating. If he gives you an answer you don't believe i would call the girl. My husband cheated on me a couple of years ago and thats what i did i could the woman who kept calling his phone and found out, and she didnt even know he was taken that may be the same thing with this girl
2006-09-25 16:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the truth--he is cheating on you.
I always enjoy the "AHA!" moment, you know, when you call him on his cell phone "hey babe, whats going on, where you at?" call, and you can see him from the street (you're outside) and he tells you he's at work and really busy...except he's at home and has a female visitor. That's when you knock at the door "Pizza Delivery" and cover up the little peephole.
WHEE! I could have LOTS of fun with THIS!!!
Ok, back to earth..NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS!
2006-09-25 16:01:27 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He IS HIDING YOUR CAR...what does he say, he wants to protect if from the elements? bullshit! He doesn't want her to see YOUR car and accuse him of cheating on her...This boy is playing you both...call the girl up and tell her that your seeing watsisface and see how she reacts...if she knows about you and is seeing him anyway she's a ho...if she doesn't know about you she is just as innocent as you are and you should get together and confront this hustler you call a boyfriends
2006-09-25 16:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by violet1656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why waste your time? You have all the clues that says he's cheating...what more do you need? To catch him in the act. If you have doubts about your bf then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship. A relationship without trust will surely fail.
2006-09-25 16:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by aak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋