How do u get over an ex? Especially when they insist on being friends...
I recently broke up with my boyfriend; his decision I’m cool with it, however why does he insist that we be friend immediately? He calls all my numbers and leaves nasty messages when I don’t answer saying "It’s your friend pickup" and accuses me of have sex, what’s that all about? I told him we can surly be friends but once my heart is healed I don’t want to break-up on Sunday and Monday be your best bud, come on get over yourself!
I’m not going to lie it kills me I can’t cry but I feel sooo sad and I expressed this to him but I doubt he cares how can I get over him?
2006-09-25 08:38:24 · 18 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ya know, sometimes you just need sometime apart.
I have an X that dumped me fairly roughly (to put it nicely) and she insisted on being friends. One day (after about a month) I just had to come out and tell her "Look, I wanna be friends too. And, maybe, someday that'll happen. But for now, I need some space because I am still trying to get over you."
Then we didn't talk or see eachother for about 5 months... Now we are the best of friends. It worked out really nicely.
Unfortunatly, there isn't an easy way to deal with the problem. Separation is often the only way to move on.
2006-09-25 08:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by MB_Bailey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think that if ppl knew the exact right answer to this question, there would be less relationship problems in the world. I have to agree with some of the other posters though, he is kinda tryin to keep u in the pocket so to speak. Wants u around, incase other endeavors dont go so great, but doesnt want the responsiblity of bein ur significant other. And, as hard as it may be, u will have to put ur foot down and tell him "no, i cant be ur friend right now, im still hurting" and when u feel comfortable, try to make it a friendship. If he is ok with this, then fine, be friends, if not, then u will know that he was just tryin to keep u open as an option, and u shouldnt have to be anybody's option, u should be someone's priority, and therefore dont need to be with him anyway.
2006-09-25 08:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by scorpioangel22 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
UGH!!! I'm actually in this same situation. It's not really good to be friends, why? well because you two have a history, and believe me girl...whether you move on or not, the feelings are there, not all there, but some of it. It seems like he wants to be sure you're around in his life, perhaps just in case his other relationships don't work out. Hmm, seems like he doesn't care, my ex didn't care about me!!! You may become sort of the shoulder he goes to WHEN and IF he needs you...go out, meet new people...you never know it Mr. Right is out there waiting for you!!! :-)
2006-09-25 08:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Brekn'dwn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got divorced three years ago and my ex-wife and I were still freinds (amicable divorce). But it started to have a negative affect on my next relationship so I just stopped answering the phone. Actually I got a new cell phone number and she didn't have it for 14 months until I did have to have contact with her due to my best friends wedding. But if you stop answering you phone when he calls, don't reply to emails/text messages he will eventually get the point. I know my ex did. She still sends me a text message every now and then but she understands that she won't get a reply. If I feel it needs a reply I wil but otherwise I won't.
2006-09-25 08:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by wut ever 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to cut off contact. Block his number or change your phone number. You just need some time on your own. It sound like you made the right choice, he's probably agreeing to the break-up, and just "being friends" as he counts on getting back with you at some point.
Spend some time with your good girlfriends and even go on a vacation if you can manage it. You just need to change your atmosphere a little bit, and get back to yourself - stick to your guns, you know yourself best.
2006-09-25 08:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since it was his decision to break up you've got to make it very clear that you're not ready to be friends and maybe never will. He's obviously getting great enjoyment out of watching you suffer or maybe he feels he's made a mistake. Either way your best bet is to keep your distance and not answer his calls. If he wants you back he'll have to treat you right and earn your respect. If it's over you'll be happier to have him out of your life.
2006-09-25 08:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by janisko 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you need to read the book "He's just not THAT into you - the no-excuses truth to understanding guys" by Greg Behrendt.
You are his Level 2 girlfriend...meaning...you don't qualify to be Level 1, but he's keeping you around in case he wants you down the road, or can't find better at the moment.
Reading this book will open your eyes to the games men play...and why...and will save you lots of time and heartache.
Good luck!!
2006-09-25 08:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by curiousRO 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to give you space to heal. Maybe in six months you will feel like hanging out with him on a friendship level but then again maybe not. Tell him you will let him know when you feel being strong enough. I have tried to be friends with my ex's and it has never worked.
2006-09-25 08:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by ambage 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to stop feeling sorry for urself and realize that u and him being friends in this point of time is gonna cause nothing but even more confusion for u of cours..
u need to let him know that this is a friendship that u'll bypass on for now.. just say hi and bye. let him know that u'd prefer if he didn't call u, leave msgs or visit u until ur ready.. it's not what he wants.. it's about what u want.. remember that...
2006-09-25 08:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to leave you alone until you are happy to be friends. O and by the way the reason why men do that is beacuase they want to keep you on the back burner incase they regret their decision. Its harder to get over someone if you keep seeing them. Break all ties until you are ready to deal with him. If he doesnt understand that then why would you want to be friends with him?
2006-09-25 08:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Ollie J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋