and become more responsible.. I have been with my bf for 2 years.. i want to have a baby. I am 24 and he's 27. I am just affraid that If I were to get preg that I would be the one taking care of it and all. while he still goes off and hangs out with his friends and does whatever.. His last ex-gf had gotten preg and he quit drinkin, dressed up all the time, and didn't want to go out much anymore, but then he found out that she had cheated on him and the baby wasn't his.. He knows i'm not gonna go anywhere.. and he knows i'm faithfull to him. and I trust he is to me..
2006-09-25 08:35:55 · 8 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It sounds like you need a little more time w/ your bf to really establish a solid, stable, permanent relationship.If you are uncertain in any way of what kind of father he will be, don't rush into getting pregnant.I'm a few years older than you, as is my husband, and when we had our baby my husband was not as helpful and attentive as I thought he would be. A lot of times fathers don't get into the "baby" phase--they think their job is to be there when the child is older and can do more things.You didn't mention whether your bf is as excited about you getting pregnant as you are...that is a huge question to ask him...is he ready to be a dad right now? Although my husband loves our son, he sees this "baby" phase as being my responsibility and he intends to be very hands-on when our son is old enough to be active...You're still young enough to wait on the whole thing for a bit and really be sure of what you both want.Good luck!
2006-09-25 08:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by becka55 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a child does not make men change from little boys to grown up responsible men. You should talk to him now about what your expectations are for when you start a family. He should start behaving now as he would when you have a child. Don't bring a child in to your relationship unless you are both ready to care for that child and give them all of the love and support that they need.
2006-09-25 15:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was with my bf for 2 years when I got pregnant...unexpectedly. He was 24 and I was 20. I thought he would stay the same..going out drinking and coming home at 6:00 am. But as my stomach got bigger, he started to change. He SLOWED down drinking, and stayed home more. Then after our daughter was born, he stayed home even more and only went out with his mother and sister to drink. After we got married, he stopped drinking all together except every now and then when him and I go out together. I couldn't ask for more. But don't get pregnant to make him change. That's just stupid. Because every man is different and since he changed once and got burned, he might not change again.
2006-09-25 15:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by MilitaryMom83 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think having a baby has the same effect on all men. It did change my boyfriend a bit, but not completely. He still does plenty of things that make me go, "You have a kid now, grow up."
But I do definitely see where some of his decisions are now based on our son and our future... but like I said, there are still things he does that make me shake my head.
2006-09-25 15:46:27 · answer #4 · answered by PrettyProblem 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. The worst mistake a women makes is getting pregnant to try to make their relationship work with their boyfriend/spouse. If the relationship is already shaky, a newborn will only add more tension and stress.
2006-09-25 15:44:03 · answer #5 · answered by BAnne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tuff question to answer to.In my like personally it made my husband change for good.He is now more responsible,great dad,great husband,he helps out a lot with kids.But like I said everybody is different.I have know some couples that their husband does not change.Good luck and hopefully he will change.
2006-09-25 15:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by Alexandria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are having this feeling, then dont have his child. seriously. like 80% of guys who are just "boyfriends" arnet gunna stay with you. maybe get married first. talk about it together. dont just decide on your own to have his child. if you're not married, there is no reason for him to stick around.
i'm raising my son by myself. his dad jet the second i told him i was pregnant.
i really do hope the best for you.
2006-09-25 15:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try asking HIM rather than people who don't know you, your situation, or anything about your boyfriend or life? Makes alot more sense to discuss it with him than on an internet question site.
2006-09-25 15:46:44 · answer #8 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋