i live in the chicagoland area and was wondering is it okay to give a gift for the wedding instead of money? just wondering because at my wedding i got gifts but am not sure that is appropriate because people say you should cover the price of your plate
2006-09-25 08:08:08 · 19 answers · asked by Petrina21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Gifts are certainly appropriate. The rule about paying for your plate is very outdated and very difficult to determine anyway. A gift is appropriate. At least here in MA it is appropriate.
A suggestion? Send the gift prior to the wedding. This makes it easier for the bride/groom. I'm sure as you experienced with your wedding, it's tough to lug all of the (much appreciated) gifts from the reception to home (especially if you are leaving for your honeymoon soon after).
2006-09-25 09:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by PT&L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The "cover your plate" thing is a total etiquette MYTH.
Their hospitality given to the guests at the reception, is given freely, "without strings", and all gifts given to the couple are given freely as well, not as "payment" or an "admission price". It is not a tit-for-tat arrangement! :)
The amount you spend on a gift is to be determined ONLY by your own budget and your affection for the couple.
You may give a gift OR money, whichever you prefer to give. If the couple is roughly your own age, I would say a gift is actually MORE appropriate since money gifts are really supposed to be something the older generation gives the younger-- it would be impersonal for you to gift a friend, sibling, or cousin money.
It is actually most proper NOT to bring the gift with you to the wedding or reception but to ship it to their home, or, if convenient for you, take it there yourself. Gift tables at receptions create a huge hassle for the family and create a theft risk, too.
2006-09-25 11:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go by "what people say" - especially the stuff about covering the price of the meal. That is not true, and those throwing the wedding surely don't expect it. We always give gifts for a wedding, it is more personal than giving money.
2006-09-25 09:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The "covering the cost of the plate" is the rule for a monetary gift. Honestly, giving money is a newer gift, actual presents are more traditional. Hence why there are so many stores that offer registries.
If they have a registry, then you are set. Pick something off of it in your price range. It's something that they already picked out as what they would like to receive. If they don't have one, ask their attendants for ideas. If you know their parents and/or siblings, ask them too for great gift ideas.
2006-09-25 16:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know of something specific that the couple needs or wish to give them something you think they might like, then give a gift. You're not obligated to give money. It's supposed to be the thought. I think most people give money because they don't know what to get. It seems most people live together before marriage, so they usually have everything they need for the house, but If you know what you want to get for them give it. I saw wrapped gifts at the last reception I went to (wedding was in August), so people must still give presents.
2006-09-25 08:13:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unquestionably, a gift is the most appropriate thing you can do. Money is impersonal, and the purpose of the wedding is to celebrate the marriage, not to equalize costs.
In general, the wedding is paid for by the parents of the bride.
In general, the gift you give is to the bride & groom, so giving them a gift that's equivalent to the cost what their parents spent doesn't make any sense.
Also, if they really were expecting you to cover the cost of your plate, they could have set it up as a pot-luck.
You should give what you are comfortable with, in particular, relative to your relationship with the bride & groom.
2006-09-25 08:39:24 · answer #6 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
a gift is good, i got all kinds of kool stuff at my wedding. I didn't get any money though. you might put some money in a card with the gift, go both ways you can't lose, lol
2006-09-25 08:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, when I were given married i received all sorts of presents on and off my registry. i did not go back something. they are presents. a bride ought to delight in any present she receives and trust me, in case you get duplicates, in some unspecified time sooner or later you'd be grateful you saved them!!! i will't imagine having a present again through a bride. i hit upon that so impolite and unappreciative. once you've lengthy previous out of your thanks to purchase something and seem on the party the least the bride can do is delight in each little thing you've done on her behalf. like it or no longer. i'd imagine re-gifting an merchandise someplace down the line is extra tasteful than returning something immediately. it really is the concept that somewhat counts and the human beings who come to rejoice with you. wow.
2016-11-23 21:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by rousselle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lot's of people give gifts. Do they have a registry where you can go? I would start there if not then things remembered is a good one to try. They have lots of personalized items.
2006-09-25 09:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think wedding gifts are accepted. They shouldn't ask for money.
2006-09-25 08:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by ♥c0c0puffz♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋