How can you teach a small child disipline?

Question

My nephews 2, and 4 are very hyper active, esp. the 4 year old. He doesnt ever listen to what adults tell him to do. What advise can you give that would help them behave better? what has worked for you?

Answer 1

Discipline is a gradual process that evolves out of the trust the child has for his/her mother. In the early period after birth, if a child is fed (human milk preferably) on demand, held on demand, never ever left to cry, and spoken to in a reciperocal fashion, then a child learns that mommy is reliable and the world is a good place. Out of these good feelings come a desire to please mommy.

Working with that good relationship and the child's desire to please, a parent then helps a child develop self-control and learn about the expectations for appropriate behavior. A parent doesn't scold a child for not knowing the rules, a parent teaches the rules. A parent must always be consistent. If you say 'don't touch,' you don't ignore a child when she touches, you remove the item or remove her from the item. If you say, please play over here and she goes over there, you take her in and say sweetly, 'i said you needed to stay here, so you'll need to go in because you didn't listen.' Done with consistency, it takes very little time to teach the average child that loving, reliable mom also means business.

Having very few rules is a very good idea. Having clear expectations is a very good idea. Understanding what behavior kids are actually capable of throughout their development is very important. Hitting is a very bad idea - hitting lowers the IQ, creates resentment, teaches fear instead of self-control, and doesn't work. Giving children lots and lots of attention when they are behaving well is good. Day care and other premature separations between mommy and child are bad and are strongly correlated with the children misbehaving and being less approved of by daddy - as well as with lower IQ, greater social problems, lower self-esteem, more depression and anxiety.

Building a strong, secure foundation and treating our children with love and repsect - that's what's worked for us. Our children are an unceasing joy to us and very very easy to raise. The book, "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" helped me undertake this better style of discipline. I have never met a child raised this way who wasn't sweet, respectful, and independent-minded. It's really very lovely.

Answer 2

I use a "time out" System. Get an egg timer and set it four minutes for the four year old, and two minuets for the two year old. The time is the age of the child. My girls are 4 and 5 and I love to use time out. Also, have a sticker chart. Give them an incentive to be good also. good luck

here is an idea for sticker charts:

http://www.latitudes.org/behavioral_charts.html

Answer 3

It takes discipline to teach it because you have to be consistent. Also, children learn from example. They are not your children, so it's not your burden or responsibility to discipline them. However, if you want them to respect you, you need to show them that you demand respect. When they do something wrong that involves you, correct them by letting them know what they did wrong and how they should behave. Speak to them at their level in a calm but stern voice. It seems to work for me. My nieces and nephews have always been good for me.

Answer 4

The first thing is consistency. Next comes finding a way to teach respect of elders...one can do this numerous ways. For those who spank, within reasonable limits, that is very effective when talking to the kids do not work. You have to remember that toddlers have a hard time with reasoning, but you are the adult. Time out? Maybe...to me, this is not as effective a punishment as a spanking when they misbehave. But one thing is sure, you cannot allow some things one day, then not allow them the next. CONSISTENCY!! Good luck and remember, you are the adult.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Don't laugh when they do things wrong, no matter how funny it is. Time out does work give them a minute for every age. Ask them do they know why they are in trouble, no point in punishment if they dont know what they did. Take things away i.e. toys, snacks, whatever seems important. And pop their butts!!!

Answer 7

Well, they are your nephews...it's really not your place to teach them that...but maybe you need to talk to the parents and tell them that the behavior in your house makes you uncomfortable b/c they don't listen to you.

Answer 8

I give my toddler time outs. Although, unless you're 100% consistent with it it just won't work.

Answer 9

Well a lot of people don't approve of my methods but i have found success and results in sitting the child/children down and having them watch an extremely gore movie. once you have "Forced" them to sit through it ask them in a stern voice if they want to be like the bad man in that particular movie.