when a person commits suicide,?

Question

why do the bereaved blame the person who was closest to the deceased? which only brings the other person close to despair.

Leaving behind a distraught wife, trying to support 2 young children.

Answer 1

please do not feel guilty in any way, it is not your fault and there is nothing that you could have done.
once a person decides to take their own life there is nothing you can do to stop them ( short of locking them away ).
it is always very hard for those left behind particulary when the death has been bought about by suicide.
try not to listen to those people who are trying to place blame, they are just ignorant and can not possibly know or understand what it is like to be in this position unless they have actually experienced it themselves.
i know how hard it is for you right now and my thoughts are with you and i wish you all my best wishes and luck for the future.
i know it is very cliche but time really does help to heal.
all you can do right now is try to be strong and be there for your children.
my heart goes out to you and your children. and i send you all lots of love. good luck to you all.

Answer 2

When people are greiving one of the stages they go through is intense anger - they are angry with the person for dying they are angry with everything. Sometimes it is easier in that moment to get angry with people who don't deserve it. It is a point they are at before they deal with the sadness and loss.

Try and view it like this. Emotions are running high and suicide is very difficult to come to terms with. Maybe you shoud all try and get some bereavement councelling.

In times like this many hurtful things are said which peope don't necessarily mean in the long run.

Turn to someone else a friend or family member or a support group. However bad you feel, you can come through it and life can be ok again. Its not the same again but that doesn't mean that in time you will not experience happiness and love again.

Good luck.

Answer 3

That is really sad, because the person who committed suicide probably would have done it no matter what. When someone is depressed, there is just no other way sometimes, and also I think it might be a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sometimes it is drugs, and who knows. They should not blame the person closest, because they do not need that stress if they were close to the individual.

Answer 4

when they feel lonely, some don't have a loving family or someone to vent with. Some feel depressed and they think that bycommint suicide will resolve all of their problems. It is true that not everyone has a loving family to support them. I don't and I know the feeling. They commit suicide because they are in despair, some are into drugs or they feel so lonely, they don't know where to run into when harsh times comes. It is not a reason to do it, but some weak people do and we can't blame them because we really don't know what's behind. To live is not easy and some give up by killing themselves. That's a tragedy.

Answer 5

No one should be blamed. I know it's natural in the healing process to point fingers, that way it takes a little of the pain off of everyone elses shoulders. Some people blame themselves, others blame the person closest to them. Either way it's not really fair. People need to understand that suicide is a choice of the person committing it, why don't we get angry with that person for being so selfish? I know I've been on both sides of the fence here, where someone took their own life and I've been the one rushed to the ER for the same action.

I agree with your last statement think of the person people are blaming, don't they have enough pain in their heart?

Answer 6

Whenever there is a tragic event, people try to find blame somewhere. In fact no one but the person who committed suicide can be blamed. It was their choice !!! The remaining relatives need to be supported and reassured that it is NOT their "fault" the person has left them. The remaining relatives/friends need all the support they can get. there are specific organisations to deal with loss and bereavement: ie
Cruse, councelling, GP, nurse at the surgery etc.

Answer 7

It's because they have no one else to blame. They can't blame the suicide victim because they don't want to disrespect the dead and they feel like the closest person should have prevented it somehow.

It's hard, people blamed me for my ex's failed suicide attempt. It was not my fault, he told EVERYONE he was going to do it so the heat should NOT have been at me. He should have gotten over our break up like a normal person, not a psychopath.

Answer 8

stick close to your kids you need each other, when everything returns to some sort of normality you will have learned that grief is at times an overpowering emotion that distorts the way people think you will not be alone your friends will stand by you and others may see the truth and have the decency to see past their own thoughts and realise that there are many victims to this tragic event.

Answer 9

A suicide is not thinking of anyone but themself. Therefore, no one is to blame for the suicide. It is normal to try to place blame but the blame should be on the one who departed this world. People don't like to blame the dead.

Answer 10

my dad committed suicide 2 years ago and blame was flown everywhere, it happenns because people like to find a reason for the suicide and its easer to blame someone but suicide is NEVER the fault of someone else, a person who takes their own life has made that choice themselves 100%