I HAVE A CUSIN WHOS HUSBAND IS IN THE MILITARY AND CHEATS ON HER CONSTANTLY ALTHOUGH HE BOUGHT HER A NEW BENZ AND GIVES HER MONEY SHE HAS SEEN ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS THAT HE CAN BE TRUSTED AND THAT HE WILL DO WHAT HE WANNA DO HE IS EXTREAMLY SNEAKY NOW SHE KNOWS ALL OF THESE THINGS AND SHE STILL STICKS WITH HIM THEN SHE CALLS ME TO COMPLAIN I LOVE MY CUSIN BUT IM TIERED OF HEARING HER COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BUT I DONT WANNA SOUND INSENSITIVE WHEN SHE IS GOING THROUGH HER LITTLE "BRAKDOWNS" WHAT DO I DO? I ALSO HAVE A FEW FRIENDS THAT ARE LIKE THIS ALSO THEY CALLYOU WHINING ABOUT THERE MAN THATS A DOG THEN YOU LOOK UP AND THEY RIGHT BACK WITH THEM SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHATS THE POINT OF LEAVING THEM, CUSSING THEM OUT, FIGHTING WITH THEM OR SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL IF YOU GONNA JUST STAY OR GO RUNNING BACK WITH YOUR TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS??? WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING A STRONG WOMAN?
2006-09-25 07:21:11 · 9 answers · asked by MAD A$ HELL! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds to me like you are also becoming a rug... her rug. You need to spell it out for these people, you have your own problems to contend with and if she refuses to listen to the sdvice you have given to her thus far, she will continue to keep you in this cycle. You have to break it by putting it bluntly. Tell her you dont know what else to tell her as you have run out of advice. If she wants to keep living like this then she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions on her own. Tell her you will be there for her on other things that come up in life, but there is just nothing more you can say about her lying cheating dog of a husband... and TADA you are off the hook on this one.
Hugs and I hope this helps you!
2006-09-25 08:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by Cutelilminxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing you should be happy that they come to you because they obviously feel your someone they can trust, but on the other hand sometimes it grows old fast when someone continues to come to you with the same problem over and over again. So if you don't want to hear it anymore you can in a nice way say something like this. "Look you know I care about you and hate seeing you go thru this but I've told you over and over again what I'd do but now its your choice. Things must not be as bad as you make them seem because you seem to stay with him time and time again. But I'm not trying to be rude but there's no sense in asking me for advice on this subject when you seem to have already made up your mind on how you want to handle it." Hope this helps out. Good luck.
2006-09-25 07:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well basically it doesn't much matter what you or I think does it? A rug they may be, and it is their choice. You always know when your man is cheating. It all comes down to the fact ARE they going to do anything about it? Just be a good friend and listen. They really don't want advice, only your friendship.
2006-09-25 07:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cousin has herself a sugar daddy! All her "breakdowns" are just for show, she knows he's a cheater and he pays her well to keep her mouth shut. If she didn't like her life she would leave it. Just tell her, what's good for the goose is good for the gander..maybe she should get a boyfriend..I believe too she should be strong and leave and make it on her own...but that is a conclusion she will have to come to on her own....tell her you don't want to hear her whining if she isn't going to do anything about!
2006-09-25 07:25:47 · answer #4 · answered by Shae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sentiments EXACTLY and this is how I handled the situtaiton when my cousins kept calling me complaining about the man and staying with the man. I told them that unless they we're willing to do something about the losers in their lives...I didn't want to hear it. I told them to bring their man venting to someone else. It really pissed them off when I told them that if they stay with the guys, they deserve whatever they get!!! IT may sound mean BUT I mean EVERY word of it.
2006-09-25 07:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her how you feel. Just tell her you do not understand. Tell her you love her and care about what is happening with her. You wouldn't keep your mouth shut if he was physically hurting her would you? Same thing, its just emotionally. Which will wear on her body. Tell her you are there for but she has to understand how you feel. If she is really upset about her situation, she will listen to you. She may just need someone else's input on things.
2006-09-25 07:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by beth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd stay out of it. Frankly it's none of your business. Listen to them but don't respond. Only they can get out. Appearently they like to be treated like crap or they would leave.
2006-09-25 07:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by skdelvalle2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can do nothing, it's up to them to come to their senses. If you want to help, then be there for them when they need to vent. Good luck
2006-09-25 07:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to let your cousin make her own decisions she is not going to leave until she is ready. does she have a solid supprt system to help her when she decides to leave?
2006-09-25 07:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by sharon r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋