My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and I really do love him. However, he seems like he is on the computer constantly and we have plans to get married in February. The more he talks about being married to me, the more I get cold feet. I was married before and it was easy. Now I don't know whats going on. He does have pros like cooking before I get off work, watching my children, helping them with their homework, and cleaning. He doesn't have a job because of his heart condition. However, I feel that if I stay with him, that this will be the story of my life. I want to be able to have things in life and I appreciate all he does do. My income can support us for the time being but when it comes to getting a house or new car, I wouldn't be able to get all that. Please don't tell me to get rid of him. I just want help figuring out how I can make this relationship last before it gets doomed.
2006-09-25 06:55:49 · 8 answers · asked by jodester 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's your life, you've got to decide what's more important for you and your kids.
Do you feel like you are settling if you stay with him? Are you okay with that? Would you want someone to settle for you?
If you're going to stick with him, then you're going to have to learn to live with the things you don't like, or talk to him about it and see if some kind of compromise can be reached.
Good luck.
2006-09-25 06:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know you told us not to tell you to get rid of him, and I understand that you care for him, but if he is never able to work again, then like you said you will not be able to get the things you want. If you can live with that, that is fine. If you really did love him though, material things would not matter that much. It seems to me that you are looking for excuses for you having cold feet.
It really all depends on what you want. It is great that he helps you around the house, but if it is other things you desire and you get married then you just might live your life unhappy.
There is no way for you to fix his "money" problem. You either have to deal with the situation as is or you are going to have to let go.
Good luck.
2006-09-25 14:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it's on its way to doomedum.why would you marry him anyways. No Job, You make all the money.You want a house , that takes money , he has no job. Think about it before you walk the aisle with this one.You can always pay someone to clean your house. It's cheaper to order out , and schools have tutors to help the kids with their homework.
2006-09-25 14:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sell the computer. Or, have him get a job that deals with being on the computer, like.... routing truckers..my neighbor does that..he stays at home and plans out the truckers route and things... not hard work. infact..why am i not doing it?? crap. oh, i got a job, but it's not as easy at that...lol
2006-09-25 14:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by ღсяаՀу∙թіхіе∙ժմѕτღ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - if you have cold feet...that should tell you something. And it seems there are quite a few red flags. Pay attention to them.
2006-09-25 13:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Vanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kinda in the same situation but my boyfriend works and I am the one who will be leaving my job,but only to get away.if you are not happy,you need to get away and follow your heart,if not for you then for your kids,when they see you unhappy they can sence that.You need to be strong and do what you feel is best for them.good luck.
2006-09-25 14:10:16 · answer #6 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you live with the situation as you know it is going to be. That is the questions you need to ask your self and be honest . This is your life and you need to really explore and evaluate what is really important to you personally.
2006-09-25 14:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not for you. assume this is as good as it gets. If you cant handle it now you will not handle it in the future.
2006-09-25 13:59:13 · answer #8 · answered by En1gma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋