I had been with this girl of about a year before we broke up. We have been apart for about a year but in the last 3 or 4 months we have become closer. I told her that i still loved her and wanted to get back together but she said she just wants to be friends. She also said "its not that i dont want to, its that i cant". We have become even closer than before and i think she might like me but i cant quite tell. For example she came round on saturday and as soon as she got home she started talking to me on msn and on the phone. We see each other every day at college and get the same bus together in the morning and afternoon, so we have become really close but i cant tell. Any help?
2006-09-25 06:52:22 · 28 answers · asked by davemute1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason we broke up was that we kinda just fizzled out, but when i asked her out the first time she said no but then told me a few weeks later that she changed her mind and we were then together for about a year.
2006-09-25 07:01:54 · update #1
and she isnt seeing anyone
2006-09-25 07:03:12 · update #2
maybe she got hurt when you broke up the first time and is just playing it safe ..... whats for you won.t pass you by
2006-09-25 06:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by dalylorraine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. Get a different bus to and from college everyday. Don't answer the phone when she calls but if you do end the conversation quickly saying you've got to go and do something.
If she MSNs answer the next day, never the same day. Keep her waiting, keep her guessing, keep her wondering. Let her start to miss you and think about you.
Above all don't whine, winge, cringe, fawn all over her or tell her how you feel - women hate this. Women have an instinctive need to find a strong man to protect them, their children and their home. Whineing, wingeing, cringing, fawning men do not fulfill this need since such men are easily overcome by other men that do, which leaves women feeling vulnerable and insecure. This is why she just wants to be friends. You do not show you could meet her instinctive needs.
And don't chase her, you will only chase her away. Do not approach her. She will approach you if you follow the above. When she does. SMILE. Be very pleasant and polite and steer the conversation around to what YOU have been doing or planning. If she wants to talk about "us" move the conversation away quickly. After the conversation gets going say you have to go and leave immediately. The fundamental rule is to make sure you end the conversation and not her. Above all else, and this is most important, make her laugh, she will start to relax and loosen up and not feel under so much pressure.
The whole cycle will start all over again and will intensify if things are destined. If they are not, move on and never look back.
2006-09-27 02:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to answer this question thoroughly since you never told us anything about her Body language!!
Also age matters a lot. How old is she?
Why did she break up? Which brings us to her statement.. . What does the cryptic "its not that i dont want to, its that i cant". mean???
If you guys are closer than ever before, then why not ask her out on a group date or something.. Call her casually and ask her if she is ready to come over since a few of your friends are also meeting.. Make sure you have mutual friends over.
Also remember that proximity leads to familiarity and should not be confused with love.
I guess she is just playing safe. She may have had relationships that ended in a disaster. So get to know the real person in her. Then start going out together, first as a group then duet.. then as you graduate pop the question.
Let us know how you are doing..
2006-09-25 07:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by stillfreezing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the direct approach is best, just ask. But if that seems too bold for your liking, look for the following signs. Pay attention to your conversations with the person in question.
1) Does this person show a special interest in having a conversation with you and, once started, make an effort to keep that conversation going?
2) Has this person taken a sudden interest in your life and hobbies? This is a sure sign that he or she is interested in something.
3) Other elements of body language include frequent eye contact, holding your gaze and looking down before looking away.
4) Does the person you're wondering about just plain smile at you a lot?
Just remember, take each moment like it will be the last. This I feel will be a good start for you in knowing. Good Luck!!!!!!!
2006-09-28 17:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she may be trying I dont know why you broke up but just let things happen it might take some time but take it for what its worth and just enjoy each others company if you both want to get back together you will she just might still be hurting from the split up and might not be completely ready to get involved. I know we women send mixed messages well good luck and I hope you get back together.
2006-09-25 07:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A girls heart is really hard to tell what if you just give her a little more space and don't bring this question up for another month or two... i a girl can not stand boys who just keep going on about the b/f & g/f matter... give her more space for the time being and maybe a little later talk to her about this matter face to face Good Luck!! ^.~
2006-09-25 06:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by mel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does still like you that's obvious or she wouldn't still be in contact with you, but don't let her play you along. I think you must try and get an answer out of her about why she can't be with you again. Has she got another bloke already, is it friends or family putting pressure on her not to be with you again. I think you deserve an answer so that you know exactly where you stand, so you can decide whether to wait or to move on.
2006-09-25 06:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by GaryUKB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she told you why she can't be more than friends?
It sounds as if she's sending out all sorts of mixed messages, saying she just wants to be friends -- but then, it's not that she doesn't want to be more.
The key here is communication. I'd ask her point blank why she can't be more than friends and then exactly WHAT does she want in a relationship with you. Ask her to be as honest, clear and precise as she possibly can.
Then, LISTEN.
I really hope she's not playing you!
2006-09-25 07:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by pat z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe she is regretting her decision to just be friends? Did u ask her why she cant be more than friends? To know this would help. I would say she has feelings for you but is scared of something. Dont push the issue. You have done all you can now. She knows your feelings for her. Have patience. If it is meant to be then it shall be. Continue to be there for her until she opens up to you more.
2006-09-25 07:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Find out why "she can't." It may be something you can clear up, it may not. It does sound like she may still love you, but love isn't always enough to get back together. If there's something holding her back you both need to talk about it and figure out what to do.
2006-09-25 06:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by dontimaginetheyllallcometrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes she does.. if she is still talking to you and being nice and hanging out with you then she probably still likes you. Believe me i am the same way around a guy i just broke up with so good luck.
2006-09-25 06:56:46 · answer #11 · answered by tinkluvsnvrlnd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋