My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have a 3 year old. I also have an 8 year old from prior relationship. My husband and 8 year old had a relationship before I had 3 year old. 8 year old has ADHD, sometimes a behavior problem. My husband is a great father to my 3 year old, but hardly ever talks to my 8 year old. I know this is not right. he is a great husband, he works and I stay at home. I feel that it is getting worse. My son lives with us and visits his dad every other weekend. I wish he would treat him like my 3 year old. It is really tearing me up inside. I used to be a strong woman, now I just don't know anymore. Has anybody been in this situation? I know he loves him and when my 8 year old has a game he is always there. But at home behind closed doors, he doesn't play with him or talk to him. People will see them outside and say that he seems like a good stepfather, but they don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Please help?
2006-09-25 06:50:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Before you leave your husband, make certain that when you do leave all of the doubts about leaving have been answered.
Discuss everything with your husband because once the process of separation and divorce happens, there may be a point of no return and you may be leaving a good man.
So, my answer is to talk to him and satisfy all of your questions and disagreements fully, then decide. The fact you are here on yahoo answers asking that question shows there is doubt in your mind...
But, you must remember, I am a hopeless romantic and would always want to see people in love and living a happy and fruitful life.
2006-09-25 07:11:51 · answer #1 · answered by marnefirstinfantry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is in their life at all makes him seem like an amazing stepfather. But he's not their real dad, so really you shouldn't expect him to act like one. If anything it may even hurt him looking at the 8 year old. I'm sure he loves you more than anything but really, this should be a FATHER issue, he's doing everything he can without hurting himself emotionally for YOU and for the kid, so be glad he's even gotten that far. It's a part of you and someone else.......and that hurts, been there.....know how that feels........and there's only so much one can take before it overwhelms you so to me, it just sounds selfish to expect so much out of him. If he was acting like this toward the child YOU two have shared together, that's a different story........but to be perfectly honest, I think he's acting just normal, if not, saint-like for even being able to live around something as emotionally-heavy as that. Children from a prior relationship can be an extremely heavy amount of baggage on a new relationship. Know this one from experience.
2006-09-25 06:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is the type that may feel weird having another child around that is not really his child. I would talk to your husband about it and let him know how you feel. I have a feeling when your 8 year old gets older he will rebel against his stepfather because of the situation. He should have a weekend with just your 8 year old so they can kinda get a little closer and when he plays with your 3 year old he should include the 8 year old.
2006-09-25 07:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by Tinkerbelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just talk to him about spending more time with your 8 year old. Sometimes, it's hard for people to communicate with an ADHD child, much less one that's not their own. Just ask him to maybe take your child to a park and have a picnic, or even the zoo. Who knows? Maybe they will bond. But keep in mind that there will always be a wall between them because he's really not your childs father. Good luck!
2006-09-25 07:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-30 21:18:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and he will most likely not even know he was coming off like this, he will probably be shocked and change. This happened with us the minute I told my husband he made sure the situation changed.
2006-09-25 07:20:11 · answer #7 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are asking this question then in your heart you are unsure.you can always leave at a later date ,but if you leave while unsure you may not always be able to go back...err on the side of caution love is never perfect work with him if you can .we men can be rather dense occaisionally,so hang in there..
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