28 year old video gamer...I might leave him!?

Question

My b/f plays video games so much to the fact that I'm considering leaving him. At first he had no job so when I came home from work he would be playing video games all day--this made me mad. Now he working and since he cannot play video games during the day anymore, he wakes up early in the morning or sometimes in the middle of the night (3am, 4am, 5am) just to play his video games. Or he will wait until I'm busy doing something (taking shower, doing hair, washing dishes, cooking,sleeping) just to hop on his video games. He says if I don't want him playing video games, then I should find something for us to do. I told him I am not his damn entertainer, why can't he find ways to entertain himself or do something constructive with his free time? He also says that when if I'm busy doing something else like cooking, I shouldn't mind that he's playing the game but my issue is that everytime I turn around, he's on the damn video game! What would you guys do? Isn't he too old for this

Answer 1

There isn't anything wrong with playing video games as long as it is in moderation. If he is working and handling his business then he should be able to do something he enjoys on his time off, but he also has to understand that he needs to spend time with you as well. Explain to him that he needs to balance time with you and his video gams.

Answer 2

Hell, my husband is 39 and he is on his video games all the time. It gets worse when you try to say something and he never hears any of it because his mind is in the game. If you aren't going to get over it, leave. But it is a simple matter and I would leave someone for playing video games. Try getting into the games with him. Sometimes they are really fun. I play on line with my husband once in a while on his ww2 on line game. The guys on there are awesome, and make you feel very welcome. If you can't get into the games with him, find something else you two can do, or just leave him. Good luck.
I also don't understand why you get mad if you are busy doing things and he is on his game. Do you have things you like to do when you aren't busy? It is an addictive hobby.
My husband has always been an early riser. If he wants to spend his morning shooting Frenchman on line, I am fine with it. He gets up at 4 or 5 in the morning, as long as he doesn't wake me or the baby up, I am cool with it.

Answer 3

My personal experiences is that some people do become addicted,try weaning him of by planning other activities he enjoys. Give him an alternative u or the games and be ready to leave. I see it serious enough that it should be looked at from a professional level. With my grandchildren I limit the time they can play,and then insist they occupy their time doing something else. Good luck Curious 2006

Answer 4

If you are busy doing things, then why can't he fill up his time with video games? The important questions are: is he doing well at work? is he helping around the house? Is he putting aside time for the both of you, quality time? If you are spending quality time, without the videogames, then what does it matter that he plays all the time? If you werent spending time together, then ok. Have you discussed with him that it bothers you? Let him know that this is making you consider leaving him, then go from there.

Answer 5

I am 23 and I still like to get some gaming in every once in a while, but I would never let it come between me and my girlfriend. Maybe there is a game you can play together or if this is becoming too insane like you stated above, then give him a proposition - the games or you...

Answer 6

there is nothing wrong with playing video games in moderation. it could be 2 things: 1. he knows you hate when he plays video games so he tries to find time to play them when you are not around - sleeping, showering, etc. 2. he is becoming obsessed with the games and playing them is begging to interfere with his personal life and work.

if #1 is the problem, you need to lay off and let him have some time to play them, it's what he enjoys doing, so what is the big deal? if you are feeling like you are doing more then your share of the work, then let him know he needs to do some things around the house. if he is becoming obsessed then encourage him to seek help.

Answer 7

Well, I agree that he definitly has a problem! I have never heard of someone getting up at 3am to play games!! That is kind of childish and actually addict like behavior! Try doing things with him more, you don't have to be his entertainer, but try going out more, or rent movies and have movie nights. Maybe that would help?

Answer 8

i dont know if there is any way to get him to stop with the games i have 4 sons and a ex husband with the same problem they cant seem to stop its insane but as for being to old for this no he not there doesnt seem to be a cut off age your right you shouldnt have to find things to do together he could just shut off the game help you do the cooking or go for a walk with you anything but he has to want to do it i think there needs to be a 12 step program for video game addicts lol sorry no help just wanted to let ya know your not alone

Answer 9

i went through that with my ex husband, notice i said EX husband. i know how you feel, except mine wouldn't get a job. you can't change him, as long as those great games keep coming out he's going to keep playing. i would consider getting rid of him. my soon to be husband plays video games a few hours a day but while i'm taking a nap before work. when i tell him i'm up he'll stop playing. he needs to put you first or get out, no woman should feel ignored or like she's living with a kid

Answer 10

Regardless of whether it's normal or not this is obviously a problem for you.

Bottom line: You two need to compromise. He needs to play less video games and you need to make an effort to do things together. If he is unwilling to compromise it sounds like a dealbreaker.

Here is an idea. Try playing them yourself. When I started dating my wife she hated video games but I loved them. She made an effort to get to like them and now is as much of a gamer as I am. We both enjoy them and play together alot.

Hopefully this helps.