When the man i am in love with is telling me he loves me but, just doesnt' know what to do with it all...after one year. I am divorced with children...he loves me, them...yet ...he doesnt' know what to do with it all ...how or if to move forward. We all know what we know...isn't what we dont' know ironically "the answer for him" ..I don't know..means no..he just cant accept that and doesnt want to let go yet...knows inside this is not right. What do you think?
2006-09-25 05:21:39 · 31 answers · asked by givemeprivacy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound smart, logical and intuitive. I totally trust your views on this. You're right. He DOES know, he just is in the comfort zone and not willing to commit or leave. Sorry. Sorry for you and your kids both. I hope you find a man who can deliver. Again, sorry and wishing you the best.
2006-09-25 05:25:35 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows he cares about you. He knows he wants you to be safe and happy. It's only been one year. Some guys take there time in falling in love to the point of marriage.
If I were you I wouldn't be intimate with any guy as a single mom. I would date but that's it. If you have already been intimate with him you should stop and tell him that you have given him too much already and that you need more from him to continue this relationship on that level. If he cares for you at all he will understand this request. You need to know you have something more with this man than sex.
Give him some time to figure out what he wants. Ask him point blank where he sees the relationship going... cut you loose if he can honestly say that he feels there is nothing there worth pursuing.
There are many things you can ask a guy to get the answers you need. The most important thing in getting the answers is being able to accept the answers. The guy has to know that you care enough about him to want him to be happy too...even if it's not with you.
2006-09-25 17:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by chance_ghost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't, Guys are different with there feelings. They get scared when something inside of them feels like a feeling towards someone else. He might not really know what he wants or why he's feeling the way he is feeling. Usually you can tell if a man means 'they don't know' and thats if they really aren't caring for the situation. You know your man and what type of guy he is, just give him some time and see what he does and how he acts, if it changes then be careful.
2006-09-25 05:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a VERY LITERAL person and unfortunately I've fallen under being naive and stoopid for accepting people's answers like that. I feel that people should be honest and tell the truth. Wake UP Dr. Education!!!; that's not how all people are. I don't have time to look in the eyes, check out body language to see if people are lying.
When I say YES I mean yes, don't ask me again.
When I say NO I mean no, don't ask me again.
When I say I DON'T KNOW, it's because I really don't know.
When I say NOTHING, I'm really thinking of nothing. The ZEN moment.
2006-09-25 05:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, men mean exactly what they say most of the time. The more intense the emotion, the closer to the "truth". He REALLY doesn't know.
I think it is time for you to get into the driver's seat of the vehicle of your relationship. Take the wheel of decision and give him the choice of one of two roads: "He grows up to be the children's father figure and your partner in life" or "He leaves".
What is important at this point in time is that your children do not suffer because of his indecisiveness. Being a father figure is a huge responsibility and not everybody can do it. It's time to grow bigger shoulders, or move on.
2006-09-25 05:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think so to your first question. My husband used to say, "If you hesitate, you have decided not to do something." I don't know what kind of obligations he has already or what he's been through. It's not fair to you or the kids if he is comfortable with the way things are and essentially using you without making a commitment. I wish you the best. You have to figure this out on your own--if you want to live this way or try to live with a loss and upheaval of breaking up a relationship.
2006-09-25 05:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, its scarey for the poor guy......you went and had children with some miserable pr*ck that you divorced.....you made your choice in life and will forever be known as one of those single moms that is trying to trick some other guy into stepping into the role of dad. You won't find too many men that want a ready made family. So many men want to make sure they have a way out of a situation like yours.
2006-09-25 05:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In love, if they say I don't know, they at this time don't love you. That might not mean that in the future they won't. it means as of now, other things are more important
I just recieved a call from a woman I have known since I was 14. We do really love one another.
2006-09-25 05:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely knows but doesn't want to hurt you...move on!! You need someone that knows they love you for sure. When men are in love they know...if they say they don't know, then they don't want to really be with you and are too afraid to let you go or hurt you.
2006-09-25 05:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by skeptical 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be thinking that marriage is a huge step and he's not sure if he wants to do it yet because he wants to make sure he is ready to get married when he makes his vows. Maybe he wants to make sure and you shouldn't pressure him. Let him decide. In the meantime, you have him in your life and he does love you so it's all good.
2006-09-25 05:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋