I have been with him for almost 5 years and the last two he has gotten into drugs. He knows he has a problem but really doesn't want help. He thinks he can beat this on his own. I am pretty deep into our relationship and have made my last stand. Either he gets help or I'm gone. I understand only he can help himself but I'm growing concerned for his safety and the safety of his family. What is the best way to handle the situation?
2006-09-25 04:46:22 · 24 answers · asked by visjac 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
The principle of unconditional love is this, "Start loving yourself, and you will start to love others unconditionally, in return others will start to love themselves, but if others still cant love themselves and you are carrying the burden of loving them then remember that you love yourself first."
Get out of this relationship while you can, if your BF still showing the arrogance of not needing help, then he is hopeless, dont go down with him you dont deserve a person like him.
May the light of the Lord shine upon you!!
2006-09-25 05:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by Warhorse X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on experience with some friends who have struggled for years with drugs, I can tell you that recovery is extremely difficult and most often doesn't happen unfortunately. The guy usually has to hit rock bottom before they start making the turn and even then they often have relapses.
The bottom line is addiction is a selfish thing and hurts everyone involved with the addict. The guy needs to really really want to change or he won't. The addiction is so powerful that only a will that is as powerful as a will to live can beat it.
If you stick with this guy, know that you will go through years of trouble. If he hasn't yet started selling or pawning his/your stuff to get a hit, prepare for it.
With drug addiction, you have to practice a very tough love or you become an enabler and he will never even hope of getting better. You have to let them crash and burn if that is where they are going. Protect yourself and your emotions and step back and make him earn your love. If he doesn't even think there's a problem yet, you guys are way way at the beginning of this nasty cycle.
2006-09-25 04:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by MickYahoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my kids father for almost 8 years. He has drank the last 5 since my daughter was born, but not in front of the kids. The last 2 years I have found out that he has started using cocaine once agian. (he used before we got to gether). I tried everything to help him. Called meetings, went to counseling, etc...left him...the only thing that is beginning to work is to let himself go and get into deep trouble. That is the only way he will learn He doesn't care what we think etc. The drugs have control over him right now and he honestly is not himself. To this day he is getting better, but it took jail 5 times 3 rehabs and 15,000 dollars in fines....good luck
if u ever need to talk just e-mail me..
2006-09-25 08:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do for BOTH him AND you is for you to leave. He probably will only then realize how much this drug addiction has ruined his life, and will have no other choice but to get help. If he ever wants to have a girlfriend again, he will need to keep clean of drugs.
2006-09-25 04:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage being clean & sober but realize . . . he is living on a different planet ( one with lots of sewage ) and you will pay if you are too close. Severly limit any personal contact when he's high and only very short phone calls. Tell him he can call when he returns to this planet but tolerate ZERO BS. Move rapidly in the opposite direction. You can't do anyone any good if you get in the sewer too.
2006-09-25 05:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if he does not WANT help, he can not BE helped.
But when he is good and ready to receive help, you should be prepared.
I STRONGLY recommend Teen Challenge.
My wife and I were counselors at our local branch of Teen Challenge for a number of years, and the fact is that 85 to 95 percent of all Teen Challenge graduates remain clean. Compare that with the statistics of state-run or private-run counseling programs, in which 15 to 25 percent remain clean, and the only reasonable answer is to go with Teen Challenge.
2006-09-25 04:56:22 · answer #6 · answered by no1home2day 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you will support him if he will quit, but you're gone if he doesn't. Your story is really weird to me cause early this year I left my now ex after 5 years. He got busted dealing about 6 months before the break up. If he won't get help or stop, leave. It'll hurt but if he doesn't stop, its going to hurt you even worse. Tell him that when he gets it together, maybe you can try again as a couple but do whats best for you. You can be his friend. You know what you need to do, and it's going to hurt.
2006-09-25 04:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by beweird22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could find information at http://narconon.org
It's an associacion that has many Narconon places around the world and it helps drug addicts get out of drugs and have a much better life and it really works! You should really go take a look at the website!! I really hope it helps you to help him!!
2006-09-25 05:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by daia750 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made the best decision for yourself. Think about yourself. Unfortunately the life of a drug addict is populated with relapse after relapse in most cases. This advice is based only on statistics: get out of this relationship. Your decision of course. I am sorry this happened to him.
2006-09-25 04:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My other half went through that. He was strung out on marijuana, LSD and some form of opiates, not heroin. He had to hit rock bottom.
We had 2 children together and I left him. He didn't know where to find me. He had to pull out of it in order to communicate with the best things in his life.
There are three major vices for people: Drugs, Alcohol and Religion. It is helpful to interchange one with the other. Lets say to go from one-Drugs, to another, religion. Sometimes they go nuts with religion, but it is better than them being high. It is also long-lasting and will be a longterm solution. It gives them a reason to live.
I hope everything goes well with your loved one.
2006-09-25 04:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for "tough love". Find a drug rehab and get him in--whether he wants to or not. The internet and even the yellow pages are a good source of how to proceed. Hospitals, clergy are also helpful. GET HIM IN!! He'll thank you for it someday and you will have a future together--otherwise, he is just going to spiral down, and leave his loved ones asking "why"? JUST DO IT!!
2006-09-25 04:54:07 · answer #11 · answered by Thomas M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋