abusive spouse?

Question

My husband recently hit me...he broke 2 of my ribs....pulled my hair and punched me in my tummy....I had problems breathing so when he was at work the next day....I went to see a doctor who had my xray done and told me I had broken ribs. My husband is in the military and threatened to take my kids away if I told anyone ...WHAT CAN I DO?

Thank you everyone. I am about to call the Military Police....he has done this to me for 4 years now ...and now its his time to pay.

Answer 1

you needed to report that to your Dr. and with that type of behavior he will have a hard time getting the kids....

Answer 2

First, I understand the pain that you are going through as an abused military wife. My exhusband was in the Navy and I had similar problems to yours. Don't go to his commanding officer or anyone related to the military, they all take up for each other and don't have your best interest at heart. IF and only if you are serious about leaving him (for the safety of you and your children), here is what you should do:
1. Secretly gather evidence against him. When you go to the doctor, tell him who did this to you and make sure that there is a written note about it. Have a friend or family member take pictures of the injuries he has caused you (use a digetal camera if possible). File a police report. The more you have against him the worse he will look in court ( for custody and criminal charges).
2. Take a 50-B out on your husband. This is a restraining order to keep him at least 250 feet away from you and the children. The order will include where you work, church, the children's school, and any other place you can think of. He will not be able to contact you by phone, mail, or any other means. If he does, turn him in and it's an automatic 30 days in jail. The 50-B will go in effect immediately and you will have to go to court to have it continued for a year. Bring the pictures, this will help your case. If you tell them that you can't pay for the 50-B they will waive the cost for you.
3. Find a safe place that you and your children can go. Find a relative or friend that will keep your location a secret. Try to find a place where he can't find you.
Of course you will need to contact social services so they can give you resources such as financial help, food stamps, and emergency housing or section 8 (rent/mortgage based on income). They can also get you in touch with other community resources, such as counseling or a battered womens shelter.
I hope this has been helpful

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you have to go thru this. I went thru this a few years ago and it took getting the back of my head cracked to realize I had to get out. Find somewhere safe to go and the first thing you need to do is get a restraining order. That will protect you and your kids even family. The courthouse should waive the fee if you cant afford it. I was a stay at home mom at the time and had no money but you can find a good legal aid attourney if money is a problem. If not just get a lawyer and start custody proceedings. The best thing is that you will already have the children and they will be safe. Also you will need the proof from your doctor as the other people have told you in the other answers. That will be one of the most important thing you will need. Dont worry if he drags your name thru the mud and tries to say you are an unfit mother. Thats the only way he could take the kids away is if you were unfit and trust me he has to prove that. First and most important tho- get out while he is away. I moved out while my ex was at work. I got a small storage space and got as much of mine and my childrens things that I could while he was gone. When it starts getting that bad to where he is seriously hurting you Im afraid to say no matter how much you think he will change he wont and it will get worse possibly fatal. Good Luck and be safe.

Answer 4

My best friend went through this exact same thing.YOU have no rights and HE has all of them,simply because he is in the military and they will back him up.My friends husband was in the Air Force,abused her and her children for years with many of the incidents documented by the on base police.She took all her proof in to court.The first time she lost custody of her oldest child,the next year she lost her second one.The only thing bad he had to say about her as a mother that once when the oldest swore,she put tabasco sauce on her tongue as a reminder that swearing wasn't acceptable.A far cry from physical abuse.After he raised a shovel to hit his youngest with it,she stepped in and took the blow herself.She fled for the safety of her children and he tried to pin kidnapping charges on her,she was in a shelter at that time.I was in court with her every time and couldn't believe that something like this could actually happen in this country.
Make sure you document EVERYTHING.She reported his abuse to his commander and his response was,so what,he is allowed to do whatever he wants.The whole situation was very sad and my friend has never been the same since losing her children.I sure hope things turn out better for you,my heart goes out to you.

Answer 5

Did you tell the doctor it was your husband or did you tell him you fell like got hurt falling off a latter or something ? See the problem is that if you didn't tell the doctor then there is no documented proof. Make sure you tell a counseling agency about your husband, Don't be afraid to let the authorities know. Documented and previous incidents are best for you, because it shows proof. Don't worry, no court will award your children to an abuser. Please get help quick, these matters only get worse, not better.

God Bless

Answer 6

You should take legal action. He can't take your kids away if you can prove he is abusive. What did you tell your doctor happened? If you told your doctor that your husband did this then you have all the proof you need. Take pictures of any brusies. You really need to get out of any relationship that you have been abused in. I know that probably not something you want to hear but it would be best for you and your kids. Cause the next time he could take it out on your kids.

Answer 7

call the SP's..they will remove him from the house and he will be ordered not to return while the investigation goes on. If he does def orders, he will be arrested and detained or forcibly held in quarters. Your next step is to call the family advoacacy program on your base as well as the legal office. Have them help you work out an exit plan..a way to leave him. And know that the courts would not give custody of your children to an abusive husband. I would also be sure to request copies of all your medical records...you may need and or want them when you take the bastard to divorce court.

Answer 8

You need to contact the army family advocacy program on the base that you are living or the next one to you and let them know about your situation and they will take care of it. You can also call his commander and tell him about your situation but be aware that once your commander its aware he will call the MP's and jag and your husband will be persecuted and must likely kicked out of the Army. You need to get away from him and the MP's will take care of that as far as your kids he cant take them away from you and actually you can use the military issue against him in court since soldiers are never home, constantly deployed or they work long hours and on that schedule it will be very hard for him to be the sole caregiver of your children even if they go to school or daycare. Whatever you do please be safe and stay away from that man.

Answer 9

That son of a *****! How dare he?
First of all, you have to report him, definitely report him. Go to your doctor, and tell him, get a medical report and then go to the police. Make a complaint and divorce the bastard. The law usually takes the mother's side in custodies, so you have many chances to win. Divorce the asshole! Mother ******* dirtbag! He has no right to hit you, and he should not be allowed to take the kids. Make a scandal, report, but don't just stand there and do nothing. If this doesn't work, kill him.

Answer 10

talk to his commanding officer show him the x-rays and tell him what happened take your kids to a safe place during this so that you know where they are at but he doesn't. They shouldn't see this, but you need to talk to someone. The military doesn't tolerate that and he won't get the kids because he would be living alone, if he is lucky he will still be a soldier and he won't be able to have the kids in case he has to go to Iraq. GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SITUATION!!! don't let him push you around and scare you. Be strong and independant and leave his sorry ***

Answer 11

You can go to his commanding officer. Beyond poplar belief the military does from on things like that. I would also make sure that his is documented with you doctor and I would talk with an attorney and find out what legal recourse he has if any at getting the children. If there are skeletons in your closet this is the time to get rid of them.