You can say I know this person through the six degrees rule. but I know for a fact drugs are involved and the children are in harms way. my fear is that if she finds out it is me that reports her -retaliation. I live in a very nice n'borhood and I dont believe she knows where i live. i have children myself and am not in the drug scene. her children are filthy. Stupidly, i let her borrow almost 100 dollars which i will never see again, but money is not the issue with me, it is the kids. i want to get protection for them. they are not going to have a life and are already in the system for being taken from her but does the system really work???? you hear of all these kids being taken away from parents who do not deserve it or it was a misunderstanding but this is no way a misunderstanding, I saw it. I need advice. plz don't reply i was stupid for giving her the $$. I paid her rent on certain times and I took food to the kids to see how they were doing. kids are main concern.
2006-09-25 04:00:25 · 47 answers · asked by childprotector01 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For those you that are saying if i was worried about it and not be on here typing about. ( JBear) I called this morning as soon as the office opened and before i ever signed on to my computer. Getting online was the last thing i was thinking about doing. After I called, I was researching and found this forum and wanted support for what I had done and used the hypothetical as the question to determine. All but 2 or 3 of the answers i got were exactly what I was thinking and the others were just short, no thought answers. I adore children and have plans and thoughts going into opening up centers to take care of underpriviledged children ofr single mothers who want to work and make something of themself and take care of their familes but cant afford daycare. And for those who are misunderstood, I did not have to give my name, only the county where I was calling from. but details I had to give, if given person in question would identify me. Please pray for the children and thank you!
2006-09-25 04:23:50 · update #1
For those you that are saying if i was worried about it and not be on here typing about. ( JBear) I called this morning as soon as the office opened and before i ever signed on to my computer. Getting online was the last thing i was thinking about doing. After I called, I was researching, found this forum and wanted support for what I had done and used the hypothetical as the question to determine. Thank you all for your answers! And yes, in my state, drug abuse will get your kids taken away. I adore children and have plans and thoughts going into opening up centers to take care of underpriviledged children of single mothers who want to work and make something of themself and take care of their familes but cant afford daycare. And for those who are misunderstood, I did not have to give my name, only the county where I was calling from. But details I had to give, if given person in question would identify me. Please pray for these kids and thank you so much for your kind words!
2006-09-25 04:37:37 · update #2
For those you that are saying if i was worried about it and not be on here typing about. ( JBear) I called this morning as soon as the office opened and before i ever signed on to my computer. Getting online was the last thing i was thinking about doing. After I called, I was researching, found this forum and wanted support for what I had done and used the hypothetical as the question to determine. Thank you all for your answers! And yes, in my state, drug abuse will get your kids taken away. I adore children and have plans and thoughts going into opening up centers to take care of underpriviledged children of single mothers who want to work and start a career and take care of their familes but cant afford daycare. And for those who are misunderstood, I did not have to give my name, only the county where I was calling from. But details I had to give, if given to the person in question would identify me. Please pray for these kids and thank you so much for your kind words!
2006-09-25 04:40:25 · update #3
im sorry, im new to this just like you all were in the beginning! :) just ignore all the other details except the last one b4 this one. the kids are not of school age they are 2 and 4. i dont know the kids well enough to take them in. they have been neglected for so long that they are disfunctional as well. their aunt (this person's sister) raised them for about 9 months while the mother was in jail) it is all just a mess and I was the only one she had left to turn to because everyone else knows how she is and i do too, but when someone tells me my kids need to eat, being a mother, my heart melts. I took food, shampoo, clothes, etc. and the money. I mention that only because that is what i did... i never expected to get it back she had none when she asked me so why would she have some to pay me back. i know the money is going for drugs and the kids are smack dab right in the middle of it. the last time i met her to give $, kids reeked of poop & it had been there awhile.
2006-09-25 04:51:49 · update #4
Anyone who would read this and even consider the money an object is a fool. I can tell you from experience you can report and not leave a name, call from a pay phone, tell them you will not leave your name but if they are really in the best interest of the child they will check on this situation. Let them know that you feel the children do not eat at times and they are dirty and you feel they are not safe.
Good Luck that is a lot of stress on you to have to go through that because sorry to say the state leaves lots of kids in bad situations.
2006-09-25 04:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by kirsten215 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad for you and your neighbour. I myself had a problem with drugs and had two kids 5 and 7. I was a heroin addict (a functioning junkie) I went to work and paid the bills and cared for the kids till it was more important for me to get high. I am now in recovery almost 2 yrs. I had also been in child services as a teenager my experience was not good. Maybe it is different for small children. Had a neighbour or anyone for that matter known what was going on with me at the time, and called on me maybe I would have gotten my act together. The hardest part in all of this really is if there is drugs involved. My suggestion is not to enable her NO MONEY she will use it for the drugs no matter what she tells you it is for. If you feel the kids are hungry maybe then just buy the food for them (that's still enabling) but its hard to watch kids go hungry. Don't be scared to do the right thing, you are involved try talking to her, if you are frightened for your safety after you call get a restraining order. HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT!
2006-09-27 07:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kindness is wonderful- yet reality check-Okay- The money is gone- your right its not a issue, yet it made you mad.
Your action are for your well being and its "enabling" that parent and not really helping the children. Those kids are the symptom of the addiction. The entire unit needs help, not money.
Go directly to a BIG Church for help. It is against the law to "not" report abuse of children or senors.to the authorities Police, Fire Department or Child protective services.
The school they attend must have a record of this and will be a resource to help for these kids.
Those kids will be put with a foster family or a qualified family member or its a serious "WAKE UP CALL" that she will loose her kids if she doesn't change her way.
If you are really concerned about them, get advice from a child advocate attorney. They will best advise you. Including options for being a Foster mother yourself.
I would highly recommend, staying away from this situation, it is only going to escalate and I would NEVER endanger my kids that way. Honey, Junkies get "stupid smart" to get what they want and your listed on the 411 system and phone book, that's easy to track down. Best wishes.
2006-09-25 04:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's the drugs you are worried about, then butt out. If they aren't eating, or completely filthy, then I'd call social services. Abuse comes in many forms, but drug use is not an excuse and judges will give kids back to their parents. If the children are starving, that can lead to a fatality (and some kids could have been saved if someone would have cared enough to call)
2006-09-25 04:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard, because you know that when you do report, you will be disrupting a family. But if you know beyond any doubt that there are issues involving harm, such as no food, or absent parents, or living in filth, then the children need help. Taking them out doesn't only disrupt the household, but gets services for the children that they need, such as medical care, education planning, and food needs.
Be aware though, that yes, if this person knows you semi-well, then the things that are told her that were reported, she probably will know it came from you. It's all about what you can live with.
2006-09-25 04:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by moonshadow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reporting her to the local government should be the absolute last resort. These agencies are underfunded and are only effective in the most severe cases.
Will they really be better off as wards of the state or in foster care? Most often they aren't unless the home life is really dangerous.
If you really care about the kids, the best thing you can do is try to help them (the kids) directly. Feed them. Give them what they need. Show them that your house can be a safe place for them if they need it. Don't let the irresponsible adult milk you for your money, though.
2006-09-25 04:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by kurtrisser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you call you will not be reported to her. You will remain anonymous. They will investigate and if they feel the children are in danger they will take them out. She will be given a chance to get the children back but not and until she does what they expect from her. That may be parenting classes something like AA what ever else they think needs to be put into place. They will give a family member a chance to get the children if there is one who can. Don't hesitate if these children are in danger call now.
2006-09-25 04:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by jane d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once read a story about how a lady in the same situation you were in was going to report a familly for the way they treated thier children. The children ended up dieing or getting killed i dont remember but the lady wished she would have told someone so that the children could still be alive. If you think it is that bad than you should do something you might save thier lives.
2006-09-25 04:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sentient6 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should report her. She will not know who turned her in. If the children are being neglected,,wouldnt you want then to be with people who will love them and care for them the way they should be. If shes an unfit mother then she should get herself together without her kids,,and work her way back to getting them back. If at all possible. Dont wait if you feel that theres a serious issue going on.
2006-09-25 04:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are a mother with children of your own, it's in your nature to feel for any child out there that is being neglected, and from what you are asking I know your heart is telling you to do the right thing. Because if you don't do anything knowing this is going on, believe me when I say you're going to feel as if it is your fault if something bad (God forbid) happens to these Kids.
2006-09-25 04:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by sydneluraka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋