My ex-girlfriend is my best friend, and we still love eachother, but we also know it can't work at the moment, so we are content with being friends. The problem is that she has been pretty much ignoring me, i ask her about it and she doesn't seem to understand what i am talking about, and since we are just gonna be friends for now we try not to show the other the type of emotion or attention that may be considered to be more than friendly. She seems to think i am doing just that, problem being that i treat just like i do the rest of my friends, but because she thinks i am trying to be more still instead of backing off like we agreed, she is getting mad at me and ignoring me, she says we are friends but she don't hang around with me and when she does she acts like its a burden to her, like she shouldn't, and its hard to watch her walk around with her other friends and talk and laugh and carry on like lifes great and completly ignore me, i don't even know how to react anymore, help pls
2006-09-25 03:32:39 · 17 answers · asked by William R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She undoubtedly still has an emotional attachment to you (feelings that a girlfriend has)... & when she sees you, those feelings keep surfacing, & it makes her angry.
It's harder for women to back off emotionally, because we are generally more emotional than men... it's harder for women to be just friends, especially after having been intimate.
She's apparently upset because of the struggle with her emotions... a strong emotional attachment to break free from... also the physical attachment (desire) to deal with... it could drive her nutty.
Sometimes we have to back off entirely, in order to keep ourselves from having more than just the friendship feelings... sometimes we can't be just friends (or even be friends at all) because the emotional and/or physical attachment is just too strong... too much to deal with.
It definently sounds like she's trying to get over you (as a boyfriend)... doesn't want to hurt you, so she's trying to be nice about it... but it's not working out for her that way.
Just try to understand her, back away even more, give her lots of time & space... then see what happens.
If she doesn't want to continue having a relationship with you after that, then you'd be better off going in a totally different direction.
I wish oceans of peace for you.
2006-09-25 04:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your ex needs some time and space in order to re-define the limits of your friendship. The intimiacy that you shared as a romantic couple is not easy to simply put aside and she may want a little more distance and seperation in order to allow those romantic issues to fade. Here's the thing, if you keep making her angry and are not listening and accepting what she is telling you then you may loose her friendship completely. Back off for a while, give her some time and space (and yourself too for that matter) and see if that doesn't ease the tension between you. Loves and friendships ebb and flow just think of this time as an ebb and renew your other friendships. Hang out with your other friends, enjoy their company and when the time is right things will shape up for you and your ex.
2006-09-25 10:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by sharpwittedfl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away from her...You need to treat her like a neighbor...Don't be rude, but don't make any attempt to find her, call her, follow her or show her any undue attention at all... It if obvious that she is looking for space and does not want your attention or affection right now. The best thing to do is give her just that. She will probably get mad at you for it in the long run, and want to know why your are being rude. Don't touch her, say hi to other people first, if you hug other girls normally, go up to them and give them a hug, but do not give her one, just say hi and move on. One of two things will come from this...She will either come around and want your attention back or she will finally be relieved that you are leaving her alone. If she is relieved, move on with your life...it will be a sure sign it is time to let go...
2006-09-25 10:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously want this chick back as your partner. The best way to do this is to back off and give her the space that she's asking for.
In the meantime, go to the gym, get some new clothes and hang out with your friends. Meet some new girls.
At the moment your behavior is quite "clingy" - this is very unattractive and repellent.
People want what they can't have normally, if something comes to easily it's not worth much.
2006-09-25 10:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by Rock On I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is trying to go on with her life and meet new people,and that is being given more priority over spending allot of time with you.Its very difficult for people who have been romantically involved to then make a 360 degree turn and become best buddies.You need to give her some space and a little time.You are being way to possessive about her time and this may be perceived as you wanting to get back with her.You need to stop appearing so desperate and needy this is repelling her from you and having the opposite desired affect.Stop calling her,stop asking her to spend time with you and start focusing on moving on with your life,meet new people get a hobby etc,if you continue to obsess about someone who doesn't want to be with you,it will only cause you grief.
2006-09-25 10:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off, give her the space she wants. She wants to remain friendly, not be best friends with you. It sounds like you want a closer friendship than she does. Listen to the lady, shes made it plain where she stand, but if its hard on you to watch her socialize, you may still have feelings for her of a more than just-friends nature that she is picking up on and is uncomfortable with.
2006-09-25 10:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being friends with your ex never seems to work for anyone. My suggestion to you would be that you should try just being friends, for you said that she was your best friend. I think this may be why she is pulling away from you, beacause she wants to only be friends and you want to be best friend. So just give her some space and let her breath and if this friendship is that important to both of you, things will work out.
2006-09-25 10:41:19 · answer #7 · answered by Channing W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to remain friends after you have had a romantic relationship. It appears to me that her definition of what your relationship should be right now and yours differ. You may need to just back off completely and see if she gives yoiu any kind of contact or response. It may well be that you will need to do the hardest thing......let her go down the road and move on, yourself.
2006-09-25 10:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is extremely hard to be friends with your ex. as someone always has stronger feeling. Perhaps you should just give her some space and let her call you instead of you initiating the contact
2006-09-25 10:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tricky one i might suggest a change of scenery so to speak if she reacts like its a burden to be with you give her the choice !! like only if you want to be here !! perhaps if you went off with a different group of friends !! the trouble is we are males and we are not supposed to understand females or them us but if you react very similar as though life is great just wait and perhaps see her reaction then !! maybe it will work out for both of you !!! just advice
cowboy5
2006-09-25 10:45:20 · answer #10 · answered by cowboy5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋