Need to leave this relationship!!!?

Question

i have been in a relationship with this guy for 1 1/2 years. our realtionship is not a healthly one. we rarely get along. it's just that we have a lot together. we got a car together a dog together and 6 mths into the relationship i moved in. (big mistake) lately we have gotten into drugs and are only nice to e/o when we are getting high. doesn't help either. i just want to either get the realtionship better or leave but i find it very hard b/c of eveything that we have together. i am miserable. Reasonable advice please.

Answer 1

Everything that you think you have is not at all worth keeping because of the cause itself. Let me make more sense of this for you. For every cause there is an effect. The effect may be positive or negative. You determine those results by your actions. Where you are today is because of the choices you decided to make. Now that you realize that the things that you have done do not add up to the results you want, then it is time to start eliminating the things that don't make you happy.

You need to love yourself first. You are far more important than drugs and material things. You decided your own fate.

Answer 2

Well, i could provide advice from two perspective. Let me start with the 'good guy' view. You definitely need to leave this relationship. You might have done alot with him, for him and - without him. Taking drugs together is really romantic but it's not worth it, exchanging 'pleasure' at the risk of health? Who started it does not matter, have you quit drugs? Sometimes, doing things that hurt him (quiting drugs) is better than doing things that hurt everyone.

Everyone realise what they have done wrong only when something is not right. It's natural to feel confused. Did so much things for 1 1/2 yrs. Then leaving each other? It's just not worth it. But is the separation nessessary?

From the neutral point of view. You gotta make the choice yourself, or even with you bf. Asking him on what to do might help. Or even threaten him, ask him to stop drugs or you will leave. If that guy is still taking drugs, it's right of you to leave him.

Nice to e/o when high on drugs? I would wonder if you even knew that the person opposite you is your bf or gf. This kind of 'being nice' is definitely not appreciated.

The most important thing in a relationship consists of the most confusing things when NOT in a relationship.
Love vs Health?
Leaving vs Love?

When something this serious ends, you might feel that it might not worth it, or you should get back or super miserable, super sad. Everyone feels this way. Let alone being in a relationship.

I hope my answer will help. The question is 'Why am I with him?' and i think not 'Should I leave him?'.

Answer 3

Cut your losses and be a big girl. What is your other choice...to stay together forever because you have a car?
You are miserable. You need to get out.
That is the chance you always take when getting into a relationship. Relationships end. Sometimes you own a car together, sometimes a house, sometimes you have children. But when the relationship turns bad, and you are miserable, you have to do what is best for you.
And the break-up isn't going to be easy, especially if there are a lot of drugs involved. Inlist the help of your friends, family, or a therapist.

Answer 4

I'm going to be blunt - please don't be offended.
You're hung up on material things when it comes to breaking it off. Unless you can find a way to divide the car and dog, you'll have to consider writing them off. Once you have that settled, the rest should be easy. You already KNOW you're in an unhealthy relationship where everything else is concerned, so get out. The biggest disfavor you could do to yourself is to stay in a relationship ONLY because the basis is material. However, if there is an emotional attachment left, the problem becomes a little more complex. Sometimes people stay in unhealthy relationships because they're afraid of change. If that is also an obstacle for you, consider seeking professional counseling.
Hope this helps a little.

-Chrystaille

Answer 5

This relationship is not going to get better. This is not going to be easy, because of the situation, but here's what I think:

First, you need to stop using; not just because it is bad for you and the relationship, but because you need to start saving some money. If you are serious about getting out, you are going to have to struggle for a little bit. Sell the car and pay it off. You might have to put in some of your own money, but that's too bad. Decide who gets to keep the dog, if it turns into a fight, it's better to give up the dog so you can get out of the relationship. You also need to find another place to move. If you have family or friends, ask if you can stay with them for about six months until you get back on your feet. Do not stay with anyone who is doing drugs. If you don't have anyone, you are going to have to save some money to get your own place. You might also consider going into rehab. None of this is going to be fun and you might be broke for a while, but when you come out on the other side, you will see your old self again. You need to leave this relationship or you will not survive.

Don't make the mistake of staying in this because it is easier than dealing with the crap you have together. That is a cop out.

Answer 6

Well baby 1st I feel for you. My advice is you have to sit a talk calmly communication is were you need to be to solve your problems don't say things to one another without thinking about it.When people argue there is a lot said that is not meant. And give up the drugs It will lead to only trouble for both of you down the road. I know did drugs for 30 yrs and am clean for almost 2 yrs now. They will ruin you. Take the drug money and do things together this will help reinforce the bond your seeking.I would say if this is not something you both can agree to. I would have to move on. Material things can be replaced but your life cannot. Use care and my God be with you.

Answer 7

It sounds like you want to get out but don't know where to start. There is no easy fix here, unfortunately. You will need to talk together, either about fixing what's wrong with the relationship or about disentangling yourselves.

Think about it first and decide whether you want out once and for all. If you do, then think about what you need to do to accomplish that. Can you move out? Can you get a loan to buy out his share of the car, or can he buy you out? Is the dog more his or yours, who does the dog prefer? It will be a lot easier to move forward if you've thought it out beforehand and made some decisions or a plan.

Answer 8

Come to me baby, ill be nice and good to you and we will do drugs together. (lol:jus kiddin)

Its simple be strong a tell him to change else you are gonna walk away and if he doesnt change then do it. Let him have him the car and the dog, you can get another one, just staying with him so that you dont lose a little money is a big mistake. So have courage and move on.

Answer 9

I am in a very similar relationship as you. i read this and was like omg did i write this or is it someone else? crazy. we have been togather for 1.5 years...get high we are cool otherwise no. we have 2 cats and a car not yet paid off and we live together....damn... lately we have been doing better. i dont know why, all i know is we love each other and we will make it work... crazy how the same we are though...hope you work it out...

Answer 10

get with someone who is going to be good for you! He is a bad boy that 90% chance he will not make anything of himself..find some you can relate to...did he get you involved in drugs?? or was it you who started it?? its doesn't really matter...your realtionship will be more complicated if you get pregnate right??