My husband and I have been asked to be Godparents for friends that we are already godparents for,( their first child is our god son).Here is my situation, My husband is Mexican and I am not, the couple are both Mexican, my husband says that once they ask you to be God parents you can not say no out of respect, my problem is I can't afford to do it. In the Mexican culture, the GP buy the clothes, pay the church, help make the party and buy a special gift. I have 3 kids of my own to take care of.I want to hear from Mexicans, what would happen if we said no?
2006-09-25 03:13:44 · 6 answers · asked by nosiner 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thanks for this piece of information on Mexican culture. I didn't know godparents had to do all these things. I thought they were supposed to take care of the kids if anything happened to the parents, and to buy presents for the kid's birthday and Christmas!
Anyway. I'm French, so don't know how they would react. But you should definitely tell them that you can't do it. You can't really deprive your own kids for a ceremony, can you? What's more, they are friends! They are not even part of the family! And you are already godparents for one of their kids.
2006-09-25 06:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Offkey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not Mexican, so I can't assume to know what their reaction might be. But if it's the custom in Mexico just as your husband describes it, it's possible they could be offended.
However, if the monetary obligations are so big as to be a burden to you and your family, then you are certainly free to decline their generous offer. There is no dishonor in not being able to afford the role of Godparents for a second time. And they won't know that you're not able to handle this financially unless you're honest about it and tell them.
Hopefully they will understand and they will simply ask another couple instead. However, in all honesty, if they don't understand, then it's their problem; it's not yours.
2006-09-25 03:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also am not Mexican, but I agree that you should be upfront and honest with the couple. Tell them you would love to and be honored to, but financially you can not. Maybe the cost could be split between both families. It would be great to have both children have the same Godparents and also to respect your husbands culture.
2006-09-25 04:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Religion asks that you open dialog.
Tell the truth; what you've said here. This will at least get the dialog going and they'll understand you situation. There can be compromises. Dunno about Mexican culture, but the overall Catholic Culture I've experience, well other Catholics would typically stand up and help too. After all, Catholic is "Universal" and "Church" is the members of the "Church" and not the buildings.
Plus, you're kinda lying about your ability to take care of kids if they die ... not that you should refuse this due to financial obligations, but simply you need help to help them.
2006-09-25 07:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I advise you to say no. The worse that can happen is they won't want to be your friends anymore which should be good news if I were you.
Or be truthful to them and tell them you can't afford to be a godparent to another child. If with this explanation they are still unhappy about it, it's time to drop them as friends.
2006-09-25 15:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easiest thing to do would be to disqualify yourself:
"A Catholic who does not practice the faith by regularly attending Mass or who is in an invalid marriage disqualifies himself from being a godparent. Moreover, if a person is Catholic but antagonistic to the faith, i.e. has the attitude "I am a Catholic but...," and would not be a good example and witness to the faith also disqualifies himself. "
I recommend taking an antagonistic attitude if you regularly attend mass and are in a valid marriage.
2006-09-25 03:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by digitalquirk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋