Why is it that I go off girls that really like me, really want the ones that don't like me, miss the ones that I've had relationships with and always find myself in situations where I don't know what to do, either I don't want to be with who I'm with or get messed around by the ones I think i want to be with. Is god having a cruel laugh at my expense or does everyone else feel like this?
2006-09-25 02:57:09 · 20 answers · asked by crownose 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ha ha thanks I think I need a counsellor and have self loathing isuues! I did think I was totally happy with who I am, I think I'm great!! just not everyone agrees. PS I thought getting on with life included sharing it with someone?
2006-09-25 03:06:07 · update #1
Maybe its becasue you dont have any idea of what you want? I was like that for a long time, always thought the grass was greener, and kept moving on from perfectly ok, albeit i thought boring relationships. Then when the new 'exciting relationship' didnt pan out i pined for the nice guy that I had dumped.
I am still single now, but at least i know what i am looking for, not jumping into things lustfully as i used to, but really considering if the person ticks the majority of boxes.
it just shows you that the 'treat them mean, keep them keen addage really does work'
Good Luck
SJ
x
2006-09-25 04:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just a guess of course and I could be way off..... but have you been hurt quite badly by an ex? It seems to me like you're afraid of getting hurt again. My friend is exactly like you. Her boyfriend of 4 years cheated on her. They had a house together etc and he'd been at if for months before she found out. As you can imagine she was pretty messed up by the whole thing. Now she finds herself unable to settle down with anyone else. She's OK in the initial dating stage but when the guy starts to get a bit interested, she backs off and goes quite cold. She's usually really interested in the guy she can't have either like the fitness instructor at the gym or her sister's boyfriends - its like she's distancing herself! Then when she's finished with men she was in relationships with, she sits there on a night out crying and asking if she's done the right thing! Basically, its all because she was hurt so badly in the past, she doesn't ever want to get herself in a situation where somebody has the power to hurt her like that again.
2006-09-25 10:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you like the thrill of the chase!
Often when we have people flinging themselves at us we percieve it as kinda desperation and have no interest - yet when we meet someone that we cant or shouldnt have - its like a personal challenge to get them! Like how many times have you really wanted a lady that has a boyfriend? Its just kinda interesting to see how far you can push the boundaries and get them. Usually - once you have em - you loose interest anyway!
As for wanting the ones you had relationships with - I think that kinda bases back to familiarity and is almost like a habit! New relationships are often hard and awkward and its too easy to remember back to how things were with our ex's and compare those old comfortable relationships with the uneasiness of our news ones!
I think theres a combination of what Ive said above that is deterring your new relationships - people pick up on your uneasiness and unsureness of new relationships and can mistake this for lack of interest. you need to just forget about the past - an ex is an ex for a reason - and move on. Theres a girl out there for you somewhere!!
2006-09-25 10:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're lost....you sound like one of those ones who are never satisfied and when things aren't going the way you want them to you start wishing you had what you got rid of.
Stop wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It usually is but it doesn't mean its better than the crab grass you have in your own backyard. Start appreciating and wanting what you have and you will find the inner peace you long for.
2006-09-25 10:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find i'm like that when i'm with someone who shows me love and affection i don't want to be with them, then i get someone who is the complete oppsite and i want the person who showed me thier love back. Then i sit there and think about past lovers and i want them back. I thought i was the only 1 when you get an answer tell me and by the way r u a gemini by any chance?
2006-09-25 10:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you don't like yourself very much. Are you totally happy with who you are? Do you have confidence? I think that if you were completely happy with who YOU are, you'd find a girl that you could love and who'll love you back and you'll stop thinking about the past. By the way, I think lots of people feel the same way!!
2006-09-25 10:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by gidget 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guy you really do sound cofused.i think the thing that ataches you to the girls that dont like you is the challenge of trying to win them over.the girls that like you get you bored cos there is no challange and you already know they like you so your satisfied.you have a big ego,but not in a nausty way,most guys do this.my best advise is that if you stop getting bored of people who like you and show them the real you,you could find yourself in a good relationship.if you dont want to be with a girl cos your guna get bored then dont lead her on, its not nice.as for the girls that dont like you,stop trying with them all they will bring you is trouble they are not worth it.not even just for a challange.
2006-09-25 10:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by Pagen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God doesnt have anything to do with that homie, you are just not good at the whole relationship thing, and i feel you cus i ask myself that same thing, how come when i find that one that is almost perfect for me, i end up messing things up? maybe youre a commitment phobe?
2006-09-25 10:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by BlkBeauty24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel like this!! just can't seem to get it right i guess, everyone tells me its either i set my sights to high or don't see the what everyone else does in the ones i don't like but i say its settling for second best and no one should be prepared to do that. i believe that one day i will find the 'one' until then i'm having fun looking.
2006-09-25 10:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by simply_cjay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its human nature sweety. We all want what we can't have, and once we get it we can't want it anymore because we've already got it, so we look for something else to want. That is untill we find the one we trully love and who trully loves us. Once we find that we just KNOW, and it isn't about wanting anymore. It's just enough to be around them
2006-09-25 18:10:57 · answer #10 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋