I am a vegetarian but my boyfriend is not. What do you think we should do about our children?

Question

See, to me it is VERY important that my family and I live a cruelty-free life. I want us to be kind to other people and animals, take care of the environment, eat healthily, etc. But he is more the type to let them do whatever they want as long as it is not drugs or something like that. So I made a compromise: they will be vegetarian until they can decide for themselves and understand the issues about animals raised for slaughter, etc. What do you think about this whole issue?Do you think that that is a good compromise? Thanks peoples! :)

Answer 1

My problem is that I cannot live and be happy knowing there's meat in my house/refrigerator. If you're okay with it being there and using it in your pots and pans, and even cooking it yourself, then why not have them choose to become vegetarians when they're older if that's what they want to do? It's EXTREMELY hard raising kids as vegetarians, although less difficult if you think eggs and milk are okay. You really need to do a lot of research and talk to your doctor about it. For us, as adult vegetarians, it's okay if we eat nothing but pasta for a month or 2 - we might not feel the greatest, but we're done developing and growing so it won't affect us like it would a child getting poor nourishment. I'd like to raise my kids as vegetarians, but I've come to the conclusion that I can't police them when they're at school or with their freinds etc. And I don't think putting such huge moral decisions on young children is such a good idea. I became a vegetarian on my own when I was 11-12 without the influence of anyone. I think it's probably best to wait until they're about that age before discussing the issue. Up until then, if you want to keep them on a *mostly* vegetarian diet, try to promote it as being "healthy". I think you should discuss it more with your boyfriend, being on 2 different wavelengths isn't the best way to start out a family. If it's that important to you, vegetarianism is like a religion, and usually when one person is more religious the other person agrees to let the children be raised in that religion b/c they know how important it is to them. A lot of ppl here are bashing you for trying to impose your views on your children, but for whatever reason they can't see that forcing your child to eat meat is the exact same thing. I wish everyday that I would've been raised vegetarian and NEVER had eaten any meat whatsoever, but we can't change the past. I'm okay with having made my own decision, but when you feel as strongly about it as I do you it makes you sick knowing what meat products taste like and that you had consumed animals at some point in your life.

Bottom line, if you were both partial to the idea I would say go for it! However, I can see real problems developing if you choose to raise them in a vegetarian lifestyle without the support of him. What if he wants to take the kids to a BBQ or make one himself? What if he takes them to an event and the kids want a hot dog? Would he really say no to them when he probably wants one too? What about Thanksgivng and Christmas? And it might come out like you're the bad guy if he says No, you're mother wants you to be vegetarian. You might not think that will happen now, but if it puts a strain on your relationship anything can happen. Talk it out with him, get him to try meat alternatives etc. Maybe he can be satisfied with having a veggie household and if he HAS to have a hamburger or fried chicken etc, he can go eat it someplace else (kind of like smoking LOL).

Here are some resources:
http://www.vrg.org/family/
http://life.familyeducation.com/healthy-lifestyle/29525.html
http://www.nutrispeak.com/raisingvegchildren.htm

Answer 2

I completely understand where you're coming from, i myself am a vegetarian and I've thought about that a lot too. I agree with your method, i plan on raising my kids as vegetarians and explaining to them why they're vegetarian as they grow. If they are raised as vegetarian i think it's important to inform them of the health problems that meat can lead to, the cruelty that the animals go through, the affects on the environment, and the wasted resources. If my kids ever want to try meat after knowing all of that, then I'm not going to stop them, but chances are that if they're well informed of why they were raised that way, they'll be thankful and remain vegetarians.

Answer 3

Division of duties!

I made a deal with my fiance: If I go to the trouble of cooking, he can go to the trouble of eating it. If he doesn't like it, he's free to make something else for himself from whatever we have around the house. If I do the shopping, I will buy what I deem best (i.e. least cruel).

Unless your boyfriend wants to do the cooking and grocery shopping (which most men I know prefer not to do), I'd say you have a the perfect right to cook and buy whatever you want. Just make the whole issue about something else...such as division of labor.

Give your children the same option once they are able to prepare their own food. When faced with cooking/shopping themselves vs. eating what's in front of them, I think most kids would pick the easy route. Of course, educating them from an early age won't hurt. You just have to give your boyfriend the same right.

Incidentally, I really believe they'll listen to you over him. Children love animals.

Good luck

Answer 4

Why don't you wait til your married before you have children. When you do have kids, let them decide for themselves. The issues you bring up about animals for slaughter are your opinions and may not be the same opinion of your kids. Obviously, your BF does not agree with you on the subject. Since you don't agree with eating animals raised for slaughter; here is a thought. You shouldn't be allowed to eat cheese or butter or drink milk. Also, no leather for you either. Whether it be your shoes or the seats in your car. As all of these products come from the "animals raised for slaughter".

Answer 5

Excuse me, how is that a compromise? When they get to the age when they can choose properly, there is very little you can do to stop them anyway, or are you saying should you'd forbid them to choose in that situation? What you're doing is raising them veggie, I don't see the compromise there. Letting them eat veggie meals sometimes and meat at others and let them choose between when they're older is a compromise, that idea isn't. Besides, wouldn't it make more sense to raise them on, if anything, the more natural diet that humans evolved to eat (ie omnivorous)?

I'd like to point out that a good meat eating diet can be as good as, if not better, than a veggie one, meat isn't unhealthy, and that there ARE some problems with veggie diets in children (what has happened is that some people claim there are no problems, or that meat is unhealthy, some people claim there are loads. Two extremes, more likely in the middle, it can be quite bad but it depends).

Answer 6

Since your children are meat, your boyfriend could eat them, but you will have to decline. Hehehe Just trying to be funny.

I think that keeping them vegetarian is a very wise choice as long as you make sure to feed them complete proteins every day.

A small compromise could work. Have the kids eat fresh fruit, veggies, and nuts everyday. Every other day you could add 4oz of salmon to their already health diet. I don't think you can find the long amino-chains found in salmon anywhere in fruits, veggies, or nuts. The omega 3 would be great for them, they are growing. Once they are finished growing they could cut the fish out and live a very long health life. You are on the right tract, keep up the good work.

Answer 7

I think that's compromise is great! My boyfriend and I are in the same situation. Ultimately, if you've chosen to go veggie, it must be important to you. My boyfriend just doen't really care less, so he just eats meat, just like he always has.
I was brought up eating meat, and chose to make the switch. Bringing kids up as vegatarians is perfectly fine, and they may chose to make a switch, or they may not. After a certain point it's less up to you what they feed themselves, so giveing them room to make a switch is a good thing, if that's what they feel is best. Good luck with everything!

Answer 8

That's exactly what we've decided, too. He was initially somewhat resistant to raising our (future) kids vegetarian, but I agreed that we'd pick an age at which we thought they were sufficiently aware of the issues. At that point, if they want to try what he's eating, they can.

Answer 9

I think that's a wonderful compromise it's great that you're so open minded and would allow your children to choose for themselves....but whatever you do make sure they are eating healthy

Answer 10

If you were doing it for health reasons i would say to each his own (or her in this matter) but your doing for all of the wrong reasons. I think they slaughter animals as humanly as is possible. so not eating meat just because you think its cruel is not a valid reason for your kids not to eat healthy and get the kinds of protein's and other nutrients growing bodies need. i have raised and slaughtered my own live stock. and find its a way of life for every one and can assure you there is nothing cruel about it.