My dad is paying for the wedding which i really appreciate but he is taking over. He has invited everyone he knows. My husband to be has hardly invited anyone. So he is only going to know maybe 5% of the reception guests. So either my dad has to cut down or he has to make more friends. Or does it really matter am i just being fussy?
2006-09-11 23:56:02 · 26 answers · asked by Laura C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It doesn't really matter - but it obviously matters to your dad - he's proud of you. Let it be.
2006-09-11 23:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by solo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm. i got married just over a month ago and the most important thing looking back on the day was having all of our friends and family in one place - ie the people who know you the best and care about you. Although our parents also contributed heavily to our wedding they only brought 8 guests between them (out of 120 total). I think you are in a tricky situation as your father is obviously being very generous financially but he is also sounds like he is overstepping the mark - his guests should not outnumber those of the bridal couple! It is your day and I think that you would just feel awkward if there are so many people there that your future husband does not know; time flies as it is on this special day and you dont want to waste precious hours introducing your chap to all of your dads friends when you should be enjoying yourself and sharing the day with those who are close to you both. I think you need to approach your father with a compromise.... if you are inviting say 100 guests say he can have 10. Explain that you and your fiance are really grateful for his contribution financially but this is not a party - it is your wedding day and you want to keep it intimate (ie people who you actually know). You could also play the etiquette card; ie. if your fiances parents are not inviting anyone it is a bit of a faux pas for him to be inviting people in their droves (parents should really be treated fairly in wedding situations non-dependent on who paid more to the wedding!). The other solution would be to offer him to have his closest (and much fewer in numbers!) buddies along to the whole day and then he can invite the world and his wife to the evening bit; by then you wont really care as you will be having such a good time and also you won't feel that the main part of the day (marriage and meal) are being invaded. Honestly you need to say something. It is a special day and the people who you share it with make all the difference.
2006-09-13 10:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by adqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only matters if your husband-to-be has not invited people that he would like to invite because you dad is taking up the guest list. If this is the case, then you need to have a sit-down with your father. Explain that you truly appreciate his help, but that it is your wedding and you would like to have some of your own friends there as well.
However, if you fiance has invited everyone he cares to invite, and so has your father, and what you're concerned about is just the percentage...don't worry about that. No one will notice but you anyway.
2006-09-12 10:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly i just wanna say awww postman pat! okay, well i can see whats going on here and it just looks like your dads getting excited about the wedding. I know he probably knows that he is inviting a lot of his friends (which he should be allowed to if he is paying for it) but i dont think he realizes just how many people he is inviting and i think you as the daughter should show him because he is doing this for you. Just be open! your dad sounds nice im sure he will understand. I know weddings are expensive but maybe you could fish up some money from somewhere or your partner maybe. just remember that this is your wedding day and you had better tell him before you get to the day and you are facing a crowd full of people you hardly know. good luck! and congrats!
2006-09-12 07:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by ~*.::. sAy--wAatT.:.*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to balance the needs of you father who is paying, with those of your fiance who's wedding it is.
Your father is obviously proud and wants to show all his friends what an amazing day it will be, and rightly so. But this is your fiance's day as well and just because he isn't paying doesn't mean his needs should be ignored. Have you considered having a big reception after the service for all the guests and then a sit down meal for a select few who your fiance will feel comfortable with?
2006-09-13 09:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You father does seem like he is taking over, however he is inviting everyone as its not everyday your daughter gets married. He is just being a proud parent. Now if your father has already invited a number of people, he can not un-invite them, it would be very embarrassing for both. If your fiance would like more wedding guests, why doesn't he ask them. I am sure your dad realizes that he has family and friends that he would like to invite. It may be wise to sit down with your father and just let him know how many guests your fiance would like to invite.
2006-09-12 07:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and talk to my father. Tell him how much you appreciate that he is paying for your wedding but that you feel uncomfortable that he is inviting a lot of people that your fiance does not even know. See if he will compromise on the amount of guest he is inviting to your wedding. Good Luck!
2006-09-12 10:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Dad has ALREADY invited al his friends then it is a bit too late. Didnt you see the list before sending the invitations out or did your Dad send them out. It is fair enough that he invite some of his friends but just because he is paying doesnt mean your fiancee (who is the one getting married not your Dad) should not be able to ask his friends. You should all have a quota, ie a quarter your friends, a quarter his, a quarter relatives and the rest your Dad;s friends. If he has asked the people already you could say you want to add more people ie your fiancee's friends. That is not unreasonable.
2006-09-13 05:03:17 · answer #8 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad's going to look a bit silly if he starts to uninvite the guests who he has already invited. Have a word and tell him that you appreciate him paying for the wedding etc., but he's to add no more on his list, the rest of the list is reserved for your husband to be and your friends...
2006-09-12 07:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by empressandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its you and your partners day sit down and say to your dad that you really appreciate him paying for the wedding but explain the number thing were as you would like to invite friends of you and your partner and the numbers will get out of hand making the day cost that much more your dad may be paying but you have the final say good luck
2006-09-12 08:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your dad is paying its hard to tell him he can't invite who he wants,sounds like your husband -to- be may need to make some more friends. And yes,you may be being a little fussy,but maybe its understandable if you have wedding jitters.
2006-09-12 07:02:26 · answer #11 · answered by moontreefairy76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋