how do i get my son into nursery the easy calm way?

Question

ok my 3yr old starts nursery on friday morning 9-11:30am

the problem is these last few days he has been saying he hates school and he hates his soon to be new friends (he hasnt met any kids yet.lol)
he is my last child out of 4 and i admit spoilt rotten so when he crys or gets upset he is cuddled and everything..lol.

we have only just recently stopped his tantrums and gawd were they bad full screaming kicking throwing throwing himself on the floor tantrums lasting sometimes up to 1hr he does have them on the odd occasion now.. and this is what is scaring me if he does this while in nursery because he doesnt want to go..

i want to try and get him there without him seeing me upset because i know im going to be very worried and miss him like crazy and just cry.lol..

so whats the best calm way to get him of to nursery without to much of a fuss??

wow thanks for the great answers there really helpful..helen i admit the spoiling is my fault but thats only because the daughter i had before him i lost at 6months in the womb and when i got caught with him i was terrifeid the same thing would happen so stressfull pregnancy with him and a very panicy mother after he was born ....

temper tantrums health vistor said was normal?? sorry but my other 3 kids never done q

wow thanks for teh replys there great :)

helen.. i admit the spoiling is my fault yes but the reasons behind it is becuase he wasnt meant to be here. i was pregant with my daughter when i lost her at 6months utter shock as you can imagine then i got caught with him 6months later and it was so stressfull i was so worried the same thing would happen to him. so not a easy pregancy and when he was born i wrapped him in cotton wool and have done ever since probably me feeling guilty i suppose..lol..

health visitor says temper tantrums were normal but sorry not to me they werent my other 3 kids never had tantrums like he did ..

i cant get the thought of him just being left to cry in nursery out of my head..

i know its not compulsry for him to go to nursery but i think it will benefit him and me with a bit of time away from eachother and him to make loads of freinds of his own age of course...

i will take on board al that has been said and again thanks :):)

Answer 1

all children takes time to adjust...inially u may have to stay at the school till he finishes..be in sight for a half hour or so, and then get out of sight...till he is used to not seeing u there

Answer 2

You could make a game off the journey to school, and give him something extra special when he gets home if he didn't carry on or have a tantrums. Maybe your other kids could help you by building your littlest ones confidence with some good, fun happy school stories they have had. If you have ever watched SuperNanny or nanny 911 you could get some good ideas from them. If you have a naughty corner, step or spot and a rewards system it shouldn't be hard for him, plus as many people have said he will have fun and make friends. Everyone feels nervous the first day to anywhere (i felt nervous when i started my job the first day, the first week actually), but once your boy sees how things are done he will just get on with it and enjoy himself, hopefully.
You probably will feel upset and worried the first few times you leave him at nursery, but try not to let him see you because kids always want to make mummy happy and if he thinks him going to school will upset you he will do what he can to stay with you.
After the first few days you will enjoy your extra freedom and cherish your time with your son, (you probably know all this).
If all else fails and you don't think you can handle taking him to nursery, then taking a good friend with you to keep you calm and help handle any troubles you may encounter. A child need support and so do the parents.
I'm sure you are strong enough and i bet your son loves all the new experiences. GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Personally take him to the Nursery and each morning, try to meet up with some other parent and child who is going to the same Nursery. You can then all walk together into the Nursery.

Arrange beforehand with the Staff, that you will be staying with him in the 'class' for a little while each morning.

When he comes home, get him to tell you about someone he likes and the best thing about the Nursery.

Use that person and the thing he most likes, as his incentive for going to and settling in the Nursery.

Answer 4

Discuss with your caregiver, the possibility of dropping by for short visits before your child’s first day. During your visit, discuss with your child the fact that this is where he will be spending the day while you are at work. Frequently use the caregiver’s name and describe all the wonderful things that will make up the day. The more cheerful your behavior is, and the more excited you appear, the more excited and relaxed your child will become.

If your child has not been use to getting up early, you may consider getting them into an earlier bedtime routine a week or two before starting daycare or preschool, and allowing them to awaken at an earlier time in the morning. A child that is overly tired will tend to be clingy or more irritable when you drop them off at the caregiver.

On that big first day, remember to keep that positive and excited attitude as you prepare your child for the day ahead. Remember; any reservations or apprehensions that you may have, will be picked up by your little one. When you arrive, don't carry your child into the daycare. Have your child walk to the door, knock on the door, and walk in on their own.

If your child cries and whines to be held, tell them, "You are a big boy now and you can walk." Take your child gently but firmly by the hand and lead him to the door. Do not give in and pick him up. You must be consistent.

Once inside, tell your child in a relaxed and cheerful voice, how proud you are of them, and remind them of how much fun they are going to have, how much you love them and assure them that you will return for them.

Please try to hold back your tears until you are out the door. Seeing a parent cry will only make the child afraid.

If your caregiver allows, you may consider giving your child "a little piece of home" to keep with them during the day.

In order to continue a smooth transition from the first day onward, you and your child should establish a daily routine.

Answer 5

I baby-sit in the church nursery and have seen this with this age group. What we do is if the child continues to cry, we page the mother from church, which they could do as well. However, at this age, he just wants to be with you, and needs the social activity. After awhile the kids get used to it, and relay enjoy being there. You just need to put him in there and kiss him, and walk away. You could wait a while out of site, and listen to what he is saying or crying, screaming, etc. But they will usually calm down if you just have patience, it is really for his own good, and he will eventually enjoy it. I also have had that age and they never liked it either, but always got used to it and enjoyed it.

Answer 6

Inform him that learning and making friends are fun and he could tell you about all the wonderful things he's done at school each day. It's usually the parents who have a harder time letting go then the children. Don't baby him and enable him when he throws a tantrum -- because the nursery school staff don't have time to baby him. He's getting to be a big boy and there are certain things we must do as we get older -- school is one. Prepare and drop him off and then go to work.

Answer 7

Sound just what he needs! It's only for 2 and a half hours and he'll have so much fun, I doubt he'll want to leave. It will do him (and you) the world of good. So just be firm but loving, tell him he'll have lots of fun and don't make a fuss of leaving (get the nursery nurses to occupy him with a game or toy while you leave), and reassure him you'll be back to get him. It's good that you're doing this now, as when he goes to school it will be less traumatic for him. Well done you!

Answer 8

my son started creche at 2 and i must admit i was a little apprehensive.
He may chuck a wobbly only because he knows it will bother you. try to not let his effect on you show...firmly say have a nice day bye now mummy's going...and then go
you can break down in the car park like i did. and call every 10 minutes if you have too
if you give in to him he will know that by carrying on he will get you to stay that little longer
it may take a few visits it took me about 5 until he realised that this was now the way it is.
Its a hard slog but they really do benefit from the social aspect as well as academically.
The thing is our kids are too smart....for example my boy knows how far he can push me...very fussy eater yet whilst he as at creche he plays within the rules and eats everything. They throw their tantrums only because they know they get the attention.
give that attention up and the tantrums will stop,,,he will learn to get attention in a nicer way

Answer 9

you admit its your own fault and now your complaining , you must give consequences or treats are worthless . buy a bag of sweets show them to him and tell him he can have them after school , when he starts flush one down the toilet , he'll think you've gone mad but as the sweets dwindle he'll start to weigh the pro & cons of making a fuss , if he's already completely spoilt you may flush all the sweets and you must make sure their are no other sweets for at least two days ,

the principal is learnt and though it may fail the first time because he's convinced you wouldn't do it , the second time he knows you will and is likely to comply .

please note it will not take him long to work out that if he makes a fuss you'll buy sweets to threaten him with and all he has to do is agree and he gets them , but its a starting point ?

Answer 10

Try and relax cos he will pick up on your stress, easier said than done i know. Take him to the nursery teacher and explain the problem. I f he has a tantrum or cries you are gonna just have to walk away, he will be fine once you've gone. Most kids only have tantrums for their parents benefit and once you've gone they stop.
Good luck.

Answer 11

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