Having a baby?

Question

Is it hard being a single mother? I am 24, I don't have a partner but a friend who I have been seeing for over 2 years. I would really like a baby now... I have a full time job, have been here for 3 years so maternity leave wouldnt be a problem. Do you get help with housing from the council when you have a baby?

Thanks for all your answers people, they have really helped...

I am not ready for a baby and will forget about the idea for now.

Thank you...

Answer 1

You need to ask yourself why you think you want a baby? Is it because you want someone to love, or is it as a fashion accessory? Having a baby is the hardest thing in the world. You're constantly tired, worried, stressed and poor, and to willingly go into this as a single woman is madness. Children need the support and love of two people. Don't do it because you just want to, wait till you're in a loving relationship - you're only 24 - you've got loads of time.

Answer 2

It is very hard to be a single parent. In my opinion no one should chose to be. The desire to have a child at your age is a normal one however. You must ask yourself why do I want a child. Do not have a child for a selfish reason. Like my sister has a child and I should to. I would really think about establishing a relationship that is permanent. Yes like marriage. A child will in the end turn out better for it despite what liberal society spouts.
Council? unless you live on a Indian reservation this would not happen. The council would not look kindly on your choice to have a baby on your own. I wish you luck and hope you have a nice life and I hope you will have that family you apparently wish for.

Answer 3

If you're going to need asistance from anywhere (other than your checkbook or some general help from family and friends...) you are not ready to have a baby and should forget about this right now. You are young - there's plenty of time to do this later. Why not set aside some money each month into your baby fund so, when you do get pregnant, you aren't a financial burden on anyone...PS - you never know when the one little baby you wanted could turn out to be TWINS or MORE! (I had twins naturally...but I was ready for that because I waited.)

Answer 4

Well 1st of all being a mother is more than about getting money form the social i'm 26 + have a 7 year old i've never claimed off the social + my son has never seen his dad. Yes it is hard very hard at times but my view was i had the baby so i'll support it, i've been broke with childcare fees as i work full time but its all worth it in the end. i wouldn't change it for the world however i would advise you waited until you had a partner that you loved as it would of been nice to share it all with somebody who loved me and appreciated the little things like feeling the baby kick with you etc and it does get lonely sometimes. and also it can be hard on the child but once your honest it usually ends up ok hope this helps :--)

Answer 5

of course its hard!!! but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulder for the sole fact your thinking about maternity leave.... depending on where your from there is usually help through the state but you stated that you work full time and assuming your not a dead beat you must have a good insurance package offered through work? you shouldn't need help if your maintaining a good job. maybe you should make your friend into a husband before having children would probably be the best solution so then there are two incomes to support a child so then you really wont be another statistic living off the system.

Answer 6

I had my first baby when I was 18,the second - when I was 21,the third - when I was 23.After that I got education and married.I was a single mother of 3 children but it wasn't a big problem.My parents helped me with money and sometimes took the kids,so I could study at university.My boyfriend(later my husband) helped me a lot wither.He took care of the children and they loved him.But I guess if I was alone it wouldn't be a problem to take care of the children.I have never liked day cares and I tried to be with my children as much as I can.If you have nothing against day cares,you will have a place to live your child when he/she grows a little more.I think being a single mother is not a problem!Now when I diverced,I'm a single mother again(I'm 33 now) and I have 7 children.I cope with everything and have no problems with being single.If you are strong and ready to do it - go ahead!Good luck!

Answer 7

I dont think that being a single mother is easy, i am pregnant at the moment and am with my partner - my mom was a single mom and it was sooo not easy for her. She went without so we could have. You may get help from the Council with housing but if your area is like mine you have little or no chance or the waiting list is high and they only help out with the rent (they call it housing benefit) if your income is low) - Im from the UK as i presume you are. I wouldnt recommend having a baby without a partner - or having a one night stand to have a baby. Get yourself a partner and settle down a baby will happen when it happens. Dont rush it.

Answer 8

where are u from?
please don't make a mistake bringing a baby in this world to be fatherless or motherless, the one thing i cant stand is seeing a child wondering where or how or why he-she doesn't have a dad, why did dad leave, they feel rejected and they start having low self esteem and that's just a sad story for some people but others it becomes their irritating life, and the more depressed they get the bigger the chances are of them committing suicide,

so tell me do you really want to bring a child in this world to be unhappy?

i have a baby 2 year old i love her, i have problems with her dad but when i imagine her life in the near future i sacrifice for her well being and growth, think about before the child comes to this world because once the baby is here you cant kill it, you will have to give that baby everything it deserves.

i hope you find all the answers needed to make your decision.

Answer 9

I was a single mother for my daughters first few years. It wasn't easy, but as she was my main focus, it wasnt that hard. I think if you have the right support network around you, you will be fine. But in saying that, you cannot rely on others to bring your child up. Going out every now & then is fine but there are so many single parents out there who think it is still their right to party as much as they want. I dont know about getting government help as I dont know what country your in, here in Australia, there is financial assistance for single parents but it is becomming increasingly hard to remain on this benifit once your child reaches a certain age. You have a full time job though, so if you are planning on having a baby, I reccommend saving your pennys because the costs aren't cheap!! Best wishes to you, whatever choice you make. Be sure to keep in mind that once your baby enters the world, you are no longer #1 in your life. :o)

Answer 10

i became a single mother at the age of 21. the father of my baby left me at 6 months pregnant and i have never seen him since. my parents were disgusted with me i wanted to move out but could not afford it on my own i have been on 3 housing waiting lists for 3 years now and still no luck. its the hardest thing i have ever had to do. before i had my daughter i had a well paid job, own car and lots of money. and now i have no car, no money in the bank and i dont get on with my parents so i practically live in my bedroom. my advice would be to wait for someone special, and have your own home. i love my daughter more than anything and i know that somewhere in the future things will be better for us .