A few months ago I ended my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. I was very young when i started dating him. I was no longer happy in the relationship. It took alot for me to end it as he was very controling and had a violent temper (he never hit me). he always used to put me down and as a result i have no confidence anymore, especially with guys. Since the split ive had to involve lawyers as he wont leave me alone. Anyway, apart from that i have since met a few guys who are interested in dating me. however, im afraid that i will end up in the same situation again as i was with my Ex!i know that not all guys are like me ex but i cant help it. maybe im just not ready to start dating again yet. Any advice?
2006-09-11 23:23:49 · 36 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you've answered your own question honey - its too soon to be rushing back into another relationship - you need to take some time to figure yourself out again - rebuild your confidence and learn to be happy in your own skin again.
If you jump straight into a relationship now chances are it'll only be a rebound thing and you stand to get hurt again.
Spend some quality time being single - do all the things you enjoyed before your boyfriend started destroying you - take time out for shopping - your hobbies - friends - whatever, but I would advise against dating so soon
2006-09-11 23:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys are the same as your ex. You've been in a bad situation, but the good news is that hopefully you'll see the signs of a relationship going bad next time and not wait around 6 years to get out of it.
Find your self confidence and dont let anyone intimidate or control you again. This is your life, not for someone else to tell you what to do etc.
And I agree with the person who said "Go Shopping". Always sound advice lol
2006-09-11 23:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that one of the reasons that you got into so much trouble with your last relationship was that you were so young and you had not grown into yourself yet. I think you should give yourself the chance to do that now as you have the opportunity. Don't start dating just for the sake of it, and the best advice I can give you is not to look for someone at all. Take some time for yourself and if you stumble across a guy, get to know him first, objectively. Often guys exhibit violent tendencies from early on in a relationship but some women choose to ignore it, just be careful this time.
Good luck hun.
2006-09-12 00:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Richard C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone is interested in you and wants to date you doesn't mean that you have to. Take a break, breathe and just relax for the moment. You can jump into the dating scene anytime so what's the rush? You broke up with your ex because he was controlling. You are the one in control now and have been ever since you decided enough was enough. You need to get to know yourself again - and learn to be yourself as a single carefree person. To go on holiday somewhere or even for a weekend at a spa and spoil yourself! Do whatever your heart desires especially if it was something your ex never wanted to you do - like dye your hair. Give it try.
2006-09-11 23:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have gotten some good advice from these answers I hope you will heed it. I agree, you need to see a therapist and maybe you should be in contact with the police to, your bf hasn't hit you yet but have you ever defied him quite so openly before? Make sure you talk to your family and have someone that you can call every day. This is a safety measure so that if you do not call someone will check on you and make sure you are okay. As far as dating goes I would wait until your confidence returns and you feel strong inside yourself. Take the time to learn who you really are and what you want out of your life.
2006-09-11 23:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would take things very slowly with a new guy, don't just jump back in to the old routine you had. You will gradually regain your confidence and remember the person you used to be.
This happened to a friend of mine and she had to get a restraining order on her ex. She has now met a really great guy who treats her like a princess.
Take time to really get to know a new guy and don't stay with him unless you are completely happy. If you leave it too long before dating again you will never regain your lost confidence. You already know that all guys are not like your ex, so get out there, take a chance but above all have FUN.
2006-09-12 00:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a relationship that's almost exactly what you described. Been in it for 16 years. The good times outweigh the bad. Maybe that's not true of your situation. As far as moving on, put the past behind you and open your heart to new possibilities. As you said, they're not all like that. Don't punish a prospective boyfriend for your former boyfriend's wrong-doing. And don't punish yourself. It's not your fault.
2006-09-11 23:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to me you sound like yuo are not ready to dat anybosy at the moment, but the longer you put it off the harder it will be. Maybe you should just wait a while and have some time to yourself and your friends. You will know when you feel ready to date again. Hope it all works out for you, x
2006-09-11 23:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait at least 6months before you start dating again. You need time to get to yourself as a single person. When all the lawyers are finished with than you can think about dating again, it does sound like you need some space.
2006-09-12 00:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by John Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into dating some1. Take time for yourself.
And all guys are not the same but now after these 6 yrs you know what you want in a relationship and the type of person you want to be with.
Don't get serious with some1 right now.
2006-09-11 23:41:36 · answer #10 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋