They have been here to help me get back on my feet after some personal problems and I moved in their home. It is nice they like me being here, but now they seem to think I should just stay here until they are gone. They are both near 80 (healthy) and I am 40's. I want to emerge from this small town and get back to my life in the city. How do I draw the line between guilt and setting my own goals? Anyone else in similar position? Thanks for positive input!
2006-09-11 22:26:02 · 6 answers · asked by Cub6265 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes I have returned to my parents recently as well. I would not think it is healthy for you or them to stay. I am already going crazy. I am reminded why I moved so far away in the first place. I think it is good to stay close to them and make sure you would be there for them in any case. As far as their age this can be an obvious concern for them and you. So keep this in mind when you consider your location you want to move to. This maybe a big concern to them and they might not say it outright. So please keep this in mind. However they maybe open on the maybe open on that subject.
If you really want to move far away like plus 500 miles or so try to make proper financial arrangements to be able to visit as much as possible. At the age of your parents they may need you more than you need them when you had personal problems.
Next I would just try to be open to them about your intent. No surprises. Also express concern for them to help them open up if you think their age is an issue. PLus I imagine you are security to them. At that age you can help in many ways that you couldn't imagine. Please try to put you life in their shoes.
This is the best I can say without knowing more. Best Wishes.
2006-09-11 22:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Labatt113 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me first answer the question .. you should be obligated to your parents as much as they obligated to you for the last 40 years
even more ...
but still u need to have a life of your own .. normal .. and here comes the role of compromise .. divide your week .. your month .. between them and yourself, and make sure they Have the biggest share, don't forget they are two :) and they do love you .. so you have to be the same too
think .. they will not live longer than they already did .. and i don't want u to fall in the hole of guilt after they are gone, on how you had the chance to stay longer and spend more time but u didn't
wish u luck.. and wisdom
2006-09-12 05:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by Dark soul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well lets see, they brought you in this world took care of you, raised you, probably bought you everything they possibly could so that you could have a better life than they had. so considering that they are in their 80's i would stick around and help them out, i mean they dont really have much of a life left, and you should be greatful that you still have parents who want you to stay with them. take me for instance, both of my parents passed when i was young, lost my dad when i was 7 and lost my mother when i was 16. so be greatful for the time you have had with them and what little time you have left. cherish everymoment you can spend with them. you are still farely young and you can still go and do you "Goals" after they are gone, but you can still work on getting your "Goals" started Now, Go ahead and start planning on what you want to do and still be there for your parents. What is there to loose? except for the "What IF's" Good luck man
2006-09-12 05:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by ladyrebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time for you to set out and start your own goals. Needless to say you can still be there for your parents but you should be on your own, making your own life as well
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-12 05:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear... I don't think there is a clear answer and asking it in Yahoo! Answers isn't going to get you objective and realistic answers. You'll have to first weigh pros and cons. Then, you'll have to decide what kind of a solution you'll ultimately want to see and then proceed to find a solution to get there.
I make it sound so simple, but I know for a fact that it is far from it...
2006-09-12 05:33:49 · answer #5 · answered by jugular_vein 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think it over, you may regret not doing it later.
2006-09-12 05:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by kitty fresh & hissin' crew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋