Is it ok to have your bf watched?

Question

My bf works on the road. He never answers his phone and drinks every night. My intuition says this isnt good. Should I have him watched?

Answer 1

It is not good. Get a copy of his cell phone bill. Have him watched, indeed.

Chances are better than 50-50 that you won't like what you see.

In the 1950s, Bernie Schatzman, a New Yorker, suspected his wife Dorothy of being unfaithful. He hired a private detective. When Bernie sued for divorce (adultery then being the only grounds in NYS) his lawyer put the detective on the stand and the detective testified to having seen Dorothy consort in hotel rooms with 45 different men, one of whom was the detective himself.

Dorothy appealed and lost summarily. In fact it's the shortest case report I've ever seen:

DOROTHY SCHATZMAN
vs.
BERNARD SCHATZMAN.

Supreme Court Of New York, Appellate Division, First Department
4 A.D.2d 1014, 170 N.Y.S.2d 968
December 5, 1957 (Republished)

[NO TEXT]

Answer 2

What is the point? He is either doin' dirty or he isn't. You either trust him or you don't. If you feel like he is doing wrong or you can't trust him, I'd suggest getting out of the relationship because no matter what you do, he won't change. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but it's just the facts. Why waste time or money on him when he isn't thinking about you? I'd say just move on. You could have him watched and what if he is doing wrong? Then you'd be hurt. But you have this intuition that he is and you are hurting...don't put yourself through this pain...find another dude who will treat you right.

Answer 3

I think it is. Of course, I've done it before LOL I read a statistic that said that if a woman suspects her man is cheating, nine times out of ten, he is. So, something to think about. I don't think it's wrong, if you put a limit on it. Like maybe a two week period, and if you don't find anything, quit spying. Don't make it like a month long stakeout. AND remember to respect his privacy. Don't catch him doing anything that can't be seen from a public place, like him eating dinner at McDonald's with a female and he kisses her. then that's fair and you haven't invaded anything of his. Make sense?

Answer 4

If you relationship has deteriorated to such a point, is it even worth being with him?

It sounds like you have absolutely no trust in this guy whatsoever, and seeing that all good relationships revolve around trust, maybe you should quit while you are ahead and find someone you do trust....

Answer 5

Hello!! :o) I'm going to assume that your boyfriend isn't 8 years old and YOU are not his mother. Should you have him 'watched'? NO. If you are concerned about what he is doing - tell him. If he doesn't seem to care all that much - leave him. There are no brownie-points for staying with people we don't trust. Craig!! :o)

Answer 6

How you can be with alcoholic boyfriend in first place - just dump the garbage - don't waist your time for some stupid watching - get freedom of mine - be realistic look for somebody as good as you deserved.

Answer 7

Do you have any conclusive proof he is doing anything unfaithful beyond any doubts? If so... instead of having him followed and wasting your money, just take precautionary measures to make sure youre not hurt. (distancing yourself from him, becoming abstinent, ect). After all .. if he really wants you then he'll do what it takes to convince you. You dont got to put up with sh!@#. :)

Answer 8

If you want 2 know what he is doing. if he is cheating than he is cheating ask him b up front with him. most of the time people R afraid 2 ask the right question. dont beat around the bush b foward

Answer 9

I wouldn't if I were you because you already know the answers to your questions. If you want to hurt yourself by having him watched would it change any decisions your thinking about making?

Answer 10

Yeah, my intuition is a little suspicious too. Did you ask him first? Do that, and if he says nothing is going on and you still can't shake your suspicion, I would do it.