I've told you all about this before but this time I have a question, but first let me explain the situation again. I do not allow my girls to go over to this girls house NOT ONLY BECAUSE HER HOUSE IS FILTHY so continue to read on...but also because her Mom is a known alcoholic, her Grandparents have each tried to commit suicide and also live on the same grounds, the girls Mom allows a 21 yr old boy to come over and "visit" with this 10 year old girl! The house has atleast 6-8 dogs and numerous of cats. When you open the door, I gasp because of the odor. I've decided I can not allow my girls to go there. I will however allow the little girl at my house any day, any time. My problem is this. How do I explain this to my girls? What do I tell this other little girl when she asks 'why can't my girls go to her house and play?' and what do I tell her Mother when she asks? And I know she's going to ask sooner or later..
2006-09-11 20:29:27 · 13 answers · asked by curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sarahb you need to re-read the question honey! I allow this girl in my home every day! That's not the problem. The Mother is a KNOWN ALCOHOLIC. The Grandparents have both tried to committ suicide, I know this for a fact! There house is filthy and reaks of animal urine! You know that disgusting amonia smell you get from animals? yeah, that smell!!
2006-09-11 20:58:41 · update #1
First of all explain to your daughters all the dangers coming from this friendship to their health overall (asthma from the pets, fleas, ticks, barnacles and how it feels (itches, irritated skin, painful remedy, other children keeping them at a distance).
If the other mother and the little girl ask, then you can reply either by telling that you are afraid of the pets pests, so you cannot allow your girls to visit their house and -even better- you can be absolutely sincere telling them the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth.
I gather that sincerity is difficult because of the mental level of these people, so another approach is to call the social services to take care of this ..."family".
I feel sorry for the little girl, but I believe that it is good also for her.
Good luck!
2006-09-11 21:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by ngiapapa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you punishing the little girl because her family is unacceptable to your sensibilities?
The only thing in your list that I would be concerned about is the 21 year old who visits the 10 year old.
Firstly, the house may be filthy by your standards but that is not the child's fault.
How is it known that Mom is an alcoholic? is it vicious gossip or is it a proven fact? Have you seen evidence of it?
Isn't the girl lucky to have her grandparents living with her, perhaps they are trying to support her mother.
As to the pets, many families have a lot of animals, it is a matter of personal choice.
You have the right to disallow your girls from visiting their friend, you also have the right not to allow her into your house. However, I have not heard one complaint about this girl's behaviour, demeanour or attitude. If she is a child who is living in these conditions and still your children want to be friends with her, doesn't that mean she has some saving grace.
OK, don't let your girls go over there, but at least let them all play in your garden under your supervision. Don't forget, if you ban it - they are going to want to do it !!
I wish you luck on this one.
2006-09-12 03:48:08 · answer #2 · answered by sarah b 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like this little 10 year old is in danger, who would allow a 21 year old, ( that is an adult !!!!) to come and "visit" their daughter ??? Now is visitations, who knows what could happen when the mother gets drunk and there is nobody in the house to keep an eye on the little girl. I would call social services, because at this point, anything could happen to this poor child, and what kind of sick pervert would even think of having an affair or even just a "crush" on a 10 year old child. I would definitely call someone to rescue this child.
2006-09-12 04:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by nelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely do not lie Just tell them straight out that their house is very filthy, or better yet call human social services this is no place for a little girl to live and for her mother having a 21 year old guy come visit her daughter god only knows if this guy is molesting this little girl, Use a little common sense and just come straight forward and tell your daughters you will not allow them over there cause it's to dirty and that your afraid they'll catch something , I hope you can figure something out Good Luck!
2006-09-12 03:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by «~Mouse«~~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It appears to me from what i have read, that this little girl you are talking about is not in a safe environment. If she is only 10 yrs old , and having to live in a nasty house with an alcohlic mother , you know she can,t be being raised right. You shouldnt worry about what you have to say to the little girl or her mother when they ask if your girls can come to there house, your obligation really lies on the welfare of that poor little girl thats having to be raised that way. Cmon lady step to it and get your ducks in line. Take care and good luck
2006-09-12 03:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by needsum 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
FIRST OF ALL, IF IT IS THAT FILTHY, THE LITTLE GIRL WILL ALSO SMELL. BEEN THERE DONE THAT . I HAD A NEIGHBOR THAT HAD 100 DOGS IN SIDE AND OUT . AND CATS . NO HAIR ON THEM . THANK GOD AFTER ABOUT 10 YEARS OF EVERY ONE IN THE NEIGHBOR HOOD COMPLAINING .THE LAW FINELY CAME AND DONE SOME THING ABOUT IT . I WOULD JUST TELL MY LITTLE GIRL THEY ARE TO BUSY . OR WHAT EVERY . I WOULDN'T LET HER GO .
2006-09-12 03:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by tia c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, let your girls understand what's going on in the filthy house. Or if they're too young to understand, make up stories to scare them away from the house.
2006-09-12 03:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by Nevwe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree. Call Social Services. You will feel terrible if something happens to those children. I also like the allergic answer,but tell your girls the truth.
2006-09-12 04:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by robee 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you need to call child protective services and report the filthy conditions that the child has to live in. it cant possibly be healthy for the child and you dont know what possible illnesses the child could be carrying -- ie bodylice.
2006-09-12 03:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your situation sounds EXACTLY like one I used to be in (I was the forbidden child, not the mother). My mom sat me down and explained to me in excruciating detail why she didnt want me at my friend's house.... and tho I tried to convince her they wouldn't be a bad influence on me... I lost the battle lol.
I think you should just sit down and explain to her in words she can understand... and sympathsize with her longing to be with friends. I know its unconventional but maybe bribing her by offering to take her and her friend places? (like the mall.. movies.. raod trip.. ect) :)
2006-09-12 04:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by Ok 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋