does anyone have any funny jokes or other stuff?

Answer 1

A blind man enters a Bar. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things...

1 -- The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 -- The bouncer is a blonde gal.

3 -- I'm a 6 feet tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 -- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.

5 -- The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah...Not if I'm going have to explain it five times

Answer 2

There's a woman in a small office who suddenly realizes there's someone behind her. She turns around and sees a collie with a sign in his mouth - the one she posted in the front window half an hour ago:
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WANTED: Office Assistant
...Must touch type at 45 wpm, must be computer savvy,
...and MUST be bilingual.
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We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

"Well..." she says sarcastically, "you want the job - but can you type?"

So the dog puts the sign down, trots over to the typing station, feeds some paper in and starts typing. Amazed, she reaches into her desk and pulls out a stopwatch to time the dog.

He's typing 60 words a minute - and it's letter perfect!

"Not bad," she admits. "How are you with a computer?"

The dog climbs out from the typing chair, trots over to a spare computer station, moves the mouse and then looks at her. At first, she thinks he doesn't know what's up - and remembers that SHE knows the password and he doesn't. After she enters the code, he starts surfing the web. He checks the e-mail, calls up Word, and then pulls up a spreadsheet.

At this point, she says, "You are pretty impressive. It's really a shame I can't hire you."

At this, the dog goes back to the sign on the floor and points with his paw at the words, "We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

She thinks a moment, and then says, "There's one problem - you're not bilingual..."
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...and after a moment more, the dog looks up at her and says, "Meow!"

Answer 3

Was this a mistake on Google's part?

1- Go to www.Google.com

2- Type in Failure

3- Look at it the first listing and laugh at what comes up first

4- Tell other people before the people at Google fix it

Answer 4

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Answer 5

What did one saggy boob say to another?

We better get some support soon or people will think we are nuts.

Answer 6

Those were very good. LOL