OK so I have a bit of an issue. I am 27 and dating around. It seems that at my age there is an unwritten rule that you have sex after the 3rd date....anyway, I normally don't go that far unless I really like the girl, but my issue is that I get a little nervous the first and, well, the stage fright kicks in. Eventually I get comfortable enough (maybe like 5th or 6th try/date) I am good to go and never look back. My question is how to explain my lack of performance for the first few try's. And how does a girl take that kind of this. Do they get pissed. understand, think I am gay. think I don't like them?? Also, how can I keep it from blowing up in my face meaning not having her think I am some toolbag.
2006-09-11 18:56:02 · 10 answers · asked by allcharm97 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you had negative experiences with girls expecting sex? I'd think that they'd appreciate the fact that you aren't pressuring them to do anything that they aren't comfortable with before they are ready to. Stress and pressure can cause performance problems. You shouldn't worry, it'll only make matters worse. I think that you should take things slow and progress at whatever pace you are comfortable with. Enjoy making out and fore play. Getting there is half the fun, you know? A girl would probably feel insecure about how attractive you consider her. You should just tell her that you're feeling kind of tense and that you'd like to focus on fore play. I'm sure she won't mind.
2006-09-11 19:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by Kami 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all these writers aren't giving you the straight scoop. The reason you have this "stage-fright" is because your partner is A STRANGER. Give this some time, partner. There is no rule that the third date is the sex date. I've never heard of such a thing. I married, but I don't think I ever had sex with anyone until I new them for months and months. Why don't you wait until the girl is your best friend, then you can talk about it beforehand...get it out in the open and it will be great. Try it this way once and see if it helps.
What's a toolbag?
2006-09-11 19:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by marjie8230 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its natural on the first date you may feel that, but if the lady with you really likes/love you and theres no problem at all. as long as you both enjoy doin it, no question about it. the longer period of time being together and making every precious moments, you will actually notice that you are human longing, needing to be with someone. i dont think you're a gay, or if even you are a gay, then you are very lucky, cuz youve been through this stage. just go on and enjoy life to the fullest.
2006-09-11 19:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Salvacionf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a woman really has that much of an issue with it, she isn't worth your time. When a guy can't finish the job for himself, I just think, well, I don't get all the way everytime. Are you willing to finish her off? I don't think many women are going to be that upset about it. We understand nerves, we really do, and if you go so far to say at the outset, let's just see what happens, it might take a few swings for me, if she is worth your time, she will be fine with it.
2006-09-11 19:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What rule book are you going by.? if it feels good at the first date do it. You need no one's permission. Don't act nervous, watch some porn , get a few pointers. Just don't mistake your date for one of those girls on the porn you'll watch. It really doesn't happen that way. I'm just saying for techniqes and stuff. Don't be thinking that because you watch it, every girl who see's you is going to open up her shirt to you and be willing to give you oral.
just be yourself. Let it flow..
2006-09-11 19:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think they think ur any of that stuff... they miight think that u just arent who they thought you were. if you really like a girl then you shouldnt be nervous around her so you should be yourself and be comfortable around her. work on your lines by thinking about what to do or say so you will know it and not freeze up when your around a woman. and good luck!
2006-09-11 19:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by yeahh..its..me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're concern about what the partner you're with at the moments thinks, that's where the question is the partner you're with. whats she's into, is she calm or wild... if she's calm I think she'll be more understandable if she's wild I think she'll expect you to perform in a more timing manner and a more aggressive one.
2006-09-11 19:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest to her. If she really likes you back, she'll understand. She'll probably even help you out on it.
Good luck!
2006-09-11 18:59:57 · answer #8 · answered by OnThe36th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry it is natural, and will be normal after some try
2006-09-11 19:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by Shammi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love and understanding come to my mind
2006-09-11 19:03:22 · answer #10 · answered by wanttolpve 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋