I met this guy through here and yahoo 360. He is really interested in me. Over 2 wks. time he has called me on IM many times and we've had many chats. He is away right now and keeps calling me. He is very nice and sounds like he is getting serious. There's one problem. I'm in love but I don't see the person. I've never even been with them. I don't know what to do. I don't want to pursue another relationship as I love another so very much, seriously I'm not fooling. I've been through a deep depression over this love that isn't going anywhere. So I guess I need help as to whether I should promote this other relationship with someone who lives 2800 miles away from me. It'll be just as bad as what I'm going through now. I guess I won't get to see either one no matter what. I am ready to throw the towel in and just lay down and don't do much of anything anymore. What do you think is the right move for me. I need serious help, not insolent and snide answers?????
I am really ill over it all.
2006-09-11 18:55:22 · 11 answers · asked by silhouette 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Been there, done that. I tried dating someone else, but it didn't work. Mainly cus I couldn't get past the first step, because I'm 'infatuated' (I don't like to use that word to describe myself, but unfortunately, that's what it is) with HER. Sadly my original feelings aren't going away. I've tried drugs and alcohol, to try and forget about her and put her out of my life, but it didn't work. Now that I've quit both, my mind is A LOT more clearer, yet I can't get HER out of my mind. It's been over a bloody year now, and I'm still in the same place I was a year ago. I've come to the conclusion that you WON'T find the answer you're looking for HERE.
The only thing I can SUGGEST is, to try a REAL-LIFE relationship with someone else. Online could be a healthy start in the right direction (even though I've always detested the internet for that purpose), but bare in mind that it will only be TEMPORARY until you realize WHAT you REALLY want, and HOW you intend to, seriously, go about getting it.
Sadly, I've just given you the answer that most others on this site will give you, which is: TIME.
I personally despise that answer, because it's too simple. [Do I sound simple-minded to you?] However, it's what I'M going with at the moment. Right now I'm just focusing on my career (or lack there-of -- that's how I see it anyway) and putting aside 'love' -- if such a thing even exists. I doubt that I'll ever get back to it though. Anyway, good luck.
2006-09-11 21:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by 1/6,833,020,409 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, no one is more aware than you of just how deeply hurt you have been by the loss of your former relationship. The best thing you can do right now like everyone who has lost someone is to take your time, heal your wounds, get back in touch with yourself, and above all, don't rush into a relationship too soon. It isn't fair to someone interested in you, if you aren't truly ready to put yourself fully into a new relationship.
Right now, I can only imagine you are tasting the bitterest side of life. Life must seem pretty empty and grim; and love must seem foolish and even pointless. You are wounded. Do your best just to make it through each day. Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. And if you can, spoil yourself. You will survive. You will heal. Maybe not today, or this week, or even perhaps this month. But you will heal. Give yourself time. Explore your hurt and work through it. You are experiencing one of the most intense and also universal experiences of all human beings: loss. You probably won't feel like doing anything, but now would be the perfect time for you to pick up something creative: painting, sculpture, writing, even cooking. Pour the hurt out and examine it. This is, and I mean this sincerely, a great opportunity for self-exploration. You are in a place where you can either wallow or you can grow and come out the other side of this better than you were before.
If you can work your way through this and give yourself time (I, personally, would suggest that you delay seeking a relationship for no less than six months.) to heal and to discover more about yourself, then by the time you're ready for a relationship, there will be one waiting for you almost on your doorstep.
There is someone wonderful out there waiting for you, who will accept you, both good and bad, and be completely enchanted. Take care.
2006-09-12 15:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont sound like the type of person who can handle long distance. And the 2nd guy youve known for only 2 weeks? A relationship going nowhere is no relationship at all. You need some YOU time. Theres no point wasting time being depressed over situations you cannot change.
Get out of the house, go out with friends, take up some new hobbies or classes and meet new people - people you can see, who you can get to know in person. Have fun!
Good luck!!!
2006-09-12 02:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didnt you say you were in love? If youre truely in love than why even let yourself get close enough to someone whether it be chat or on a face to face thing...you knew what you were doing from the beginning, if you didnt feel you were missing something in your current relationship you would of never ever sought anything other than your true love? I know i couldnt. How would you feel if he did it to you? wow i dont understand how you can just throw your loves feelings aside and look at another.....get out of bot of the relationships and look elsewhere for someone who can tolerate you!!!!!!
2006-09-12 02:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being madly in love with someone you haven't met and actually known in person is just an infatuation. Try not to confuse being "madly in love" with being "flattered by the attention". If this guy starts to take actions to move to where you live, then maybe he is really that serious.
2006-09-12 02:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by OnThe36th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give up,when the time is right the,right person will come along and as far as the one who is far away you can always visit each other and if it's meant to be for the two of you ,you can always find a mutual place to live so your next to each other in the mean time enjoy life
2006-09-12 02:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by dejhonna r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in love with another that lives closer then why did you start a thing with this other guy? Which guy would you rather be with? If you would rather be with they guy from the net then you HAVE TO MEET him or it will ALWAYS just be another fantasy that will NEVER be a reality.
2006-09-12 02:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by dabster 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't tell me that this other one from internet is arab or indian. because if he is u should abort him immediately. and if u re unhappy with your love - end it. re u afraid to be left alone? smtimes it is better. and u will be alone for some time. maybe for long time. but when u find smth new it will be perfect. turst me. good luck. abort arab immediately
2006-09-12 02:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2800 miles a way . sorry honey i don't think it will work.
2006-09-12 02:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by tia c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance never works
2006-09-12 01:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by G. C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋