family problems. what shout i do? i want us to be happy like before?

Question

my mom and dad are arguing. Normally, they argue and they are okay. But this time, they don't want to sleep in the same room. Neither one wants to give in. my dad has'nt ate for one day. they didn't talk at all today. Im sad and frightened. my mom is crying all the way in her room. and my dad been sleeping on the couch from just now. what should i do?

welll actually, i know their problems. Yest, my grandmother past away. and i left only my grandma who is on my father side. which means she's my father's mom.

the thing is, me, my sister and my brother, are closer with my mom's mother. and went she left us, we were crying so much. my mom too. on her funeral, my grandmother(myfather side) was there. we did'nt entertain her at all, because we were sad. and we were mouning over her death. So, my grandmother(my father side) went up to my dad, telling him how rude we were. My dad went up to us and scold us. and then on that particular day, after her funeral, he drag us all to my grandmother(my father side) house. He even left us behind when entering the elevator. When we were there, my mom were telling my grandmother about how rude he was. my mom was crying her heart out. and we all were. my brother raised his voice and asked him why he left everyone behind? all this happens because of jealousy.

well, truth about my father is, he is a very hot tempered man. he likes to throw his temper to everyone when he is fustrated of angry. and when this happens, he blame it on my mom. he was shouting away saying that my mom teach us to love her mom more.

and about my grandmother(beside my father), she's a very mean person. i guess all this happen because of her. she love making my family this way. well, i can see she treats my mother differently then the rest of her in-laws. she used scold my sister vulgarities when she talks a lot. tell me why we should love her after all this?!

Answer 1

My parents went through the same thing before they separated. My father started sleeping in our spare bedroom and I didn’t understand why. My parents had fought before but I had begged for my father to stay because I was one of the only kids in school that still had both of their parents under the same roof and that meant a lot to me. Looking back now, several times, thinking a lot on it I feel I might have made a mistake by guilting my father into staying. Now that I’m married I understand that sometimes things just don’t work out, every marriage has its issues and there will always be fighting. I understand its very hard for you, but honestly if you want your parents to be happy in their lives you need to leave things up to them. My father has now found a wonderful wife and my mother has grown to be very independent in her life. It was a rough time in my life, but you have to understand people fight and there is very little their children can do to "fix" things. I'm not trying to make this a downer answer I’m just trying to give my point of view and my opinion, which is simply that you should leave the decision making to your parents. They will do what is best for you, and their relationship. Sometimes its better off if they part ways because they might end up happier, you need to leave that up to time. People change, and that makes for a hardship in a marriage unless you are both willing to work together to stay together. My only good advice would be to suggest marriage counseling. Best of luck and remember, if you need to talk, don’t be ashamed. Don’t be ashamed to cry. Don’t be afraid to let your parents know how you feel, may that be hurt or hopeful. I hope this has helped.

Answer 2

After all has calmed down your parents will be ok, give them some space. Yes it was selfish of your father & grandmother this was not their day, it was your mother's family that EVERYBODY should have been focused on, there will be much tension in your family right now but know your mother has every rite to be hurt & angry at your father & it is their problem & has nothing to do with you.Your mother is hurting very deeply right now & so are you for a woman that meant so much to you guys. I lost my mother 2 years ago & I'm 46 and I am nowhere near having it not effect my daily life, sometimes when I look at my first grandchild (3 months old) I cry and want mama to see how pretty he is, I want to just pick up the phone and call her, but I can't & it hurts so bad. See no matter that your mother is grown her mother is the only person who she could take all her troubles to and she despertly misses her. She feels she was left alone even though she still has you guys it will take a few weeks for her focus not to be on her own grief. She and your dad will be ok & so will you. This might end up being a eye opener for your dad if your mother continues to be angry, the way you put it she may need to stand her ground & tell him & his mother that she needs both of their love right now. Give it some time and hug your mother everyday and tell her that you love her & understand she is hurting bad because if something happened to her you would feel horrible and not care what other people thought either. Even though they are mad be good to your daddy and mama right now.It sounds as if your father is already sorry if he's not eating, he most likely is ashamed of himself but will not admit it. Have a goonight sweetie & get some sleep so you can help your mother.

Answer 3

Death in the family can cause hugh tension but maybe your mom isn't being comforted like she need to be. Hopefully your dad will see that she needs him and decide to give in. Sometimes people who lose their parents lose their footing and stability but she will get it back. Just give her lots of hugs tell her you love her and be there. Sorry for your loss and I hope it gets better.

Just read the other details and it sounds like your grandma needs to get a grip and realize that you mom just lost her mom. Your dad should have stood up for u all and told her that it was not the day the spotlight is on her so move on.I'm so sorry all this is happening at this time but hang in there and help your mom hang in there too.

Answer 4

Sometimes you just have to wait. When someone dies in your family people need to grieve. And everyone grieves in different ways...

You can't choose your family and sometimes you have to love them in spite of themselves. Find compassion in your heart for the family around you. You will make it through this hard time one way or the other...and what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Your family will never be the same because it has changed. But change is good in the long run. Ya just gotta get over the bumps along the way. Hang in there honey...it will be okay

Answer 5

I think its too early for you to be worried. Sometimes parents fight, and they can be big fights, even over stupid things. You should talk to them about how you feel. Sometimes when parents know that what they are doing is affecting their children they are more likely to stop. Just sit down with both of them and say look; Im scared and I dont know why you two are doing this. Im sure they will understand, and hopefully things will get better. Im sorry your parents are fighting, but dont give up hope :)

I just read you last part. If one of your parents parents(your grandparent) died, things may be sad for a little while. Just make sure you tell your mom everyday how much you love her. Try to do nice things for her without her asking you to. Things will get better, they just need time to cope.

Answer 6

It's a horrible problem and one that I'm not sure we can answer here. It's hard to love someone who is so difficult to everyone. Sometimes you have to just "tolerate" them for the sake of peace in a family. I hope your parents will begin speaking soon and work out their problems. I hope it was just that everyone was so grief-stricken that they acted poorly. I'm sorry you have to listen to them argue and worry about what might happen. Try to just talk with your brothers and sisters about it and make each other feel better until things really do get better.

Answer 7

yes , we all grieve,and some of us in a different way than others. Have som compassion for those who don't do anything other than start trouble. That might be their way of greiving. Yes the only fix and cure for a lost loved one is time and lots and lots of tears. You could throw in a couple of tantrums and fights. Those are called tears also.

Answer 8

This is again in-law problem! A lots of in-law jus like to find excuses to "blame" on their daughter in-law...aft all it her mum funeral of course every1 is sad...so y get jealous over of a dead person?

Just ignore them...yr dad will figure out soon or later...go console yr mum....she just lost her mother...at this time she need ppl to b around her....n too bad yr dad dun understand it... go talk to yr mum n company her, it a matter of time yr dad will "wake up"... dun wori too much... everytings will b fine..

Answer 9

he's you're father, he needs the perfect for ya, in some circumstances it rather is us babies making difficulty for them and while they have been given indignant we start to think of omg! why on earth my father is doing this to me? and we close our eyes on our blunders, or maybe there's a history at the back of your Father's acts, possibly he does not like they way you reside, consume, drink, sleep or staple products, so while you're elderly sufficient to challenge your life on your guy or woman ft ok get out of there and commence your life for your self and stay faraway from the kin for awhile, yet do basically no longer cut back to rubble! and don't abandon them! you like your loved ones help, so do no longer make each little thing circulate incorrect. btw i'm fantastically believe Saj and Sabrina's answer, maximum middle eastern families which contains Persians do in comparison to their daughters to be as loose as you're, no offence! :)

Answer 10

God loves you honey. You can talk to daddy God any time you like. He wants to adopt you :) He will give you peace through the acceptance of Jesus who forgives us all and saves every one of our tears in a bottle. (It says so in the bible!)

Here, this will do it: "Every tongue that rises against you shall fall, and no weapon formed against you or your family shall prosper, by the power the mightier name of Jesus, the name above all names!" You were right that the tension from the funeral wasn't helping matters. God will go with you to hug someone right now and watch God work in their hearts.