I have been with my boyfriend for over 9 months. I love him and so does he.....we feel so diffenrently about each other then we ever have. We know what we have is true love...but he has recently become so busy and been pushing me to the side. We argue over little things and they never get resolved because he gets mad and ignores them. He thinks we just need time apart but I feel this won't do anything but make us grow farther apart. Whats good advice to help us stay together? I know this could work....I'll do anything to make this work. The love...the chemistry....the bond...the understading is all there but what are we lacking or doing wrong? Help please!!
2006-09-11 18:24:34 · 15 answers · asked by chicgeek143 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay so I am not needy and clingy. I have given him space and time....I think he just doesn't know what he wants. If I don't call him for a couple hours he calls me right away. He loves me just as much as I do but he can't express so openly like I can. I am actually the one who suggested the break so he can figure out what he wants. So I am not the needy one......if I'm guilty of anything then its for loving someone so much and tryin to make it work.
2006-09-11 19:06:33 · update #1
maybe the passion is dying down and who he really is is coming out, or else he is just forgetting what is required to make a relationship work. Guys do that--we don't need half as much attention as most girls do. Just talk to him and he'll understand, if you two are really meant for each other.
2006-09-11 18:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by grenworthshero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"True love does not change, if change it finds."
What this means is that when you love someone, in spite of your heavy schedules, you will and must find time for each other. A relationship will not work, if only ONE person is doing all the sacrifice and being understanding and accommodating all the time. In the long run, you will get tired and perhaps get frustrated after sometime, especially if you marry and have children and he expects you to shoulder every responsibility with the children, because he is busy.
Love is a two way street - both of you have to want the same things and both of you have to think the same way or at least be prepared to compromise when you do not agree. Love is not just based on feelings from just one person.
You say your relationship has everything - I do not see the understanding - I only see your understanding, where is his?
For a relationship to work, you need more than this and it has to be from both sides, not just one person.
If you agree to do everything to keep this relationship, that you are just being a DOORMAT - that's all.
Therefore, really think about it, before you make any serious decisions.
So dear, take a good look at this relationship
2006-09-12 01:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by aew2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not sure you can "do" anything if a man makes up his mind he wants time apart. you can beg and grovel, and he'll stick around out of pity but not cause of what he wants. he stated what he wants, now you're scrambling around to figure out how to change what he wants. secondly you say the bond , the understanding is there. where is the bond when a man states he thinks he needs time apart from you?? and where is the understanding when he can't even deal with a problem because as YOU stated "they never get resolved because he gets mad and ignores them"?? perhaps what you really have is the "idea" of love, maybe even a heavy case of sexual chemistry. but other than that you may be looking at a dead relationship. dont be so needy, if he wants space, give it to him. if you lose him then get up,dust yourself off, and move on. it's hard, it hurts and the heartache is tough. it sucks! but you will live! i promise lol but such is love when both parties are wanting different things. (you wanting to stick it out, him wanting "time apart") you have to love yourself FIRST. if you cant find a man who can love the YOU you love than he's not worth your time. nothing wrong with letting go of a guy you love, because he's not as committed to you. it's not the end of the world! trust me ;) GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-12 01:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
anything to make it work?? now that is scary!
Not knowing how young you are it is hard to answer this.
Sometimes being busy takes a toll on a relationship.
Also, many of us have a period of time with the chemistry and all that goes with the buzzz of being in new love......then we expect that level of excitment happen forever. That level of passion is addictive......we get it for a time, then spend a lifetime trying to get it back.
Make sure your expectations arn't too high. It can set you up for a life time of disappointments
2006-09-12 01:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you see a stop sign, do you stop? If you see a yield sign, do you yield? This guy is showing you signs, and yet you're ignoring them! If he says he wants space, give it to him -- and go out and have fun. By the time you get him off your mind, he'll either want to do all he can to get back with you, or he'll move on. You sound clingy. Men don't like clingy. In the words of Maya Angelou, "If a person shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!"
2006-09-12 01:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by chinky95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"some time apart" is not such a bad idea. I myself am a 'military fiance' since 5 years now and therefor know the effects separation. we love each so much, but it hasn't always been like that. we had the exact same problems like you guys when we had not felt the pain of separation yet. if he loves you, he'll call you after 2 weeks, telling you that he 'misses you sooo bad'
2006-09-12 01:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by Milka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you sound a little desperate...I've been there I know...what has changed to make him want to be more distant? Maybe he needs some space. If your communication was on a good level you should be able to talk this out without hurt feelings...yeah easier said than done..Don't be the only one willing to make it work...he has to want it as much as you...good luck.
2006-09-12 01:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by issiez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend more time together. He can't be THAT busy.
In order for a relationship to flow, both of the sides need to cooperate.
It won't last if you give it your all and he doesn't. Have a serious talk with him about the time he spends with you. He needs to give the same effort into the relationship that you're putting in.
2006-09-12 01:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by zebo007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look you do need to give it space. IF its meant to be it will work out 4 you. BUT i have found out this on my own men dont like women to cling. So get busy on a project of your own.LOOK make your self scarce. He will come looking. AND if he dose leave look you were looking 4 some one when you found him. YOU say it dont work that way. Yes it dose. BE strong. STAND strong. AND if you part , if its meant to be you will get back to gether. TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT. good luck star
2006-09-12 01:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you clap with one hand don't think you can what ever you want to do you do.it also depend on your b/f to do the same if he is in love with you.he may be under stress ignore him for few day see if he contact you or not he will do so.i am sure till then don't take any pain.stay happy or pretend this to him
2006-09-12 01:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by Hind K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋