okay, so my bf and i are having problems we like never get to see eachother anymore becuase hes at school all day getting his GED and i'm working my *** off at work since day one we've been going out...
hes 23 i'm 20 i'll be turning 21 in oct. , he barley calls me anymore , and when we both have a day off its like he doesn't want to hang out... i don't feel like he loves me anymore and i kind of want to move on but at the same time i want to just let his schooling slide and my work not get the best of us , but i feel like he just doens't give a crap about me anymore and hes always hanging around this girl that is 17 , i know she likes him and i have a feeling hes seeing her on the side since they live right next to eachother , me i live like 10 mins away....
how can i tell him its over and give him back the promise ring without me getting all depressed and emotional again ,i don't want to let this affect my work , or my 21st birthday coming up...
i need all the help and advice PLEASE!
2006-09-11 17:14:39 · 22 answers · asked by Jenn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, sounds like you both need to go in seperate directions.
2006-09-11 17:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I swear I never thought I would ever say this since I can be extremely persistant when I want to be. Maybe the best thing to do would be to stop calling him. Completely ignore him. Cut him off. On the other hand, then you might feel like crap if he doesn't call you at all or try to reach you. You could try spying on him, just to prove to yourself that you are right about him and the other girl. Does he live at home with his parents? If not maybe you two could live together. Then you would know more of his whereabouts. I know it is hard to imagine not being with someone you care about. However, the more time you are away from him the easier it will be to move on. Besides he is 23 and only now getting his GED. The 17 year old girl is probably extremely naive and has no idea he even has a girlfriend. He seems untrustworthy and I'm sure you are a better person than him.
2006-09-12 00:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by ms. fix-it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(hugs) sounds like it's time to go your seperate ways...it's easier said than done...i know, i was with a guy for 7 years and that relationship never should have gone on that long. after we were together for a year and a half he cheated on me and i never really trusted him after that, but i stayed with him because he was my comfort zone. don't stay with him just because you feel comfortable with him...it's not worth it! especially since you're going to be 21...there are a lot of guys out there that you haven't even encountered yet!! no matter how you give him back the promise ring and tell him it's over, it's going to hurt you...you care for this guy, you probably always will. it will be hard for a while, probably until you meet someone else that makes you more happy than he ever did...yes, that is possible!!
how ever the break up goes...don't make the mistake of talking to him for no particular reason afterwards...even if he says he wants to be friends. eventually he will sweet talk you into getting back together with him (when things don't work out with the 17 yr old bimbo) and do the same things over.
My heart goes out to you...i know what it's like and it's really hard since you two live so close to eachother...and probably will run into one another here and there. You're not the only one that this has ever happened to...you will prevail!!
If you like my answer and want to email me, feel free.
Good Luck!
2006-09-12 00:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by Brookelynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his behavior has already pretty much said "it's over"
Mail him the ring back or drop it offat his hom with a short - sweet note , keep it simple and nonconfrontational- just let it go- he is probably justifying not saying anything because he "doesn't eant to hurt you" Kind of the cowardly way of avoiding a confrontation. If he really wants a relationship with oyu, he will fight for it and you will know that it is worth it to him. Otherwise, if he is seeing someone else, I would be the mature party and quietly and gracefully bow out. No finger pointing or accusations - let it go and move forward with your life focusing on getting your life in order.
2006-09-12 00:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could breaking up be any more emotional or depressing than what you feel now? Most likely not. You're young...don't settle for a relationship that has no substance. There are so many guys out there that are willing to put the time & energy into a relationship to make it work. Obviously your boyfriend's time & energy is being put towards other things or other people. Don't waste yours, put yours towards yourself, you deserve it!
2006-09-12 00:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, sry to say, it sounds like its over. i was reading this magazine and it had an article entitled "20 ways hes saying its over" and it was 20 guys saying what they do when they dont want to be w/ a girl nemore. 1. they call less and less 2. they avoid u (the never really getting together thing) and i dont remember the rest....but the point is....hes showing signs of the 2 i do remember. lol. so yeah sry but it sounds like u should break it off......it doesnt sound like its meant to be. hope everything works out! good luck
2006-09-12 00:20:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I soooo feel for you in this situation.
Given what you said, I think that his interest in the relationship is fading. I cannot understand why someone who would be interested in you and cares for you would not want to spend his free time with you.
If I were you, I would have to let him show you that he wants to be with you. The other option is to just ask him directly. It takes a strong person to confront this issue. It takes a stronger person to be prepared to hear the wrong answer.
Good luck!
2006-09-12 00:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by MYSTICHROME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie at 22 I was already dating serious businessmen and attorneys going to the best places going to hawaii. Wake up your man is getting a GED What kind of future will you have with him. I am 27 and married now and live in a hi rise in the galleria area. Dump him and get a real man. IYOu dude is a loser.
2006-09-12 00:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by LETICIA P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go direct to your guy,, ask him if the real problem,, maybe it is you or maybe its him,, or both of you,,
fixed it as soon as possible,,
now if you really think that you want to call it quits,,
tell him,,, remember your decision today will determine the end result of your relationship,,
sometime being frank is not bad,,as long as it will help both of you,,
if you're still inlove with him,,, why dont you give him a big surprise on your coming birthday,,
dont be insecure with that 17yr old girl,,
you have plenty of things to boast for,, insecurities will surely put you down,,,
and dont let youre pride work this time,,
love you!!
hope i did help,,
muah!!!
2006-09-12 00:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by mhykz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sell the ring. You don't need someone who is 23 and just getting their GED. Move up!
2006-09-12 00:17:34 · answer #10 · answered by kvsmiller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, forget about him. Concentrate on you job. If ever he will return to you, just be aloof. Try to see if he's just trying to take advantage of you. Life must go on. You're still young and full of hope. If ever he will not visit you, especially on your birthday, well, that means you are not meant for each other.
Give yourself such space where you can breathe fully and relax. Take care. GOD BLESS US ALL.
2006-09-12 00:26:18 · answer #11 · answered by Mutya P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋