I remembered him unbuttoning my shirt and.. (help)?

Question

what the hell was he trying to do?

okay, here's my story. I went to my friend's birthday party. I got really drunk and my best friend, brian, sent me home. he put me on my bed and as I could remember him unbuttoning my shirt and kissed me on my neck. I pushed him away and said "what do u doin'?". he said he liked me and was sorry. he then left.
The next morning, I woke up, 3 buttons of my shirt were in fact undone. I asked my roommates if they saw him leaving that night. they said yes. was he trying to rape / molest me? wtf! what should I do?

He is my best friend! i feel like i've been badly betrayed!

I did go party with bunch of male and female friends. this guy is my best friend. nobody could expect he would do such thing. he is not a stranger to me. maybe i should learn not to trust ANYONE.

Answer 1

Ignore those people who gave bad comments about you as it will only bring you down and low self-esteem. I believe everyone experiences getting drunk and having someone to send them home, esp, during college time. i believe you trust him enough to bring you home safely. you should have ur own reason why him!?, why not other guys?
You did a right thing by pushing him away and said stop. as you know, in that kinda of situation, it's really hard for someone to turn sex down when you're so hot and drunk. so you did do a right thing. he sounds like a not-bad guy to me. at least he respected what u asked him to do. perhaps, he couldn't control himself at that moment. i think he has feelings for you. tell him how this pissed you off and hope he won't ever do it again. to remain Friends with him, you should forgive him else, no friendship anymore. good luck.

Answer 2

As a guy, if the woman is hammered I will not to try anything, both on principle and for my own protection. On principle, if I am going to have sex with a drunk woman I want to be certain she would also consent while sober. I am never so desperate that I would try to take advantage of someone being drunk just to get a laid.

As for protecting myself, I don't want the woman waking up and not remember what happened and claimed she was raped. I've been in enough bars and seen enough women hammered acting totally out of character, going home with a complete stranger.

I say this because a friend of mine was raped after getting hammered. The details were fuzzy as to what happened. He claimed she was a willing participant. She claimed she was not (and I sided with her).

I do get hammered time-to-time. I wake up not remembering parts of the previous night. If I were a woman, I could have been in a very dangerous situation. Women need to be extra careful when drinking. Just how it is.

No matter what you do, write in a journal what you remember in all the detail that you can. You might need it if you decide to press any charges. Your so-called friend acted completely inappropriate.

Answer 3

Well, unfortunately, he was taking advantage of your inebriated condition and felt that circumstances were in his favor of him getting laid. Since you woke up with your clothes still on your body, and your roommates are testifying that he left right after he brought you home, then I don't believe he raped you, but his unwanted advances have made you feel that he is less than a friend and more like a creepy offensive jerk that gets hand-sy with the girls he likes at inopportune moments. In the future, since this guy thinks more with his little head than his big head, I would steer clear of him while partying. If you do not want his advances, tell him so, and do not let yourself be alone with him. Also, try not to let yourself get so drunk that you lose grip of consciousness.
My best friend was drug raped while she was partying because she let her defense down and trusted that every guy out there is going to treat her in a respectful manner. Just watch yourself.

Answer 4

I think that the next time you go out drinking (cuz I know you're going to, so telling you not to would be pointless) take a girl friend with you for support. Never let a guy take you home when you are drunk....have a girl take you home. And if you don't have a girl friend with you at the party, don't drink so much that you get so drunk you can't remember things from the night before.

Answer 5

You probably don't remember what happened. But he did respect the fact thatyou said no. Yes, he's a jerk but you put yourself in that situation. If I were drunk I would not have a guy bring me home. He is obviously not your friend because he thought you were a different kind of girl. Just be careful the next time you get drunk, you might not have been so lucky.

Answer 6

Well, he likes you. If he was trying to rape or molest you he would have and he would not have apologized. Also, getting that drunk is stupid. I wasted my life away like that for 10 years. Don't get to the blackout point or you'll wake up in a situation you really don't like someday. Be thankful your friend respected you and weny awy peacefully. Maybe if he is your best friend you should make him your man. If you can have both in one person, consider yourself a lucky girl. He was not raping you, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard and the chic who said he is crazy must be crazy herself. He just thought he'd have a better chance at it when you were wasted, but he got embarrassed. You shoulda kissed him back.

Answer 7

One idea would be to talk with him about it. In an open public space, perhaps a park that always has people in it, so it doesn't get too uncomfortable.

I suspect he was probably a little drunk too. But you should make it clear that you weren't ok with his behavior. It sounds like he's ashamed of it, if he remembers it,. And if he isn't then he should be, and the person to make him feel that is you. He needs to learn self-control.

I think it's good to get things off your chest and deal with this issue so it doesn't eat you up inside. But you have to do what is best for you.

Answer 8

I doubt he was going to actually rape/molest you because he didn't. It sounds like he stopped as soon as you said something. If you were too drunk to remember some of the facts, then how do you know you did not do anything to lead him on at first. Why not confront him while you are both actually sober and fix the "misunderstanding" rather than keep mixed up feelings about the situation.

Answer 9

Yup he's sick. Stay away from him. It's the lowest of the low type of guys who try to get with you when you're drunk. It doesn't matter how he truly felt, it's pretty selfish and sick of him to make his move when you're in such a vulnerable state. I don't think he was trying to do anything illegal, hopefully not anyway. But he was probably trying to get away with whatever you let him. Just be lucky that you did in fact have enough awareness to push him away. Be careful, cuz next time it might not be a close friend. I'm all for drinking pop & juice! put some grenadine in it and u have a fun drink without the danger or the sickness or the headaches or the consequences, or the dUI charges...

Answer 10

Was he drunk too? If so, your friend should be kept away from drink. Alcohol can cause people to act in many ways that they normally wouldn't. If he was sober, perhaps he is not the friend you thought he was. In the end, you have to confront him and ask him for the truth. Only he can give you the real answer. Either way, you need to tell him that it was unacceptable. You have every right to be completely pissed at him. The choice to forgive him, however, is soley up to you.