who do i choose?

Question

i've been w/ my boyfriend, 'bob' for a while now. he's truly the perfect boyfriend. he's always there for me, but sometimes i think that he's just there physicaly, but not mentaly. he really cares about me. he tries to make me happy, but i really need my space. he's there all the time. even though we have our moments, most of the time i'm not happy. i don't feel it. exept for the feeling of suffication.
i met this other guy,'tim' a few days ago. we have a lot in common, and i feel so comfortable around him. he makes me laugh, and just feel better. he's there for me, but gives me my space. he knows about Bob and wants me to dump bob for him. i of course refuse. Tim is getting impatient of me rejecting him, and Bob knows there's something going on with me.
when i'm with Tim, i can't help but feel that i'm somehow betraying Bob. and the other day, i was with Bob, and i saw Tim's face instead.(awkward) it totally killed it. that's not right.

i can’t leave one for the other! can i? but it’s just not me. Tim is everything i look for in a guy, and Bob makes me feel really......... i don’t know. i don’t wanna leave Bob, but Tim.......
i feel as if i’m torn in between the two. what do i do?

Answer 1

OMG! it sounds like, my girlfriend is in your situation. in that case, i better leave my gf some space... umm... well.. let me ask you. do you feel the same about tim when you first met bob? is tim more like a crush and do you think he will change after and become bob?! have you spoke to bob and told him you need a bit of space? and if bob agrees to try and work on it.. will you leave tim?
thanks for asking this question.. because I think something's up with my gf and I know I might be sufficated her a bit.

also... another thing is... if bob think something is up... do you think he will try harder to be there for you. hence sufficate you even more?

I think the best thing is to tell tim you need sometime and think things through.. and not to speak to tim at all and see how you feel. in the mean time, work it with bob. and assure him that you are not seeing tim or someone else when bob is not around. if tim is so understanding, tim shouldn't have a problem with it. and if bob loves you.. he will try and give you some space(i know it's hard, because I'm bob!!!!)

I hope this answers your question.... and I hope my gf isn't seeing someone else :S

Answer 2

Of course you can leave one guy for the other. That happens all the time. Often we think we have found something great only to realize how lacking it is once it's put into perspective. Tim sounds like the guy for you, although I feel skeptical about the forcefulness of his approach. For me that would be a huge turn-off and quite enough for me to not consider him even if I was alone, let alone if I was with another guy. But you have to decide what you feel best about. But I would like to caution you about Tim. He may turn out to be a very, VERY bad boyfriend if you do chose him. If it was up to me, it tell Tim to go away, permanently, and then I'd think about how to break up with Bob. It doesn't seem like you two should be together. That's just my two cents.

Good luck. I hope you do find the right guy :)

Answer 3

Wow, you got a big problem. You have to think of it this way, do you really love BOB or are you not wanting to break it off because you are scared of hurting him. If you love him then you should try and work it out. If your just scared of hurting him think about this. Everybody at least once in thier life gets hurts and time will heal his pain. It would be a lot different if you were married. Follow your heart though, it is the only thing that can make this situation right.

Answer 4

Get on a train, a plane or whatever and get out of there.
You are playing with fire.
I am not a violent man, but if I thought my mate was cheating on me, the first thing I think about is machine guns and bombs.
I have a beautiful wife. when I was single, if I saw a girl that looked like her I would think about getting with her, at all costs.
When I was younger it almost cost me my life.
I do not know how old you are, but until you learn the rules of engagement, you maybe should stop having any relationship.
Mature a little more, grow up before you get into trouble.
I used to be Tim, When I finally got what I wanted I forgot your name.
Any male that tries to get a girl that is in a relationship is either smitten with love for the girl, or has a lack of respect for the girl, and especially her mate.
that sounds like Tim to me.

Answer 5

Keep Bob as a friend. Bob sounds like a really great person, and you should maintain your relationship. However, if you're not romantically turned on by him, then you shouldn't keep him as a romantic interest.

Tim gives you space when you need it. He's there for you when you need it.

Think about it. Which one, in thirty years, would you still love and would be able to support you? If Tim's a slacker, don't fall for him! If they're both like that, just say "Feh!" to boys for a month.

Answer 6

I am sorry for your situation and all you need to do, is listen to your heart and make sure who is the best for you! The most important is YOUR happiness for your own life. I had a similar story like you had and I have been crying almost very day for several months, but now I stop the crying and I almost make up my mind. I will be going to choose the best man for me and hopefully I made a right decision. If not, maybe I will get out off everyone and then start a new life by myself and see what's future will be in front me? However, I believe that life is beautiful out there, you always have your chance to make it better! Good Lucky!

Answer 7

This going to sound cold, but leave them both.

Bob is obviously not doing it for you and believe it or not there are a MILLION Tim's out there.

If you leave Bob for Tim, at some point you will regret hurting Bob and Tim will eventually feel it as well. it's not fair for either.

leave them both. Spend sometime alone with yourself to find out who YOU are, then wait for someone new to enter your life.

Answer 8

this is a process of finding true love. first you met 'A' and found 'B' is much more better than 'A'. if this is aobut your happiness, you will chhose what is best for you. i know 'A' is good but along this oad you found 'B' is the one you are looking most so i think you have already decide. you just can't put down 'A' you have been so long with him and you felt sorry for him because you have foundthe better one. there is two option:
1) Continue together with 'A' , plan getting married if you think
the relationship is ready. 4get 'B'.
2) Brake up with "A" and go together with "B".

A:bob
B:tim

Answer 9

Ask Bob for some space, tell Tim to chill out, and when you can have a minute alone to think, then make your decision.
Or you could have them swordfight for your love...lol.

Answer 10

tim