If I am fed up with my life. Would it be wrong to try to live a life of solitude?

Question

Like Threauo, holyman, or hermits. I've always liked the outdoors..the ocean especially. I pretty much gave up on women and I've lost all my friends for like the 5th time now. the docs say I have depression or bi-polar. I just think people don't like me or don't understand me. I don't fit in anywhere and I'm always called wierd(whatever that means). I don't want to run away it;s just that I like the peace when I'm alone. It helps me think straight. Do you think I could be happy this way..all alone?

nah cloud..i just like the peace of nature..and I just don't like people all that much

Answer 1

You sound like me and the way I feel sometimes, I do not have but one close friend and I want it that way. My wife worries about my lack of friends but I assure her that I am very happy. I love my home and do not want to leave as I do not do well in crowds at malls. What I think one of my main problems is I just do not want all the drama that comes with having friends and I am to lazy to make the effort to make more friends. The key word here is happy and I am happy with this arrangement. Sorry for using myself as an analogy but I thought it might help you see where I am coming from. Dr. Joyce Brothers has address this before in her writings and she has stated, this is not an exact quote: that there is nothing wrong or weird with someone that wants to spend time alone.

The bottom line is I understand just as long as your thoughts are healthy and you feel happy. What I mean by that is, not suicidal or wanting to hurt people because you do not like them thinking that you are different. I do not know if I helped but if I did good luck.

Answer 2

That is a valid choice IF can find a place and way to feed yourself. That is much harder today than you might suspect.

However, first do yourself a favor and go to www.emofree.com

Read the manual which is free for the download. If it makes sense, buy the $60 video and learn to do EFT to see if you can be changed and make yourself happy with other humans around.

If not, then look hard at how you are going to live alone. There might be jobs that are very solitary. Do they still herd sheep in the Western mountains? ?That has typically been the haven of people like you, and you can get food and money for the winter time.

Ask if they still have isolated fire watchers in national parks.

Also, snoop around yahoo, looking for the Avoidant Personality Group, my son is avoidant and I also was when I was young. Your question gives a textbook description of Avoidant.

Yes, many people have been happy living a solitary life.
They are called hermits. Thoreau actually never lived as a hermit, though those whose knowledge of him comes from the public schools may think so, In WALDEN, he plainly says he went downtown nearly every day to chat with people, and had many visitors in his shack while living on Walden Pond.

Answer 3

Before you get to there, have a good study of the "Rime of the Ancient Mariner". There are some key things you need to know and understand from that book.
The ancient mariner that told the story would be seen to be a bit strange. He had a job in society though and it was an important one. There are a number of key truths that are in the book. The key one is that no man is an island.
The rest of the world needs you around for your input into our lives. Remember how the ancient mariner was accepted before he got his message out.

It is fine to find peace when you are alone. I am in the same boat. It is good to have the ability to think and regroup when you are among people that think you are weird.
You don't have to run away to join a monastery to see how a life of solitude would be. A weekend or a week at a monastery could give you a good picture of what it might be like.
The other concern is related to your diagnosis of bipolar. I would want to see that levelled out before making a big decision about going to live a life of solitude.

Answer 4

If you're unhappy with your life how would you feel being alone with your self 24/7? There are so many people in the world and we all feel misunderstood or unliked at some point in time and very often a large majority of the time....you say you suffer from bipolar and depression and those are symptoms of those diagnosis es... are you taking medication. Sometimes the serotonin levels in our cerebral system need a boost, that requires the medication...but, too often people don't take the meds because, they don't want to have the label or stigma attached to the medication... if you haven't tried it though, you need to... so that you can at least determine if it helps you or not.

Answer 5

It is not healthy to separate yourself from people no matter how annoying they are. Some contact generates at the least some emotion and interest. It's what keeps you sane. Very few people manage to live totally alone. When you hear of hermits etc. you will usually hear they were also are long gone in the head department. Depressions a ***** man, but grab yourself by the *** and get back on the life wagon.

Answer 6

Join the other 450 million americans will depression.
And maybe you should read up on bi-polar and understand its imbalances, and maybe get medication for mood stabilizer, anti depressants, tranquilizers, etc. If you keep looking down on yourself, it's just going to get harder. You need to realize, life ain't too bad if you just work on it a little. And shiite, being weird is fine, just don't be creepy, that's the bad one. I'm weird, I have no tact, I don't care what people think about me, I am my own person, eventually, someone will think it's cool and hang out with me. Lay back a little and don't give a shiite so much, it works.

Answer 7

i think you're the only one who can answer your own question whether you can be happy being alone or with other people, since you have tried and compared both lifestyle - so which fits you the best? I am a loner too, my friends say i'm too independent. i separated from my husband and i decided i am just not for marriage. but i have my kids to raise, so i am not really alone. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. You can be alone, but not lonely - as against being surrounded by lots of people, but even then, still inwardly lonely. which state do you ever care to live by, really depends on you.

Answer 8

First, I am NOT fed up with my life, nor have I ever been. Second, I DO live a solitary lifestyle, by myself in a big house in the woods just outside of a small town. My only interaction with people is when I go to the post office to get my mail or the grocery store to buy food for the next week or on occasion, when I meet a friend for dinner out. YES, I am HAPPY living by myself. I know a number of people who are just like me, both men and women, happy to live a solitary life on the fringe of humanity. This does NOT mean NO other people, just none very close to me (us).

I am a "singleton" as they say. I tried the therapy route as have several I know and we all found out it is normal for some people to have a minimal contact with others. We seem to mostly be a very self-reliant, self-centered group, depending on ourselves to keep ourselves occupied. I can entertain myself. I am never bored as I always have something I want to do and I am always looking for something new to learn. The key as I get it from therapy is this: being able to entertain yourself. If I can provide my own entertainment, then it follows I do not NEED anyone else unless I WANT to interact. There is a difference between a hermit and excluding everyone else and a singleton who does interact, but on choice not necessity.

The key for me is a circle of good friends, but very loose friends, friends I may not see for days or even weeks at a time, and in the case of my very BEST friend, who I have known since I was 4 years old, there have actually been literal YEARS between letters or phone calls, but we seem able to pick up exactly where we left off like no time has passed. So, is this normal? Maybe. I just know that for the last 5 years, I have lived iin my house, on the edge of town in the woods and I never see my neighbors, and the only time I see any people is when I go to town for one reason or another, and I am HAPPY with my existence the way it is today. Years ago, when I was married and raising a son, I would not have said this, as my family was really a necsssity for my stability. But, she left me for another man, and I learned to cope with being by myself and avoiding boredom, thus me becoming my own entertainment., which lessens any need I felt to have others close to me.

Being single is NOT a crime, no matter what the married people tell you or lead you to believe, as society does as well, as I think on it. You are as happy as you want to be. My friends DO think I am a bit wierd! There is no escaping what they think, but what YOU think of yourself, now THAT is the key to happiness in life. If you NEED others to be happy, then depression or bi-polar may be a cause of your unhappiness and not being professionally trained, I cannot make a diagnosis, I can only tell you what I have found out for myself, and what you must find out for yourself.

Where I live, in the trees just outside of town, it IS quiet, especially so late at night when the road traffic goes away and that is the time I find the most peaceful for me, late at night, hearing the ticking of an antique windup pendulum clock at the far side of the house, and hearing the motor in the refrigerator start or stop. I was at sea in submarines for many years and noises became very important to me, an unusual noise starting, a normal noise stopping, will wake me immediately and sometimes it takes me a moment to figure out what it was that woke me.

So, my answer is this: YES, you can be happy, as I am and several others I know as well, living on the fringe, as a singleton in life.

Answer 9

Maybe you are just the Avoidant Personality, go see a psychiatrist


Essential Feature: A pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation (DSM-IV™, 1994).
Self Image: Socially inept, anxious, incompetent, unattractive, refer to self with contempt (Beck, Millon).

View of Others: Assumed to be critical, betraying, uninterested, demeaning, and humiliating (Beck, Millon). Believe that others will treat them as they have been treated in the past.

Relationships: Avoid social contact out of fear of rejection; wish for acceptance but cannot tolerate the anxiety generated by interaction; "lonely loners" (Benjamin, Oldham).

Authority Issues: Fear authority figures; vulnerable to humiliation. Will tend to be compliant but will also withhold significant information.

Behavior: Seem awkward, uncomfortable, timid, shy, distrustful, apprehensive, fearful, and tense. They impose a strain on others when interacting (Millon, Sperry).

Affective Issues: Feel lonely, unwanted, fearful, and different; dysphoria, emptiness and depersonalization (Millon, Benjamin, Sperry).

Defensive Structure: Distracted and preoccupied, hyperalert, acutely perceptive observers; withdrawn and maintain low expectations; socially, cognitively, and emotionally avoidant

Answer 10

Hell, no, it wouldn't be wrong. Go take it for a proverbial spin, then come back and tell us how you like it.

Cloud, it looks like he's got schizoid personality disorder.

The major characteristics of schizoid personality disorder are:

1) No desire for social relationships: People with schizoid personality disorder have no desire to form close relationships. They may form stable relationships with family members or other people but they lack the ability to form close relationships.

2) Little or no sex drive : Individuals with this disorder have little sex drive and rarely date or marry. Men are more likely to remain single than women probably because they lack the social skills to initiate courtships. Women may passively date and marry, but will remain emotionally aloof.

3) Preference for solitary activities : Some people with schizoid personality disorder are very creative, especially with art in the form of painting, sculpting, drawing, etc. Art may take the place of relationships. They typically remain in low level jobs that require little interpersonal contact.

4) Limited range of emotions : They have a restricted range of emotions in social settings. This is often described as coldness, detachment, or flatteness. People with this disorder appear to be indifferent to compliments and criticisms. They take little or no joy in activities or in life.