Mom and Dad are not married and he got eight years for burglary.Will this cause problems to the children?The two year old dont cry for daddy when she dont see him.
2006-09-11 16:09:04 · 30 answers · asked by loveson1990 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Many of my family members work at a prison. I think this is a terrible ideal because even though they are very young you will be surprised how much they remember and absorbed. The kids should never grow up thinking it is o.k and no big deal to be in prison. Why do you think the ones that are there now are in prison? Most of them had relatives who were in prison so they thought it was no big deal to be in prison and probably thought it was a normal way of life.
Kids need to grow up being afraid of prison so they don't end up there. What about 7 years from now and the kids are 8 and 9? Would you consider it then? If they get use to seeing their dad then they will continue to want to see him then you won't be able to stop them from going to the prison to visit him. Pretty soon this will be normal for them.
2006-09-11 18:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by lakecity21 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES! The kids should see their father! I'm a regular visitor at a maximum security prison and I promise that there's nothing menacing about the visiting rooms, except that half the people are all wearing the same clothes, it looks more like a kind of bland cafeteria than what TV has made you think a prison visiting area would look like and most places have games and some toys available. I see children of all ages there and they seem to be having a fine time. The search when you go in is pretty much like going through security at an airport, annoying but not traumatic and the correctional officers try really hard to make it easier for the kids. It is really, truly not that bad...especially when you consider the alternative, which is to deny the right of the children to know their father.
2006-09-12 03:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 2, my dad relinquished all parental rights so my mom wouldn't ask for child support (they made a deal, she didn't need the money and he didn't want to see us.)
When I was 8 years old, my dad started writing my mom from prison. That is the first place I saw my dad in 6 years. It didn't scar me for life.
I think your daughter should continue to let her kids see their dad. Even though she is their mother, it is not her place to tell them what she thinks of their dad, or even keep them from seeing him. If their dad is a criminal and worthless, they will figure it out on their own.
My dad was in jail when I was born, he was arrested on my 2nd birthday, he was in jail the next time I saw him, and he was in jail when I graduated high school. He was probably in jail other times too but I cant keep track. I know my dad was worthless. I know he was a drug addict, and an alcoholic, and good for nothing. My mom let me form my own opinions about him, she let me see him even though he relinquished his rights, she never said a bad word about him. If your daughter doesn't do the same, eventually her children will not respect her.
Visiting a prison is not scary for a child. There were rows of chairs, a few tables, and vending machines in a big room, and lots of people visiting their family members. Outside the room there was a fenced in playground. It really wasn't any different than being at school, except the fences were bigger.
2006-09-11 17:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by rccola1979 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For most 2 year olds out of sight is out of mind. Just because she doesn't cry for him doesn't mean she doesn't want to see him. That being said.... I think the mother needs to go and see how visitation is done. Is everyone in the same room? are there other people in the room with them? Can he touch them? Hold them?
If she takes them I would suggest a short visit the first time to see how it feels to her. Then proceed from there.
2006-09-11 16:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by Parisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should check into what is available for family visitations. Some prisons have special rooms that children are allowed to visit their jailed parent in.
No matter what he has done, he is the father, and if your daughter wants her child to see the father, that has to be up to her and the father. If she has been visiting him, she certainly must love him. Not the best situation, but certainly her choice.
2006-09-11 16:20:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Working in a prison, I see both sides. It's good for him, and it's good for them, but it could be bad for them. If she is sure she is going to wait on him for 8 years, then I don't see a problem with it EVERY NOW AND THEN - not weekly or monthly. But if she's going to be with him, and he's going to take responsibility when he gets out then they need to know him, criminal or not. It's hard at that age to understand, in fact impossible, so I wouldn't say it's necessary for her to take them to every visit she goes to. Make sure she sends him plenty of updated pictures and letters. Not only will that help him, but help them. Also, have him send pics to her of him for the kids, another way to help them remember him without upsetting them because daddy can't come home right now.
I've seen it, I've watched it, it's hard. But like everything, kids in visitation has it's positives and it's negatives. Remember, if it's hard on the adults, it's even harder on a child, and even more so on a child you can't explain this to. It's an unfortunate event, but life's full of them.
God Bless ...
2006-09-11 16:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. He committed a crime while he had those children... he knew the consequences. Why should kids be exposed to that environment... I don't care how old or how much they understand. He can see their pictures... they don't need to know dad as a prisoner. And what happens to them as they get older? Will they continue to visit? They will be ostracized in school for having a jailbird dad. Better they never see him there or know he's there.
2006-09-11 17:47:35 · answer #7 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Prison is not a place for children to me...personally I would not do it.Just because the man is the childrens father don't mean that they should be subjected to see him like that.We grown people hardly think about how things may affect kids and go on and do wrong things anyhow.But I say no for taking the kids up there.If she wants to go then tell her to go on but leave the kids at home.
2006-09-11 16:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hard to say what the lasting effects would be on young children like that.
I would say that the odds are pretty good that your daughter will move on and lose interest in a guy with 8yrs behind bars, so it's probably best that you just stand by and wait. The visits will stop alot sooner if your daughter thinks its her decision and not yours.
2006-09-11 16:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-07 03:41:32 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋