I have 2 beautiful girls (9 and 4 yrs old). I find it so hard to find the woman that would accept my situation being a single Dad. I feel that I am being unfair, because the adjustment would mostly come from them. It's like a feeling of guilt or feeling that I am taking advantage for my own convinience. I would like the ask all the women reading this if I should just find a devorced or a single mother? Or would it be wiser to just go for my 1st choice of finding a single woman? My kids are very important to me and I would love for them to have a woman role model in my home. And not worry about having them adjust to step brothers and/or step sisters. Please help. Ladies please voice out.
2006-09-11 15:56:17 · 9 answers · asked by Jay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, why would you feel that you're being unfair? If your girls really means a lot to you, then you shouldn't feel like they were just excess baggage and you're ashamed of them. Why would you be so concerned of the "adjustments" that women would have to make. You barely know the woman and the children are your flesh and blood. I think women who refuse to date a man with kids, aren't necessarily bad people. There are women who just don't plan to have kids and they know that if they end up being with you, they will have to act like some kind of a mother figure to your kids. I wouldn't be so selective when finding a girlfriend. I wouldn't narrow my choices to just singles, divorced or single mothers. I would just narrow it down to woman who are not in a relationship but is looking for one, that's it. Although I think you would have more in common with women who has kids.
2006-09-11 16:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by pureessence 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Blended families are more complex in some ways, but even if she were single and never been a mom, don't assume that it would somehow be easier - she has no experience on what to expect - perhaps she thinks that the 4 year old should do dishes every night, or has some other perception and/or ideas about your children that someone who was a mom wouldn't have.
I would focus on who is right for you - because in 14 years, your oldest is 18 years old and out the door, but you've still got your wife for the next 20 - 30 years, without the children to worry about. If you focus on what your needs are, the woman of your dreams will be able to manage your family, and you will be able to change what you need to do as well to accomodate her potential family.
2006-09-11 23:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a single mom of 4 kids and so far into my dating experience i have found no guys that want to be a part of that!! I think you would do better with someone that has kids because they know what you go through and understand!! I have dated both guys with and with out kids and they all just can't accept a women with 4 kids!! Most women without kids are that way 4 a reason so u might wanna rethink that approach!!
2006-09-11 23:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by one_redneckmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay single and souly devote your time to your kids, until they're out starting a life of their own (or begging you to get out there and date). They won't be kids forever. You'll have plenty of time when they're grown and out of the house to have that relationship that you've always wanted. There are things that you do with your kids that you'd never let anyone else see (ex: dancing in the living room and acting goofy). A new relationship will take you away from those fun times. You won't realize it, but the kids will.
If you find "Ms. Right" right now.....she's going to be "Ms. Way Wrong" by the time the kids are moved out. Then you're going to grow to be a lonely old man watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, getting some right answers, and nobody's going to be there to see.
2006-09-11 23:13:30 · answer #4 · answered by pickitngrin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello great question! you are a great guy.
i am a single mother of three 2 boys 1 girl all 3 and under.you should check out some play groups they are loads of fun for the kids and a great way to meet allot of single moms!
2006-09-11 23:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by kaylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi daddy,well now when love strikes divorced,single mother,or just plan single (NO KIDS)..you sound like your going shopping,, you can;t base love on your 1st choice now,love comes from your heart,,have you ever seen movie yours mine and ours?not the new one with steave martin the older one with doris day???no matter what kind of women god brings into your life,you well know if its right or not..the heart well let you know..don't rush into any thing,ask god in the name of his son jesus christ.for he knows whats best.yes its true young ladys do need a woman role model in there lifes, ask god for that for them,to get that,and when he brings her around you well know if its right or not,,your heart well tell you,,for you see love well get you though hard times with no money,,better than money with no love..for now your little ladys have you.seek out big sisters and brothers if you need to for them but don't rush,,like i said your heart well lead you,god bless you and your little ladys,,i'll pray also for you and them...just don;t RUSH IT,,,,ok j-9
2006-09-12 01:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by j-9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a former single mom I think that my relationship with my fiance would of been easier if he would of had kids. Trust me that I love him and my DD loves him and things are great but it was a long road.
2006-09-11 22:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your a loser, how can you want a woman to accept you and your situation and yet you not be willing to accept theirs if they have children? its not right dude....your selfish you want what you want and dont seem to care about others! maybe you should look inside yourself a little deeper
2006-09-11 23:58:28 · answer #8 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suggestion: Don't look online,
2006-09-11 22:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋