I really fell for this guy. He was so loving and cuddly. He was beautiuly tender...I couln't say enough wonderful things. But after he sees me, and we spent the night together, he doesn't call for days and days. Yes I feel foolish so please don't make me feel worse. But I felt such a connection so a warmth from him. I wish I knew how to tell so as not to be fooled again. I am broken-hearted and really sad.
2006-09-11 14:45:28 · 22 answers · asked by laurapiano3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You didn't say how long you have been dating and how old the two of you are which would have been helpful. I assume it hasn't been very long and that you are both young. Perhaps he is just an independent guy and DOES have feelings for you but it might be to soon for him to get serious. What do his eyes tell you? Remember the words from Cher....it's in his kiss? Being best friends is most important. Hang out and in there for a while with him and see what happens. If you speak too soon you might scare him. Remember men like "the chase" so don't be all consuming and stop hanging out with your girlfriends.
2006-09-11 15:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by sunshinysusan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems this man is simply using you because of his lust. If he were truly in love with you, Im pretty sure he would at least call you or try seeing you every few days. Have you two gone on any simple hang-out types of dates, such as a walk in the park or maybe a baseball/ any other type of sports game? If he's not willing to spend time with you, maybe you should consider if he's really the guy for you.
Talking to him would probably also be beneficial.
2006-09-11 21:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by Diana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if it had been me, I probably would have waited a LOT longer to go to bed with him. At least a few months. I would make sure I could get as much out of him as I could without offending him. And if he was offended and didn't take all my questions well, I would know that he probably just wanted me for my looks and a one-night-stand. I would "apologetically" tell him that it wouldn't work out for me, and if he took THAT well, then that's kind of tough. He seems to be decent, he's a good sport, but he's offended when I ask him about his life!
I think if there was even one fishy or questionable thing about him, though, I would probably leave.
I real genuine guy would be patient about your questions, and maybe even ask a few questions of his own! Also, a genuine guy would be a very good and patient sport when you told him that you didn't want this relationship to go to fast, and wanted to get to know him better, before doing something stupid and regretting it.
Hope this helps!
Dr. Phil :-p (Just kidding; but seriously, I bet you believed that for a second because when I give an answer, I tend to give it in GREAT detail!!!)
2006-09-11 21:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by Horseluver_gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry sweetie. The same has happened to me in the past. And it's not the fact that you slept with him that drove him away (as I'm sure you're going to get a bunch of women telling you that). He was going to leave regardless, it might have just taken a little longer. How can you tell? I usually know when a guy is in love instead when he is REALLY there for me- sees me at my worst and is still there. Is content to just listen. And listening to my heart. And yes, the heart can misguide you, but it can also lead you to wonderful places.
Good luck in the future!
2006-09-11 21:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by Genevieve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him a call. If there is something there, it will come out. Stay tough with him though. You should let him know that you are in control of the entire situation. Have a couple of dates now. If he is sponge worthy he will go out a few times while you drag him along. If he proves true then step up again. He may have some skeletons he is dealing with or some baggage he needs to get rid of. Find out!
2006-09-11 21:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by torontos_own 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. Men will pull out all the stops and turn on the charm when they are horny and want to get laid. Consider your experience a lesson learned. If a man is truly interested in you he will stick around until you are ready to sleep with him. He won't pressure you or play on your emotions. Best advice: take it nice and slow. That way you won't be disappointed or surprised
when he doesn't call again.
2006-09-11 21:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is the very reason why its best o take the time to get o know a guy before hitting the sack with him if he sticks around for months still chasing behind you being there as a friend and a partner chances are he is for real you probably got caught up in his cuddling and decided to go further before knowing his intentions we all make mistakes sometimes but dont feel bad he is the loser for trying to trick you into sex and then leaving once he gets it he's a dog and sadly he wont be the last so be careful next time take the time to get to know what he's about ask around ask other girls he's dated if it happened to them chances are it will happen to you too keep your head up girl.
2006-09-11 21:50:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hopefully have learned from this lesson, if you don't give into the sexual desire then you will find out eventually what the guy wants, love or lust. I don't see why you're so upset really, you weren't up front with this guy and you played right into his game. Make a guy wait for you, you're worth it.
2006-09-11 21:50:04 · answer #8 · answered by cat s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows. But it is time for you to go 'all in' and put your cards on the table. Life is too short.
Tell him you want a boyfriend, not just some guy who drops by to get serviced.
Be prepared to dump him if he isn't ready to take it to the next level.
2006-09-11 21:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just not that into you. Sorry, it's booty call. But if he is good in bed and you like his preformance[which is what it is] just be in the moment and enjoy the ride for what its worth! Don't be so needy and available. Don't be so easy! Get a life hun!
2006-09-11 21:50:02 · answer #10 · answered by motherpeanutbutterbutinsky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋