I have been dating my BF for about 5 months & it is going pretty stable. Am i expecting too much to hear those 3 words? My friends have asked him about it & his stand was: he rather proof his love via actions.. EXPERTS, PLEASE HELP!!!!
2006-09-11 14:43:18 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
More details to share:
1.This is the first serious relationship he ever had. He told me that he is still trying to learn to go about it. And true enough he always improves & make adjustments everytime he sensed them.
2. Despite that, there are a few things that made me feel that i am not one of his priority yet. Of course I am not expecting to be one of his top now, but I have to sense it working up.
To sum it up, be it with or without the 3 words, what i am lacking from him is the assurance & i don't seem to be getting the 100% of him.
2006-09-11 18:09:04 · update #1
More details again:
1.His first & last relationship lasted 4 months when he was ard 25.
2. He is now 27 & I am 29.
2006-09-11 18:10:49 · update #2
Some guys, like me, prefer to say those words when we are truly sure. We just won't say it to anyone, no matter how much in love we think we are.
2006-09-11 14:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since I'm not sure how old you are, I'm going to try the most diplomatic approach with a general answer.
He will tell you when he's ready. If you pressure him, or have your friends drop hints, that will only cause trouble, and quite possibly the break up of your relationship, if he feels too cornered.
If you're happy with each other's company and have a good time, then embrace that and cherish it. That's what should be most important to you at the moment. Not hearing him say he loves you.
Think of it this way. Would you rather hear him say he loves you several times a day, and not treat you right or have a wonderful relationship and actually be able to feel his love just with him holding your hand, or how he looks at you, and you can see the love in his eyes?
Again, when he's ready, he'll tell you.
2006-09-11 14:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by eedoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what you consider an expert, but I will share what I have learned from my many mistakes. If those three words are I Love You, some people do have a very difficult time saying them and some people say them just to get what they want out of you. You really do have to pay attention to actions. That saying, "actions speak louder than words" is so true. If he is not ready to say those three words, I would not push it, but you should also pay attention to his actions. Is he showing you respect? Is he sensitive to your feelings? Does he laugh at your jokes? Does he complement you on your strengths? Does he call when he says he will? If it is very important for you to hear those words, try talking to him about it in a non threatening way. Let him know that you respect his feelings about it, and also let him know your feelings about it. A good relationship has direct communication between both parties, try not to use your friends as messengers. Good Luck.
2006-09-11 14:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Words don't count where there is no action. Actions tell it all, words could just be plain "lip service". But it's been 5 months and he never said anything. What kind of relationship do you have then? Not even a text message punctuated by ILY or better yet ILYVM that would allow you to reply ILYVMT?
If he can't express himself properly in words, what are your indicators that he really feel that way, then? Maybe it is time to bait him with you saying those words and if he doesn't reciprocate the same expression, then you can say you do have a problem.
2006-09-11 14:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Bummerang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those three words are said too much so if you've got a guy that prefers actions to words then at least you know he doesn't go around saying those three words all the time. He'll say them when he's ready and it'll be nice because you'll know that he really means it. However, I wouldn't wait forever because while it's nice that some guys prefer actions to the words, it really is nice to hear them once in a while. Give it a few more months and see what happens.
2006-09-11 14:50:11 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult for some men to say I love you. It could be how he was brought up, or what past relationships have taught him. Some people say I love you with absolutely no action behind it. I can tell you words mean nothing to me, if you don't show love in your actions towards me. The main thing to ask yourself is, do you see his love for you in his actions? So do you? The relationship is still young, you should be able to express your love for him as you are accustomed and let him feel comfortable with what he is accustomed. I also believe you should talk to him about it, (if it is a concern for you) so that both of you can come to an understanding and help the relationship grow.
2006-09-11 14:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by Firebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 months and you want an "I love you". Pleeeeeease, it is obvious to me that you don't know the meaning of love. Love does not happen in time - 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, true love can take a matter of years. Enjoy your time. If you're in a relationship waiting and timing when the 3 words come - you're in it for the wrong reason.
2006-09-11 14:45:58 · answer #7 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for some people, actions speak louder than words. When my hubby told me that he loved me for the 1st time, well, it was special. He told me that he knew he loved me after a month, but wanted to wait till the right time, place, so it would be special.
And when he did, it was.
Some people can say I love you quickly, and others take their time. I love you is taken so lightly now days. When someone says it to me, well, I want them to really mean it. Your BF will come around soon enough. Just hang in there and keep doing your part. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-11 14:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by Trina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is afraid of showing his feelings? Has he been hurt bad before that you know of? Have you told him you love him? If you have and he doesn't reply you need to discuss this with him. Everyone wants to hear this and if he is holding back that's one thing but if you want to continue with this person he may not tell you all the time what he feels.. and you may get tired of the non-communication you are receiving.
2006-09-11 14:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by NaNa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only been 3month .girl give the boy sometime.stop rushing him.it sounds like you want him to say it because that's what you want to hear.saying it and meaning it are 2 totally different things.you see some people take the words i love you a little more serious then others.that means when they say it they really mean it.so tell your friends to back off.before you run him off,and stop making such an issue out of it,and stop putting your friends up to asking him.are your going to end up hearing what you don't want to hear.
2006-09-11 15:10:17 · answer #10 · answered by lovinonly#1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. I did not beleave anyone who told me that they loved me, after ever beating My Mother gave me she said those 3 words. Maybe he has heard them too and does not know what they really mean either. Be patient and ask those hard questions that we of the abused sect hate to answer.
2006-09-11 14:48:03 · answer #11 · answered by Mike C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋